Backup, Rebound, or is it Real Love?

[P1nginLOVE]

When his face is swimming in your head again, you need to try to picture him swimming to the open sea.......go now Willy....freee Willyy.....

 

LoL!

It was a good one!

I laughed so hard and I couldn't believe it! A great joke to stard my day! It's 7am here.

[P1nginLOVE]

No you were not, cuz I know you have pretty big confidence

--- LoL ^^x

 

 

Ohhh mannn....i guess we man sometimes are soooooo predictable....lol

You should try to erase all this memory about you and xMM asking you for a massage and a shower....and replace it with DL!!!! ;p maybe you would change your decision then...

---You need to be warned...I'm a very skillful masseuse. Wanna try?

 

 

Uh oh, i smell trouble.....wait.

hmm....i see you handled it quite well! You included him in the cc (wow, didnt expect you would do that), so his W knows how you think of him...good good good! If you can't be honest to eachother, how can you ever be 'friends' right?

--- I guess she was surprised! Can't share the deatils here...but in short...she said I am someone that his H needs to avoid.

 

 

I think nobody could be mad, or blame you for telling the truth...I hope (think) you feel better now. Guess you feel relieved to get this off your chest. Thats a major step forward PL!!! You may be proud of yourself, taking your life in your own hands, instead of waiting around what to come.

---Still feel a bit low...but am gathering my sanity. I have to, for my son. ^^

And today I can work, though still not 100% efficient...

I asked some of the ladies in LS yesterday...and got a lot of great support and insights from them! Like talking with my own sisters!!! I really love this place! #bigggghuuuugggggto LS#

 

I can but I told you i am patient... ....I'll try to up the post count...so don't worry. Cant help to say this....you sound so cute...

---I am cute...thanks

 

So...I hope you're having a good night sleep there ^^

[Decipleoflove]

---You need to be warned...I'm a very skillful masseuse. Wanna try?

Oh really...? hehe hm...Man should be so lucky to have a woman that is also good in giving massage. Sure, i'm in..... i trust your skills....one note beforehand...we might change roles right after...i'm a quick learner...so be carefull what you teach me ;p When its your turn...you'll have to lay down...and i'll be DM...DecipleofMassage lol see who is the better...don't worry...i'm gentle.

 

--- I guess she was surprised! Can't share the deatils here...but in short...she said I am someone that his H needs to avoid.

 

Was she respectful to you? Guess you need to let it rest for a few days.

 

---Still feel a bit low...but am gathering my sanity. I have to, for my son. ^^

And today I can work, though still not 100% efficient...

I asked some of the ladies in LS yesterday...and got a lot of great support and insights from them! Like talking with my own sisters!!! I really love this place! #bigggghuuuugggggto LS#

It's a great place for answers and support, i like it here, but don't want to hang here for too long, i mean if we stay here in this section too long, that means we haven't recovered yet

 

I can but I told you i am patient... ....I'll try to up the post count...so don't worry. Cant help to say this....you sound so cute...

---I am cute...thanks

hehe

 

So...I hope you're having a good night sleep there ^^

Thanks! i had a okay night sleep, still a little rusty though. I could use some holiday now, relaxing, enjoying the sun, beach/swimmingpool, the cool breeze, food/bbq, and having fun......and not having any worries on my mind. Wouldn't that be great? Wanna join? I guess this should be on the list for speeding up the healing/recovery, cuz this might work therapeutic.

[fellini]

Seems to me a very high percentage of people lay claim to the fact that they have met their soul mate. That would be great if it were even remotely true.

 

And just where do ALL THESE PEOPLE meet their soul mates?

At work. Imagine that. I met my soul mate at work. (It's true, some people went to their high school reunions and met their soul mates on the dance floor).

 

You have to wonder about the incredible luck people have MEETING their soul mates JUST in the places where they spend more than half their waking life, and definitely in a place out of ear shot and eye sight of their SO.

 

Maybe people are lazy, and they just let work bring them together. But really - thinking such strong feelings about someone you happen to see in the elevator every day, or on the shop floor, or at weekly meetings. Ask yourself what is REALLY going on with you, not with the cutie across the table.

 

So make a list of all the features of this SYT sitting across from you at work:

 

She smells nice.

She has a nice smile.

I like her laugh.

She looks at me and makes me feel good.

She isn't crazy.

She isn't ugly.

She isn't loud, she isn't too quiet.

She likes the movies I like (How RARE!!!)

 

Pfff. You just described almost all available women, but you have to choose one that isn't even remotely available. Keep asking yourself why.

Edited May 21, 2014 by fellini

[P1nginLOVE]

Oh really...? hehe hm...Man should be so lucky to have a woman that is also good in giving massage. Sure, i'm in..... i trust your skills....one note beforehand...we might change roles right after...i'm a quick learner...so be carefull what you teach me ;p When its your turn...you'll have to lay down...and i'll be DM...DecipleofMassage lol see who is the better...don't worry...i'm gentle.

