Will she ever put back on my ring? [update]

[mtnbiker3000]

All the sacrifices I made, all the hell I put up with, all the stuff I did for her, none of it means anything?

 

This is care-taking. It doesn't work.

 

I am obsessed with this yes, but only because I gave myself and my life entirely to her...

 

You have handed over everything to her. You have nothing left. That is very unattractive. Women want a strong, confident man. Who has his own life. They do not want you served up on a silver platter!!

 

Please read 'No More. Mr. Nice Guy'. IMO - You are a severe case of a 'nice guy'. You give to get. You aren't clear or strong about your own wants and needs. You have low self-esteem, and feel unworthy and unlovable.

[Sgt. Pepper]

If she doesn't call within a well I'm going to write her this. If she does call in gnr to have her read it.

 

'After looking at hundreds of girls and talking to dozens it's only strengthened my knowing that you are it. Our relationship is it. You are the one for me and I for you. Some girls might be more intellectual, more tolerant, more open about their feelings. Other guys are more lighter hearted, funnier, laid back. But they wouldn't get me like you do and they wouldn't get you like I do. My knowledge, my snooping, had only made me know you more, love you more. But this relationship is us. It's home. It's what we've fought and lived for a year. No pretense no bull****. You don't have to lie to me to impress me anymore like you do with others, and I know every dirty secret, every lie, every flaw, your moral failings and I accept you and it. And still respect you. And I won't ask anymore questions, dig or pry of you or your secrets if we remain together. But we've both got some growing up to do. I need to get my **** together for you. Job wise, career, need to be less attached to you. You need to be more cfortable with yourself, open with your feelings, drop your pretenses, and become truly ready for this level of commitment. You're going to need to drop your materialism because love isn't material. Those guys offer more fun and more money, objects, things. I offer you real love and, with patience, all the things material that you want. You're a gold digger inside and I respect it and it's always turned me on about you. You're Scarlet O'Hara. You're not the most moral of people despite your claims to being godly, and you know it inside. You might believe in God, but it's paper thin for you; part of your persona, and you have several of those. You like to build an image, several, you don't really know who you are and you rewrite your history and your story. We're two terrible people, my dear, and we deserve each other's company, and more to the point, we need it. Normalcy doesn't make sense deep down within for either of us. On the surface level for you, but you're not as honest with yourself as I am. You're likely a pathological liar, my love. I'm a goddamn sentimental sap who can't truly lie for anything. Yin and Yang. Emotional and cold. Lie and truth. Me and you. Us. You're so afraid deep down within to confront yourself and your own immorality. That's why you cut yourself and tried to kill yourself at the heart of it. You deep down have always hated yourself but I've boosted your ego and self confidence through the roof. You know all you want out of a relationship is a glorified sugar daddy, always been that way, but you'll never truly admit it to yourself. You want to be taken care of and pampered, being given material things feels like love to you. You're spoiled, but not a brat. You're deliciously wicked and I love you for it. I'm Rhett and you're Scarlett. Only I've been so weak and unmanly and pathetic toward you that you have no respect. But you will again. Im not going to submit to you anymore or tap dance or be all feminine with that stupid cute voice.

 

Explore a little and you'll eventually realize what I know, that we were made for each other. I propose we stay together, but we become much more casual, perhaps an open relationship, open but honest about others. No lies, no more miscommunication or secrecy. No more kid ****, no basing our relationship around watching tv shows. we have to grow up. The future doesnt wait.. We stick to the plans we've made as far as living together and slowly work to rebuilding our relationship and your respect for me. And that's how it is. Take it or leave.

 

Try lying to others about huge facts about yourself, like you did with me, see how others take that. See how others take your lies. Not as well as me. There's only one me. And I'm not like anybody else, for good and ill. Take it or leave it.'

[mtnbiker3000]

I read the first 2 or 3 sentences. A monumentally bad idea. Catastrophic!!!

 

Please do not send it!! Fine that you wrote it to get your thoughts out on paper. But do not send this. It will accomplish nothing but remove any last doubt she had that dumping you was the right decision.

 

Guaranteed she will 'leave it'!!

Edited May 23, 2014 by mtnbiker3000

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

If she doesn't call within a well I'm going to write her this. If she does call in gnr to have her read it.

