Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 And for god's sake, if you're SO attractive, as you say you are, you wouldn't be sweating this chick so hard and asking for ways to reclaim power. A man with options doesn't care about power games like this cause he always has numbers on the side. Your faux attempt at tryna to sound like you think you're attractive betrays your actual actions. You don't sound like a man with options, cause a doormat never has options, cause he's too busy being stepped on to go find other options. Kid, the more you post, the more sad this is gonna look. When are you going to stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your upper head? I do have options. I just don't want to use them. We are still together, technically speaking, why would I want to hurt he again with a betrayal? I'm holding out hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 If I just keep giving her space and letting her come to me as I have been doing and I act calm an casual when we talk perhaps she will eventually come back to noal. It's going to take months. Se also needs to see me progressing onward and upward in my own life. She once said a week ago that if I focus on myself and get my life in order se will come around. That she wants me to be a man and get my **** together. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 'fraid this is likely a lost cause. Hate to break it to you, too, but my ex was just like yours. She said the same thing about friends being too much work. But guess what, she left me after 4 years and moved in with another guy 2 weeks later. Your hope is betraying you more than she is. It's done. DONE. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 I view it as more of a rut that will require me giving her space and going with the flow to come out of it. I'm an optimist. I also think if it really were done she would've severed contact. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I view it as more of a rut that will require me giving her space and going with the flow to come out of it. I'm an optimist. I also think if it really were done she would've severed contact. Severing contact does not necessarily correlate to if being over or not. Don't make that mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 Severing contact does not necessarily correlate to if being over or not. Don't make that mistake. True, But the fact is, in her head we are still together. In a rocky relationship but together. She said I can fix things but that since I messed it up I have to figure out how on my own. She said story messed things up you unmess tem. She did say specifically that if we were done she would not even be talking to me. I view as right now we are on the outs, pending me giving her space and focusing on myself. I think that if I play this right that by September we will be on better footing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 Right now I have her baby movies. For Christmas I had them converted to DVD for her. She has my Christ head necklace I gave her. If it was very she would have discussed the return of those items. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 So you take responsibility for every single issue in your 'relationship'? She is a fairy princess who is perfect and who did absolutely nothing wrong? You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery with that attitude (well..until she dumps you again at least). What is she doing to change herself and make herself better? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 This is sad, perhaps one of the saddest of all topics I've read here. If not the saddest. Unfortunately, you are rationalizing. "If it were REALLY over, she would've........" Sorry man. This is painful to see. It's over. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 This is sad, perhaps one of the saddest of all topics I've read here. If not the saddest. Unfortunately, you are rationalizing. "If it were REALLY over, she would've........" Sorry man. This is painful to see. It's over. Then tell me why she is insisting we are together? Why does she bother contacting me at all? Why doesn't she ask for her home movies back? Why hasn't she given me my chain back? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Then tell me why she is insisting we are together? Why does she bother contacting me at all? Why doesn't she ask for her home movies back? Why hasn't she given me my chain back? - Because you're boosting her ego while she bangs other dudes and she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger. - Because you're boosting her ego while she bangs other dudes and she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger. - Because you're boosting her ego while she bangs other dudes and she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger. - Because you're boosting her ego while she bangs other dudes and she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Then tell me why she is insisting we are together? Why does she bother contacting me at all? Why doesn't she ask for her home movies back? Why hasn't she given me my chain back? 1. Because you clearly are so argumentative she tells you what you want to hear so you stop nagging, because you don't take no for an answer here. 2. She bothers contacting you to alleviate guilt, and probably to keep up the false image she is portraying to you so that you don't keep nagging. 3. I didn't ask for a damn thing of my ex's back and neither did she. Plus, for the other 2 reasons listed before this one. 4. Same. Kali is correct, and so am I. You are acting like a fool. I know it hurts, but you pretending the world is something it isn't is not going to fix anything in real life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Then tell me why she is insisting we are together? Why does she bother contacting me at all? Why doesn't she ask for her home movies back? Why hasn't she given me my chain back? Why should she? She got you wrapped around her little finger as a nice back up in case dude she's banging ain't working out for her. She's got no respect for you. Women like strong men who can stand up for themselves. You show none of those things. What a woman says is not what she feels. The sooner you learn this the better off you'll be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Why should she? She got you wrapped around her little finger as a nice back up in case dude she's banging ain't working out for her. She's got no respect for you. Women like strong men who can stand up for themselves. You show none of those things. What a woman says is not what she feels. The sooner you learn this the better off you'll be. Yeah, no. Bolded..totally and completely untrue. Don't get all jaded on us Nat! Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Yeah, no. Bolded..totally and completely untrue. Don't get all jaded on us Nat! I'm not jaded. Not anymore. It's common knowledge that when it comes to most women, actions speak louder than words. Come on, Kali, how many times have you wanted to like guys that seemed decent but couldn't because there was no "spark?" What I'm saying is that this guy is listening to her words, but doesn't realize her actions betray her words. This is something all broken-hearted men(and women) learn during this time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Then tell me why she is insisting we are together? Why does she bother contacting me at all? Why doesn't she ask for her home movies back? Why hasn't she given me my chain back? I think it goes a little something like..you just put down 1K for her education, she uses your card to buy shoes online, oh and your money is now "her money". I mean, the woman gave you a set of "conditions" that more or less equate to I don't want to bother with you but oh she's more than happy to take and spend your money. You see nothing wrong with the fact she is using you? No, probably not because that's the point isn't it? If you give her incentive like this, it at least keeps her around, for now. Do you post here so you have some method of keeping your relationship alive? I'm starting to wonder... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 I'm not jaded. Not anymore. It's common knowledge that when it comes to most women, actions speak louder than words. Come on, Kali, how many times have you wanted to like guys that seemed decent but couldn't because there was no "spark?" What I'm saying is that this guy is listening to her words, but doesn't realize her actions betray her words. This is something all broken-hearted men(and women) learn during this time. Ok, but to be fair..that's not a girl thing. Men do this just as much as women do. You may not realize it because you don't date men, but it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