 

 

 

Was she respectful to you? Guess you need to let it rest for a few days.

 

 

It's a great place for answers and support, i like it here, but don't want to hang here for too long, i mean if we stay here in this section too long, that means we haven't recovered yet

 

hehe

 

 

Thanks! i had a okay night sleep, still a little rusty though. I could use some holiday now, relaxing, enjoying the sun, beach/swimmingpool, the cool breeze, food/bbq, and having fun......and not having any worries on my mind. Wouldn't that be great? Wanna join? I guess this should be on the list for speeding up the healing/recovery, cuz this might work therapeutic.

 

Yup...lucky!

 

She of course was not. She was really angry...and even angrier when I poijnted out that I just wanted to be friends.

Am wondering, should I fwd our emails exchanges where her H kept on asking me to resume our A?

 

I like lingering here as I'm making new friends....maybe for me it'd take ages to be fully recovered.... sigghhhhhhh.

 

I def agree with you! Maybe you should come and visit me! ^^ there are many beautiful beaches here!

 

Had a 5-hour of rest! And for me...the nightmare isn't over! Darnnnn!

Edited May 22, 2014 by P1nginLOVE

[Decipleoflove]

She of course was not. She was really angry...and even angrier when I poijnted out that I just wanted to be friends.

Am wondering, should I fwd our emails exchanges where her H kept on asking me to resume our A?

Jeezz, she should be more angry to her H, if only she knew right? :s maybe thats also her reason to contact you to find out more.

But this is really complicated. You need to ask yourself what you really want out of this.

 

You can't control her anger, but you can stop fueling it. You can keep it short and firm, that it is her choice to believe in it or not, that you have nothing more to say to her, than what you have disclosed to her.

 

If you forward those emails to her, you'll risk being 'friends' with your xMM in the future. I think he will lose trust in you (well, guess what, he aint so trustworthy either), or you tell him before hand that you are going to forward it to his W, because you are fed up telling/keeping lies, or living in a lie, and you want to come clean and move on (as 'friend'). I dont know. What a dillemma...

 

There is also one other thing that is missing in all of this, you two quarreling, while the 'Object of Desire' is left out. xMM should be right in the middle of this, and he should tell what he wants, if for example he wants both of you, so he keeps on being egoistical, he'll risk losing you both, that's his call. If he wants the same as you PL, you stay 'friends' with him and his W being ok with it (will she?), than thats good for all. If not, than someone needs be willing to walk out of all of this, and safe the drama.

 

If i were you, i would have walked out (i did in my situation). But you can try the road of being his 'friend'. But you will be in trouble with his W, if she doesn't accept this. Ask yourself if xMM is really worth it for al this drama :/

 

I like lingering here as I'm making new friends....maybe for me it'd take ages to be fully recovered.... sigghhhhhhh.

Don't give up, be strong and disciplined. I am sure you can shorten the recovery time, it's possible. You have to keep believing in it and in your own abilities. Keep remembering that Love is a choice and that indifference kills Love. And our hypnotise thingy? Follow Dr's recepy you're a good girl.

 

I def agree with you! Maybe you should come and visit me! ^^ there are many beautiful beaches here!

Are there Palmtrees? hehe what's the weather outthere now? here it has been great the past few days, sunny and warm.

 

Had a 5-hour of rest! And for me...the nightmare isn't over! Darnnnn!

Don't rush things. Take a break when you feel like it. Eat & drink healthy. Try to stay positive, you are seeing the light in the end of the tunnel. Keep walking to the light. Everything will fall in to place. You just need to do what is right. We all make mistakes, we all failed in one point in life, the question is, how do you cope with it, that make you stand out, you have already grown as a human being, you have accepted the reality, give it your best shot of 'resolving' the issues, if it doesn't work out as you have envisioned, be willing to accept it, and let go. Only then you'll be able to move on.

Edited May 22, 2014 by Decipleoflove

[P1nginLOVE]

I didn't emaail her of course! I never want to hurt her!

 

I emailed him today, saying my gbye. He replied...hhe wanted to meet up to clear some matters.

I said no.

I told him I was foolingmyself by the thought that we could be friends. N I said it's best not to meet up.

So....I'm feeling flat right now....happy n relieved 75% sad n anxious 25%!

A bit feeling liberated.

 

There are many palm trees here hehe...it's 29° everyday!

It rained cats and dogs this afternoon, and this city is well known by its traffic jam,,,it took me an hour to get home by taxi this evening!