 

'After looking at hundreds of girls and talking to dozens it's only strengthened my knowing that you are it. Our relationship is it. You are the one for me and I for you. Some girls might be more intellectual, more tolerant, more open about their feelings. Other guys are more lighter hearted, funnier, laid back. But they wouldn't get me like you do and they wouldn't get you like I do. My knowledge, my snooping, had only made me know you more, love you more. But this relationship is us. It's home. It's what we've fought and lived for a year. No pretense no bull****. You don't have to lie to me to impress me anymore like you do with others, and I know every dirty secret, every lie, every flaw, your moral failings and I accept you and it. And still respect you. And I won't ask anymore questions, dig or pry of you or your secrets if we remain together. But we've both got some growing up to do. I need to get my **** together for you. Job wise, career, need to be less attached to you. You need to be more cfortable with yourself, open with your feelings, drop your pretenses, and become truly ready for this level of commitment. You're going to need to drop your materialism because love isn't material. Those guys offer more fun and more money, objects, things. I offer you real love and, with patience, all the things material that you want. You're a gold digger inside and I respect it and it's always turned me on about you. You're Scarlet O'Hara. You're not the most moral of people despite your claims to being godly, and you know it inside. You might believe in God, but it's paper thin for you; part of your persona, and you have several of those. You like to build an image, several, you don't really know who you are and you rewrite your history and your story. We're two terrible people, my dear, and we deserve each other's company, and more to the point, we need it. Normalcy doesn't make sense deep down within for either of us. On the surface level for you, but you're not as honest with yourself as I am. You're likely a pathological liar, my love. I'm a goddamn sentimental sap who can't truly lie for anything. Yin and Yang. Emotional and cold. Lie and truth. Me and you. Us. You're so afraid deep down within to confront yourself and your own immorality. That's why you cut yourself and tried to kill yourself at the heart of it. You deep down have always hated yourself but I've boosted your ego and self confidence through the roof. You know all you want out of a relationship is a glorified sugar daddy, always been that way, but you'll never truly admit it to yourself. You want to be taken care of and pampered, being given material things feels like love to you. You're spoiled, but not a brat. You're deliciously wicked and I love you for it. I'm Rhett and you're Scarlett. Only I've been so weak and unmanly and pathetic toward you that you have no respect. But you will again. Im not going to submit to you anymore or tap dance or be all feminine with that stupid cute voice.

 

Explore a little and you'll eventually realize what I know, that we were made for each other. I propose we stay together, but we become much more casual, perhaps an open relationship, open but honest about others. No lies, no more miscommunication or secrecy. No more kid ****, no basing our relationship around watching tv shows. we have to grow up. The future doesnt wait.. We stick to the plans we've made as far as living together and slowly work to rebuilding our relationship and your respect for me. And that's how it is. Take it or leave.

 

Try lying to others about huge facts about yourself, like you did with me, see how others take that. See how others take your lies. Not as well as me. There's only one me. And I'm not like anybody else, for good and ill. Take it or leave it.'

 

This is awful. Do not let ANYONE (other than people on this site) read this. She can't "leave it" because she already did leave it. She can say whatever she wants, but she isnt there. Honestly dude, you have to let it be.

[BC1980]

Don't send that letter. You really need to step away from this entire situation because it sounds pretty awful. You are just going to persist in it though aren't you?

[KaliLove]

That letter is horrible. You say all sorts of nasty, rude things about her and you expect her to swoon? Really?

[hoping2heal]

This is weird, but I swear I kept hearing train horns when I was reading your letter, OP.

 

So, the game plan now as it seems, is to let her know that no one else is going to want her because of her multitude of issues, and remind her of what those issues are and how terrible she is, but she shouldn't fear because you still want her, since you're willing to accept and put up with anything.

 

OP, I don't know what has happened to you in your life that has made you believe you're a lesser person than the common man. I hope that someday you might find an avenue that allows you to build some self-esteem and self worth. Tearing someone else down in an effort to get them to think they can't be worthy of love by anyone else is not the kind of thing that is going to build your own self image or esteem. I know you believe you love this woman, but it's clear that you don't love yourself and you don't think or seem to know, you are and can / should have someone who treats you well and appreciates you. Not someone who takes your money and tells you a bunch of bull****. Being so downtrodden you'll accept mistreatment and being used, is not the same thing as accepting someone for who they are.

