Leeladams72 Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I'm trying to process a weird situation with a friend. To sum it up: we met at work earlier in the year, I discovered him staring at me a lot and giving me subte non verbal clues that he was interested. I ended up intiating a conversation with him and from then on we had lunch together a lot, talked all the time etc. during this time I was open to him about my feelings but he was never open but would say indirect things to indicate that he liked me. Because of his indirectness I feel insecure and started to play ganes to distance myself and he mirrored my actions. Soon after that our association was mainly game playing and flirting that led to us just being friends. Since I knew I still liked him, I decided I needed to end the friendship until I could get my feelings together. I let him know this and at first he still tried to pursue the friendship and engage in convos with me. Then ignored me altogether. And we stopped talking for 2 months. We ended up reconnecting because we saw each other one day, very briefly. Since then gradually he has been asking me to hang out a lot and taking with me like he used to. Seemed like things were going okay. though every time he asked me to hang out I turned it down. He would also say things to get a reaction out of me, lately. Just ask me questions or say statements to see if I would get riled up like I used to or admit that I still like him. I never did. Yesterday we were talking via text and he sent me a picture of this new girl he said he started dating. He told me a lot about her and seemed excited about her. I wyd him luck and kept the convo going in a different direction. He then tried to ask him to hang out with him today and I declined. When he asked me why, I finally admitted that I felt awkward to hang out with him at this point because I still felt a little silly about how I used to act around him and the behaviors I engaged in when I did like him... He didnt respond to me for a while then finally sent me a message and told me that he liked me. And so I was like wtf, why send me a pic of a girl that he is dating but then later on admit to liking me. I confronted him about it and told him I didnt believe him. And we argued about it, and I left it alone. Never of course telling him how I felt about him at this point(which to be honest I'm not sure), I did send him a message completely ignoring the convo we had yesterday and telling him about a tattoo I'm getting and he is ignoring me. What gives? Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 What gives? What do you mean? It's pretty black and white. He never had the balls to tell you directly how he felt (if he ever did), he mirrored your games because he didn't have the balls to admit his feelings, and now he is "dating" another girl and trying to rile you up, because he doesn't have the balls to admit he liked you. He resorts to playing immature games. Maybe he's afraid of being hurt, maybe he is really awkward, nevertheless he's immature. The real question is, what do you want with him and why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leeladams72 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) Honestly at this point the only thing I would want from him outside of friendship Is sex.... He has shown that he isn't relationship material and I'm sick of the mixed signals and games from him. I think its bizarre to send me a pic of a girl he's dating and then later tell me he likes me. He bragged about her accomplishments and they've been dating for three weeks. She looks nothing like me and really none of his past gf's do either. I just feel like all in all if he really liked me he wouldn't be dating another woman. I used to always ask him how he felt about me and he never would tell me. so I just wonder if he's playing games and just saying it to get a reaction... He keeps talking about my butt too... Edited April 25, 2014 by Leeladams72 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leeladams72 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 He's ignoring me now too... I think he's mad that I didnt respond the way he thought I would when he told me he liked me. Link to post Share on other sites
Potion9 Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 He's ignoring me now too... I think he's mad that I didnt respond the way he thought I would when he told me he liked me. He has a GF of 3 weeks and likes you? WTF? That is bizarre to send you a pic of the girl he is dating and talk about her as well.......... Not sure what kind of dumb games he is playing but doesn't seem like it is worth anymore of your time. Maybe if you want a ONS with him keep texting away..... although he has a GF........ Better off just to move on imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Honestly at this point the only thing I would want from him outside of friendship Is sex.... I have a feeling he'll be immature about this too, maybe even scare him away. If you want, just straight up ask him he wants to. He's ignoring me now too... I think he's mad that I didnt respond the way he thought I would when he told me he liked me. You are a very forgiving person, because you're showing concern for him being mad. But how did you feel when he did this to you first? (from your initial post): I ended up intiating a conversation with him and from then on we had lunch together a lot, talked all the time etc. during this time I was open to him about my feelings but he was never open but would say indirect things to indicate that he liked me. Because of his indirectness I feel insecure and started to play ganes to distance myself and he mirrored my actions. Honestly, I think you are only chasing him because he is good looking (based on the fact that you would want to have sex with him). Pretty things are trivial, and a person loses their luster quick when they play games such as this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leeladams72 Posted April 26, 2014 Author Share Posted April 26, 2014 He has a GF of 3 weeks and likes you? WTF? That is bizarre to send you a pic of the girl he is dating and talk about her as well.......... Not sure what kind of dumb games he is playing but doesn't seem like it is worth anymore of your time. Maybe if you want a ONS with him keep texting away..... although he has a GF........ Better off just to move on imo. Not his gf. Just some girl he is dating. they haven't made it official. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leeladams72 Posted April 26, 2014 Author Share Posted April 26, 2014 I have a feeling he'll be immature about this too, maybe even scare him away. If you want, just straight up ask him he wants to. You are a very forgiving person, because you're showing concern for him being mad. But how did you feel when he did this to you first? (from your initial post): Honestly, I think you are only chasing him because he is good looking (based on the fact that you would want to have sex with him). Pretty things are trivial, and a person loses their luster quick when they play games such as this guy. Ha well I texted him the other day and told him if he likes it he has to prove it and make out with me. But that he's dating this girl so I doubt he would do it, and that since he is dating her I can only assume he doesn't like me. He texted me back and said "how am I supposed to make out with you if you never want to see me" And I said "lol like you would anyway. Besides wouldnt that be cheating on this new girl you apparently like to and are dating? I thought you didn't believe in cheating" And he said "she's not my gf and I don't believe in cheating. I didnt say I would." So I just said "lol ur funny" then changed the subject to tell him about my tattoos I was going to be getting. And he ignored me the rest of the day. In the past I might have probed further about the girl, or told him we can hang out so that he can make out with me. But now? Nah. I didnt care enough about it nor did I believe he liked me, so essentially I was calling his bluff. And yes he is good looking and I bet he would be weird after sex. which is why I'm not really pushing for anything with him at this point. More just trying to understand his weird behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Many times you will never know the reason behind a person's behavior. You can read many frustrated stories on this site to see you share a similar story. The only thing to help your sanity, is just accept the way he is. You can either keep him as a friend and maybe he might come around, or just move on, and hopefully find someone that doesn't get scared of reciprocating your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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