FredJones80 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Yeah, no. Bolded..totally and completely untrue. Don't get all jaded on us Nat! Sorry, it is true. Men say things directly. Woman say something completely different. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Ok, but to be fair..that's not a girl thing. Men do this just as much as women do. You may not realize it because you don't date men, but it's true. While both sexes do it, I think women "beat around the bush" more than men do. To what degree, I can't say, but that's been my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Right now I have her baby movies. For Christmas I had them converted to DVD for her. She has my Christ head necklace I gave her. If it was very she would have discussed the return of those items. I have several of my ex's things and vice versa. You are grasping at straws. This is truly a sad thread, and I'm sorry for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Now, 1) she still calls me from her work at break and is calling me boo an darling But 2) we only talk for an hour or two, later in the day. Let's say she gets home from work at 6pm...I won't hear from her til at least 8 or even 10 or 11. Then after an hour or two at 1130 or 1230. She'll say she's going to bed....at which point shell just be on YouTube and googling crap till 4am. Every girl I know, none of whom know each other, who hav been told the situation, are all in agreement on the following: -I gave her too much power in the relationship and now she does not respect me. Tw only way too regain her respect is to be cold and distant myself and not as readily available. -That while I was wrong in being insecure, she now is being unfair toward me. Not willing to just break up with me if she wants me gone, cotinuingto give me mixed messages after a month and a half, making me feel like low or no priority then getting mad when I get upset. Even my therapist, who is a female, agreed with that. She's known the relationship from it's beginning and thinks that subconsciously she is making me pay for the way I acted, that subconscious this is a game to her. So, I confronted her by text last night. 'Im gonna be honest with you, I miss you horribly. I miss watchin movies with you, hearin you be cute with me, and I hate myself for ever doing anything stupid and I am sorry for it. All I want is for you to say you're my girl, that I'm your man and that's the way it's gonna stay. I miss how things were before the fight, the good parts. When you call me just tell me what's what either way. Don't be afraid that I'll freak out or something if you're gonna say something I don't like. I just got to know what's what cause this last month has killed me inside, either way I respect your decison. Just tell me straight' Her reply: 'As I've said from the beginning I need time and space This is the same convo we've had a million times With time and space we will eventually rebuild' I've given her almost two months!!!! Why can't she just come out and say either we are together in her head, or not? I don't care ether way at this point. Before you say whatever, she is the one calling me. She calls me during her break at work, skypes me when she gets home. Outside of that text, I do not initiate conversation, she does. So it's not a case of where I keep calling her and not leaving her alone and she doesn't know what to do. I give her a wide berth of space. She's the one making contact, it'd be very easy not to talk to me. Her leaving me wouldn't hurt me, it's this game that is. Why can't she just give me a straight answer? Seriously. It's pissing me off at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 I've given her almost two months!!!! Why can't she just come out and say either we are together in her head, or not? I don't care ether way at this point. Before you say whatever, she is the one calling me. She calls me during her break at work, skypes me when she gets home. Outside of that text, I do not initiate conversation, she does. So it's not a case of where I keep calling her and not leaving her alone and she doesn't know what to do. I give her a wide berth of space. She's the one making contact, it'd be very easy not to talk to me. Her leaving me wouldn't hurt me, it's this game that is. Why can't she just give me a straight answer? Seriously. It's pissing me off at this point. Why can't you just tell her it's over or not? What's stopping you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgt. Pepper Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Why can't you just tell her it's over or not? What's stopping you? Because I don't hold the cards in the relationship, she does. Also, I do not want to hurt her or reject her. I can never be hard with her, even when I have to be, she's my weakness. There's been so many times I've wanted to go all alpha and say look enough of this ****, have had speeches all in mind, then she will skype call me and my resolve will break when I see her face. Also, any time I have tried to ask her what's what she either turns it around I me or gets vague like the message I copied here. Also, there is the question in my head of, what it I'm overthinking everything? Maybe if I just wait this out, it will be like she says. Maybe I just need to take her at face value on this and that 'with time and space we can rebuild'. There's always in my mind ten million possibilities and lackin a clear cut answer, my mind obsesses over the possibilities, alternatives, options, ways each path could turn out. All I desire is a clear cut answer, either: A) 'We are together and I still want to be with you, I just need some time. B) 'We are not together and we won't be ever again' It's just frustrating. I want her, I do not want any other woman. I even made an okcupid just to look and see if I wanted anything else, see what's out there and I do not want any other girl. Edited May 19, 2014 by Sgt. Pepper Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Because I don't hold the cards in the relationship, she does. Why does she hold the cards? Because you gave them to her. Your situation is your own making at this point. You can't blame her for anything anymore. She has shown you very clearly who she is, and you continue to play along. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) I do not want to hurt her or reject her. I can never be hard with her, even when I have to be, she's my weakness. No, NICE GUY SYNDROME is your weakness. Go read No More Mr. Nice Guy. You're getting trampled on like a damn shameful TOOL. Sad and pitiful. INCREDIBLY pathetic. She will be HAPPY to use you, while she sleeps with other guys. Have a nice day. Edited May 19, 2014 by Strength in Healing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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