[Elle1975]

Eeeeek! Do not send that. And what's up with the open relationship? Eeek again! Are you willing to accept about anything?

 

This letter goes on and on about her flaws. If that's a break up letter, it's perfect, mean even. If that's supposed to be a "lets get back together" letter, do no send it. It basically says "you're such a bad person. I'm the only one willing to put up with you".

 

Dam

[jonsnuh]

She dumped me. And almost immediately after went on dating websites.

In a second convo, said she is confused and doesn't know anything and that we will discuss it on Thursday. And repeated how all she ends is space because she's so confused. Is confused and wants chocolate.

 

Sounds like what my first ex did. Seriously, she's leading you on and leaving you on the back burner for that ego stroke for those lonely nights until someone comes up to replace you. To substitute you like a new plush toy. Kind of like my first teddy bear that I gave her that got relegated from her bed squeeze to the macquillage drawer when we were still in a LDR. If she's on OLD, I fear this is the beginning of a downward spiral because women tend to get the mentality that they are good enough for the top 20% of men, and that sex with these men gives them validation they so desperately seek.

 

Don't decide for her what she wants. She knows you want her, and NOT going NC will only make her feel certain that she doesn't want you. She is looking for reasons to reinforce that idea planted in her head that she needs to rid herself of you.

 

Sorry to put it this way OP. Focus the attention on working on yourself, and keeping your boundaries, values, and beliefs intact.

[Sgt. Pepper]

What is OLD?

[Simon Phoenix]

What is OLD?

 

Online dating. And I really hope you never send that later. If there was a "Bad Letter to Ex" Hall of Fame, that would get the No. 1 spot.

Edited May 23, 2014 by Simon Phoenix

[Sgt. Pepper]

She's talking to lots of guys with money. Being very open sexually.

She texted me just now:

'just wanted to update you the mole came back benign. Don't text me please. I'll contact you.'

 

I haventt attempted to contact her since the other day nor did I reply.

[jonsnuh]

She's talking to lots of guys with money. Being very open sexually.

She texted me just now:

'just wanted to update you the mole came back benign. Don't text me please. I'll contact you.'

 

I haventt attempted to contact her since the other day nor did I reply.

 

She sounds very full of herself. It's clearly unwanted behaviour. I try not to use profanity, but for your sake: "Ditch this bitch quick"

[Sgt. Pepper]

She sounds very full of herself. It's clearly unwanted behaviour. I try not to use profanity, but for your sake: "Ditch this bitch quick"

 

I made her like this.

When we met, she was very, very vulnerable, eager to please, submissive and unsure of herself. Needed my assurance and validation that she was loved and cared about by someone. Now she is quite cocky and confident but she doesn't give me any credit in terms of building her up. Says she had it in her all along.

Still, my question is, why would she even have bothered to update me? If she doesn't want me thinking of her or want me to move on she shouldn't have written me and she knows me well enough to know that.

 

I want her back. I Do not care if she is bad for me. I want her back.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I made her like this.

When we met, she was very, very vulnerable, eager to please, submissive and unsure of herself. Needed my assurance and validation that she was loved and cared about by someone. Now she is quite cocky and confident but she doesn't give me any credit in terms of building her up. Says she had it in her all along.

Still, my question is, why would she even have bothered to update me? If she doesn't want me thinking of her or want me to move on she shouldn't have written me and she knows me well enough to know that.

 

I want her back. I Do not care if she is bad for me. I want her back.

 

Well Pepper, just like we said in page 1, its a two way street. If she wanted to be with you, she would still be with you. She is "updating" you because she wants to be the stronger one. She wants to show you that she is the dominate one in the breakup. It's all ego and self awareness.

 

A lot of what you are saying is "was" and "were." Meaning this was the PAST. Once the breakup happen, all of that stuff went out the window. So far, with what has gone on, she is getting exactly what she is wanting...which isnt you in the end. The faster you get that, the quicker you will feel better.

 

There is nothing you can do to get her back. There is only things you can do to hurt any chance to reconcile in the future.