 

Don't rush things. Take a break when you feel like it. Eat & drink healthy. Try to stay positive, you are seeing the light in the end of the tunnel. Keep walking to the light. Everything will fall in to place. You just need to do what is right. We all make mistakes, we all failed in one point in life, the question is, how do you cope with it, that make you stand out, you have already grown as a human being, you have accepted the reality, give it your best shot of 'resolving' the issues, if it doesn't work out as you have envisioned, be willing to accept it, and let go. Only then you'll be able to move on.

----Thank you...you've helped me alot. Not everyone would be willing to be a lending ear! Glad I joined LS!

You Doctor L, is a healer by nature!

Gbu! Huggggsss!

Edited May 22, 2014 by P1nginLOVE

[Decipleoflove]

I didn't email her of course! I never want to hurt her!

She is already hurt being married to such a man....i think you should be happy that you are not his W, and have to deal with al this drama from her Point of view. You can walk away more easy than her. Let your xMM solve his mess by himself. It's about time he takes responsibility!

 

I emailed him today, saying my gbye. He replied...hhe wanted to meet up to clear some matters.

I said no.

I told him I was foolingmyself by the thought that we could be friends. N I said it's best not to meet up.

So....I'm feeling flat right now....happy n relieved 75% sad n anxious 25%!

A bit feeling liberated.

I'm happy for you that you have cleared your mind, and doing what's best for YOU.(Y)

 

----Thank you...you've helped me alot. Not everyone would be willing to be a lending ear! Glad I joined LS!

You Doctor L, is a healer by nature!

Gbu! Huggggsss!

 

Thank you...you did most of the work yourself though! I knew you could do it. Just didn't expect so soon, you did a major leap. Guess you were just as fed up dealing with all of this in your mind 24/7. We make a great team together don't you think? ;p

 

There are many palm trees here hehe...it's 29° everyday!

It rained cats and dogs this afternoon, and this city is well known by its traffic jam,,,it took me an hour to get home by taxi this evening!

 

Palmtrees...29C everyday...you must live in a paradise? I'm going to live there! That's one special place....so many pets coming out of the heaven! hehe Oh jeee.....you sure the taxidriver wasn't driving circles? guess he thought you were too cute? lol hugssssss

Edited May 23, 2014 by Decipleoflove

[P1nginLOVE]

She is already hurt being married to such a man....i think you should be happy that you are not his W, and have to deal with al this drama from her Point of view. You can walk away more easy than her. Let your xMM solve his mess by himself. It's about time he takes responsibility!

 

 

I'm happy for you that you have cleared your mind, and doing what's best for YOU.(Y)

 

 

 

Thank you...you did most of the work yourself though! I knew you could do it. Just didn't expect so soon, you did a major leap. Guess you were just as fed up dealing with all of this in your mind 24/7. We make a great team together don't you think? ;p

 

 

 

Palmtrees...29C everyday...you must live in a paradise? I'm going to live there! That's one special place....so many pets coming out of the heaven! hehe Oh jeee.....you sure the taxidriver wasn't driving circles? guess he thought you were too cute? lol hugssssss

 

 

I know....aren't I lucky for not being his W?

 

I didn't make a big leap. She forced me too.

He couldn't let me go....but last night....in my last email...I said things that I knew would hurt his ego.

He didn't reply anymore...it's been 24 hours since his last email, so....I guess my wordss were bull's eye!

 

At times....I still miss him...but I hope the love (and lust) fade away fast!

 

My country is paradise...one of the beautiful reefs in the world is here. And there are millions of friendly people like moi ^^ the weather is always warm and so the people.

[Decipleoflove]

I know....aren't I lucky for not being his W?

 

I didn't make a big leap. She forced me too.

He couldn't let me go....but last night....in my last email...I said things that I knew would hurt his ego.

He didn't reply anymore...it's been 24 hours since his last email, so....I guess my wordss were bull's eye!

 

At times....I still miss him...but I hope the love (and lust) fade away fast!

 

My country is paradise...one of the beautiful reefs in the world is here. And there are millions of friendly people like moi ^^ the weather is always warm and so the people.

 

Yep, there is a famous saying here "Each negative has a positive".

 

Sometimes life is that unpredictable, you were forced to deal with the emotions, while you were not 'ready yet in your mind, because you probably wanted it to end in an ideal & comfortable safe way, and/or you were not yet fully ready yet to let everything go. So ina way, she confronting you to make a decision/step is a blessing for you, Cuz this speeds up your process to recover. I had similar experience when I was 'forced' to deal with the emotions I felt (I did not chose it myself) when I picked up the conversation from the co-worker about them going on holiday together. That day was the day I came back on earth with my two feet on the ground.

 

Do you expect or hope he will contact you again? Or do you not care anymore?

 

It will certainly take some time to lose the feeling of love &lust for him.

So try to be strong and keep following that path to the end of the tunnel. There will be something more beautiful awaiting there for you.

Edited May 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[P1nginLOVE]

Yep, there is a famous saying here "Each negative has a positive".