Edited May 23, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing

[Sgt. Pepper]

Well Pepper, just like we said in page 1, its a two way street. If she wanted to be with you, she would still be with you. She is "updating" you because she wants to be the stronger one. She wants to show you that she is the dominate one in the breakup. It's all ego and self awareness.

 

A lot of what you are saying is "was" and "were." Meaning this was the PAST. Once the breakup happen, all of that stuff went out the window. So far, with what has gone on, she is getting exactly what she is wanting...which isnt you in the end. The faster you get that, the quicker you will feel better.

 

There is nothing you can do to get her back. There is only things you can do to hurt any chance to reconcile in the future.

 

Tell me what to do then to not ruin hope of a future reconciliation.

If she contacts me by phone or skype tonight, what should I do? How should I act? What should we talk about?

Suppose she wants to hear my views on things as far as us? She did say the next time we talk we will discuss it.

 

I actually feel much stronger from talking to other women and getting their attention. It has not made me want her less, actualy more, and I way her back, but I do not need her back anymore. I want her back but ion respectful grounds.

[hoping2heal]

Tell me what to do then to not ruin hope of a future reconciliation.

If she contacts me by phone or skype tonight, what should I do? How should I act? What should we talk about?

Suppose she wants to hear my views on things as far as us? She did say the next time we talk we will discuss it.

 

I actually feel much stronger from talking to other women and getting their attention. It has not made me want her less, actualy more, and I way her back, but I do not need her back anymore. I want her back but ion respectful grounds.

 

I'm saying this to be nice, but lying to yourself isn't going to help things. You're desperate and it's not only shown in your posts, but the letter you wrote her as well.

 

For whatever reason you do seem to believe you need her and there's nothing about respect in the way you treat one another, literally nothing.

 

It's almost like you have this idea of what you think a relationship should be (you've got some right ideas) but it's one of those things where you know with one part of your brain, and yet you do the exact opposite.

 

You might be able to keep buying her attention if you throw more money at her, is that what you want to hear? Because it's probably the only chance you really have at this point, and even that seems to be losing it's pull on her.

[hoping2heal]

I made her like this.

When we met, she was very, very vulnerable, eager to please, submissive and unsure of herself. Needed my assurance and validation that she was loved and cared about by someone. Now she is quite cocky and confident but she doesn't give me any credit in terms of building her up. Says she had it in her all along.

Still, my question is, why would she even have bothered to update me? If she doesn't want me thinking of her or want me to move on she shouldn't have written me and she knows me well enough to know that.

 

I want her back. I Do not care if she is bad for me. I want her back.

 

Honestly? It sounds like she contacted you to tell her so you wouldn't be trying to contact her all of the time asking about it. That's the impression I get from the line "don't text me please. I'll contact you."

 

But, how do you know she's being openly sexual with other guys and talking to ones with lots of money?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Tell me what to do then to not ruin hope of a future reconciliation.

If she contacts me by phone or skype tonight, what should I do? How should I act? What should we talk about?

Suppose she wants to hear my views on things as far as us? She did say the next time we talk we will discuss it.

 

I actually feel much stronger from talking to other women and getting their attention. It has not made me want her less, actualy more, and I way her back, but I do not need her back anymore. I want her back but ion respectful grounds.

 

There are things like sending that e-mail you wrote lol. I think keeping contact is going to be your downfall overall. She hold ALL the cards. She says jump, you say how high. Is that healthy?

 

I think you should be busy.....literally ACTUALLY be busy, not just say you are. Go out and do things that usually make you happy. Sure, you might lose some interest of those things because of heartbreak, but just keep doing it. You'll feel better and have a strong notion of what you really want to do. That will be a while from now. Your mind is WAYYYY too clouded right now.

 

If you want my opinion, I'd walk. DONT TALK TO HER. Literally tell her your busy and actually go be busy. She is saying a LOT of things but no real actions. What she is doing speaks more volumes. Take it at face value. She left because she is done. If she REALLY wants to be with you, then she'll move mountains and make it clear.Sadly, I dont think that will ever happen.

[Sgt. Pepper]

Honestly? It sounds like she contacted you to tell her so you wouldn't be trying to contact her all of the time asking about it. That's the impression I get from the line "don't text me please. I'll contact you."

 

But, how do you know she's being openly sexual with other guys and talking to ones with lots of money?

 

I haven't talked to her or tried to contact her in any way in two days. The last time we spoke, she left it as that we'd discuss things on Thursday or Friday with her claiming we will get through this IF I give her space to figure things out.

Her line about texting is because as she puts it usually when she gets me an ing I take a marathon. So I guess she's giving me an inch by contactin me and asking me to please not take a mile.

 

I have my ways of knowing.

 

As to the guy right above me, I do not want to walk.

Thing is, my emotional state has been whip lashing terribly. At times I feel desperate and want to beg for her back. At others I feel like whatever, I don't need her and I feel very confident and peaceful. At times I feel intensely remorseful and sad over this situation, at others I feel angry toward her and myself. My emotions have been very turbulent.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I haven't talked to her or tried to contact her in any way in two days. The last time we spoke, she left it as that we'd discuss things on Thursday or Friday with her claiming we will get through this IF I give her space to figure things out.

Her line about texting is because as she puts it usually when she gets me an ing I take a marathon. So I guess she's giving me an inch by contactin me and asking me to please not take a mile.

 

I have my ways of knowing.

 

As to the guy right above me, I do not want to walk.

Thing is, my emotional state has been whip lashing terribly. At times I feel desperate and want to beg for her back. At others I feel like whatever, I don't need her and I feel very confident and peaceful. At times I feel intensely remorseful and sad over this situation, at others I feel angry toward her and myself. My emotions have been very turbulent.

 

Well sadly bro, you dont have that option anymore. All you can do is that. You are going to ruin ANY chance (its VERY small at this point) of her ever wanting to get back with you. Her actions say "I dont want it anymore"

 

This "space" thing is such bulls***. I smell it from here. I can tell you what i really think, but that wont change your mind. Honestly, you need to NOT talk to her. Honestly, DO....NOT....TAlK.....TO....HER

[Sgt. Pepper]

Honestly? It sounds like she contacted you to tell her so you wouldn't be trying to contact her all of the time asking about it. That's the impression I get from the line "don't text me please. I'll contact you."

 

But, how do you know she's being openly sexual with other guys and talking to ones with lots of money?

 

Well sadly bro, you dont have that option anymore. All you can do is that. You are going to ruin ANY chance (its VERY small at this point) of her ever wanting to get back with you. Her actions say "I dont want it anymore"

 

This "space" thing is such bulls***. I smell it from here. I can tell you what i really think, but that wont change your mind. Honestly, you need to NOT talk to her. Honestly, DO....NOT....TAlK.....TO....HER

 

Tell me what you really think.

How will not talking to her increase the chance of a future reconciliation? That sounds to me more like giving up and acting disinterested, which will just push her away further.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Tell me what you really think.

How will not talking to her increase the chance of a future reconciliation? That sounds to me more like giving up and acting disinterested, which will just push her away further.

 

Yeah...it always seems like those who are in the fray. Honestly, she knows how you feel. If you keep pressing it, you seem really needy and clingy. That is NOT attractive to anyone. She left for a real reason. Whatever that reason is will be hers and hers alone. She can tell you 900 things about what it is or why she left, but only she will know why. Being able to stand on your own two feet and move forward is the only way she might possibly realize that she made a mistake. SHE has to make the choice of what she wants to do. You keep being present and pushing her towards a resolution wont get you there. It doesnt sound like the right idea, but it is.

 

You cant change anyones mind. She knows already how you feel...ALL the rest is on her. Again, its a two way street. This whole "If you give me space, (this or that) will happen" sounds like "After I explore ALL my options and all of them dont work out, I'll settle to come back to you until something better comes along." If she really had STRONG feelings for you and wanted to be with you, she wouldnt be saying these things. It sounds like other factors or people are in the picture. Just my .02

[mtnbiker3000]

Tell me what you really think.

How will not talking to her increase the chance of a future reconciliation?

 

Give her something to miss. To wonder what you're doing. Wonder if you've moved on. What girls you might be talking to / dating.

 

If you're constantly in contact with her, she can't possibly feel what its like to not have you around. And if that makes her disinterested, then that's what the universe has in mind and ain't nothin' you can do about it!!

[Natsume21]

If she doesn't call within a well I'm going to write her this. If she does call in gnr to have her read it.

 

'After looking at hundreds of girls and talking to dozens it's only strengthened my knowing that you are it. Our relationship is it. You are the one for me and I for you. Some girls might be more intellectual, more tolerant, more open about their feelings. Other guys are more lighter hearted, funnier, laid back. But they wouldn't get me like you do and they wouldn't get you like I do. My knowledge, my snooping, had only made me know you more, love you more. But this relationship is us. It's home. It's what we've fought and lived for a year. No pretense no bull****. You don't have to lie to me to impress me anymore like you do with others, and I know every dirty secret, every lie, every flaw, your moral failings and I accept you and it. And still respect you. And I won't ask anymore questions, dig or pry of you or your secrets if we remain together. But we've both got some growing up to do. I need to get my **** together for you. Job wise, career, need to be less attached to you. You need to be more cfortable with yourself, open with your feelings, drop your pretenses, and become truly ready for this level of commitment. You're going to need to drop your materialism because love isn't material. Those guys offer more fun and more money, objects, things. I offer you real love and, with patience, all the things material that you want. You're a gold digger inside and I respect it and it's always turned me on about you. You're Scarlet O'Hara. You're not the most moral of people despite your claims to being godly, and you know it inside. You might believe in God, but it's paper thin for you; part of your persona, and you have several of those. You like to build an image, several, you don't really know who you are and you rewrite your history and your story. We're two terrible people, my dear, and we deserve each other's company, and more to the point, we need it. Normalcy doesn't make sense deep down within for either of us. On the surface level for you, but you're not as honest with yourself as I am. You're likely a pathological liar, my love. I'm a goddamn sentimental sap who can't truly lie for anything. Yin and Yang. Emotional and cold. Lie and truth. Me and you. Us. You're so afraid deep down within to confront yourself and your own immorality. That's why you cut yourself and tried to kill yourself at the heart of it. You deep down have always hated yourself but I've boosted your ego and self confidence through the roof. You know all you want out of a relationship is a glorified sugar daddy, always been that way, but you'll never truly admit it to yourself. You want to be taken care of and pampered, being given material things feels like love to you. You're spoiled, but not a brat. You're deliciously wicked and I love you for it. I'm Rhett and you're Scarlett. Only I've been so weak and unmanly and pathetic toward you that you have no respect. But you will again. Im not going to submit to you anymore or tap dance or be all feminine with that stupid cute voice.

 

Explore a little and you'll eventually realize what I know, that we were made for each other. I propose we stay together, but we become much more casual, perhaps an open relationship, open but honest about others. No lies, no more miscommunication or secrecy. No more kid ****, no basing our relationship around watching tv shows. we have to grow up. The future doesnt wait.. We stick to the plans we've made as far as living together and slowly work to rebuilding our relationship and your respect for me. And that's how it is. Take it or leave.

 

Try lying to others about huge facts about yourself, like you did with me, see how others take that. See how others take your lies. Not as well as me. There's only one me. And I'm not like anybody else, for good and ill. Take it or leave it.'

 

That's it, I'm stepping in.

 

What, is WRONG WITH YOU? You don't know a damn thing about women! This is probably one of the most pathetic posts I have ever seen. However, I was in your position, so I understand how you feel.

 

Judging by the way you are describing, your desperate attempt at getting her back and settling for less than you want seems to be a direct result of her making you feel emasculated.

 

You seem extremely focused on these guys' wealth. This is how I know that 1. This is just your ego being pricked at. 2. You don't know jack about women.

 

Why? Wealth doesn't mean a damn thing to a lot of women. I know, I'm more broke than you(zero money in the bank right now) and I got girls coming to ME. Is it a lot of girls? It's not 20 or 50 but it's 4 or 5 and trust me, that's pretty impressive.

 

If a woman likes you enough, she'll spend money for your company. Trust me, it works for me. Gender roles are only society-based, but do not influence feelings. Actions and personality do. This is CRUCIAL for you to know. Money won't keep a woman. So it ain't their money she is attracted to, however she may be attracted to the certain lifestyle and mannerism they have. Or should I say "confidence." And bro, you're seriously LACKING that in the department. Judging from what you say about this girl, why would you seek out a relationship from someone who clearly isn't relationship material? Judging from what you say about her, she should have been a fwb and nothing more. You're doing this to yourself. Hell, she doesn't want you. Good riddance, chick wasn't Kim Kardashian anyway.

 

Dude, you need to learn to be happy with WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON. Or more importantly, learn about how women work, and just for the record, don't listen to most women, they will only tell you what you want to hear(with the exceptional few that you might find on this forum)...listen to the men who have experienced them and have been successful with them. You'll find that "confidence" and "positivity" are the main factors that helps them, not money or wealth, as that usually attracts the gold-diggers and the shallow women, and you don't want those in a relationship now, do you? The idea is to work with what you got, that's the true test of confidence.

 

Were you raised in a single parent household where the mother was the care-taker? If you were, that may explain your conceptions about women. Your mother's head was in the right place, I assure you, but unfortunately, she was only telling you what women want to be attracted to, not what they actually are attracted to.

 

Most importantly, stop this. All of this, all of what you've been doing for the past 11 pages. Please, for the love of all that is holy, GET A GRIP. You're not a savior, you're not her knight in shining armor, this is reality. And reality is, you need to appeal to a woman's sexual instinct, not some crazy idea of a fairy tale meant to get parents to give them money to entertain kids. It doesn't work that way in real life.

 

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" so you'll know that you don't have to be a jerk to get women, but rather, not be affected by them leaving. Women can SMELL weakness. Learn to say "No" when they want you to do something you don't want to do. Learn when to hold and when to fold, and most importantly.

 

Stop being so much of a giver. Trust me. I was like you once, I gave all of my money and savings to my ex. Now look at me, I lost my money and she ended up with another guy who plays and cheats on her.

 

I'd say good riddance, but it took me months to realize how huge of a bullet I dodged. And it was a painful 4 months of healing and no contact to get to that point.

 

I wrote a letter too, and then I scrapped it. She wasn't worth my words anymore. Not only was she not my girlfriend anymore, she isn't and never was a real friend of mine.

 

Stop being such a damn doormat cause you think if you stand up for yourself they'll walk away.

 

I pulled this stunt on a girl I was friends with for 9 months. I liked her but thought she was into someone else. I went cold contact for a whole month without as much as a word, or a way for her to contact me...you'd think she'd move on easily, right?

 

Nope, while I was living life and keeping other options, she ended up missing me and sending me messages like crazy.

 

So when I contacted her, next thing I knew, she asked me out on a date, saying that I was being a jerk for ignoring her!

 

But it got me the date I always wanted.

 

Seems counterintuitive, right? Well the fact that she was surrounded with attention and I didn't give it to her as easily as she'd like, I became the elephant in the room, but when I spoke, I rarely seem depressed. I just kept a smile, did a little flirting, and made it clear by my actions that I would never settle for being friends. The minute she mentioned a "date" I went complete ghost, but not after telling her "Congrats."

 

What you're doing right now is not going to appeal to her emotions. Hate to say it but you already burned this bridge. Trust me, this is one bridge you'll be glad to burn. Focus on your healing, and if it helps, talk to as MANY women as possible. The more experience you have, the more chances of success you can get.

 

It's a numbers game. Out of 100 or 1,000 women you talk to, one of them is bound to be interested in you, and that could serve as an ego boost.

 

So please, kill this thread, bro, end this charade, and now, it's time to reset your brain. Cause reality is coming at you hard and if you don't face it, you won't survive. This chick is damaged goods and no longer worth the time or energy you put into it.

 

And find what you're good at and use it.

 

I'm funny and a great listener...I can make a woman feel good(though that works on most, but not all. But hey, numbers game, remember.) and that compensates for my lack of funds, but proves that I don't need a bunch of green to validate me as a man. And it works for me.

 

I just need me, myself, and I.

 

And you can too.

 

Truth is, bro. You were never a Nice Guy, you're just a weak guy who doesn't demand the respect you deserve.

 

It's about time you killed these sad, pathetic feelings and go out and be a man for a woman who knows what YOU'RE about.

 

But you won't find that woman if you're pining over this chick.

 

It's over. The battle has been lost, but the war is just getting started.

 

SO GO OUT THERE SARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S TIME TO TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I wanna hear positive progress on the minefield of Aphrodite next time we speak, okay?

 

Natsu, out!--Natsume21