 

Sometimes life is that unpredictable, you were forced to deal with the emotions, while you were not 'ready yet in your mind, because you probably wanted it to end in an ideal & comfortable safe way, and/or you were not yet fully ready yet to let everything go. So ina way, she confronting you to make a decision/step is a blessing for you, Cuz this speeds up your process to recover. I had similar experience when I was 'forced' to deal with the emotions I felt (I did not chose it myself) when I picked up the conversation from the co-worker about them going on holiday together. That day was the day I came back on earth with my two feet on the ground.

 

Do you expect or hope he will contact you again? Or do you not care anymore?

 

It will certainly take some time to lose the feeling of love &lust for him.

So try to be strong and keep following that path to the end of the tunnel. There will be something more beautiful awaiting there for you.

 

 

She did ruin my friendship plan.

Hh....would like to fwd her emails to you...but maybe it's time to burry things inside. I guess....from the ways she described her H, my xMM tried his best to make hersuffer. I've never seen his mean and ugly side, but I always knew he's selfish...so maybe he does treat her that mean bche knows she'll never leave. I told him to be gentle with her, hope he'll listen.

 

I know...you did say your expotential mate went on a holiday and that you knew it from someone else....I guess your world fell apart,, didn't it?

 

I can't lie...I hope he'll contact me...but I know that he does miss me...proven from the things his W described about his behavior at home...the changes she spotted during the period we resumed the A and then became friends. I guess me not showing up and NC for a week (after his bday) frustrated him and my rejections made him mad but he took it on her.

Knowing this in a way comforted me, that at least I did impact his M and he sure did want me badly by his side.

So...yes...I miss him....but I must keep on listening to my consciousness that I've made her suffer...that I indirectly made her feel tortured everyday.

I want him to contact me, but I'm sure I'll go on off again as before bc my consciousness will always condamn me, so...even if he does contact me again, I'll repeat the on off pattern. He's all aware of that...so...I'm not sure he will drop me an email or things like that.

 

I hope we both can stay away from eachother for good.

Edited May 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[A.Moscote]

Oh btw, it's a good move by you PL, one step away from the xMM now. Let it be a bit harsh for him, deserves it for trapping you. Keep it up, and be patience bracing through the emotion, it will all fade away gradually.

Congrats, good luck.

Edited May 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Decipleoflove]

She did ruin my friendship plan.

I bet she wants you entirely out of her and her H life, which is understandable. If she still loves her H, she will fight for & defend their M.

Things can get nasty. You won't be always lucky to have a understanding BW, some of them freak out and get crazy and are looking for revenge, eventhough it was not your fault, to some of them it makes no difference, they will not be reasonable, so be careful okay? It's not a game.

 

So those emails from your xMM, can be a safety net for you when things get out of hand. You can always decide to send it to her, if she doesnt believe you and keeps bothering/harrassing you.

 

Hh....would like to fwd her emails to you...but maybe it's time to burry things inside. I guess....from the ways she described her H, my xMM tried his best to make hersuffer. I've never seen his mean and ugly side, but I always knew he's selfish...so maybe he does treat her that mean bche knows she'll never leave. I told him to be gentle with her, hope he'll listen.

its up to you. if you want me to look at it, i can give you my opinion.

Why did your xMM try his best to make her suffer?? Do you mean his character is like that? I know a few Taurus man in my life (little brother and some colleagues), i find them sometimes hard to deal with hehe, they can be hot tempered quite quickly, and tend to be stubborn and listening to themselves (ego). what i tend to do is to let them cool down a bit, and then i will try to get my message across again, or if they are unreasonable, ill retreat and let them have it their way as long they take the full responsibility of their own decisions/actions, im fine with it, or i sighhhh and say 'whatever' and walk out, shaking my head, if they don't listen. They can be mean indeed, maybe not to you, because you don't see him 24/7.

 

I know...you did say your expotential mate went on a holiday and that you knew it from someone else....I guess your world fell apart,, didn't it?

World fell apart earlier, when i found out xPm had an A with the coworker, and was still in it. The last push/straw was me hearing the coworker talk with others that xPm and he were going on a holiday. I was just starting to avoid her, but was still thinking about her now and then (still clouded mind then). But the cloud dissappeared, and i could see the harsh reality right then. I smiled cynically (because of how life treated me this way), and told to myself, okay lets stop this nonsense. Suck it up and move on. So i continued what i planned to do -> getting her out of my system.

 

I saw her twice this week, one time we crossed pathes, we just greeted, she smiled, but i didn't smile back, whats the point? 2nd time i accidentally looked into her eyes for a second, because my path was blocked by some other coworker, so i had to wait, while waiting, i turned my head sideways and 10 meters away there she was working behind the table, and she looked up, and our eyes met for a sec. She looked down, and i turned my head back, and could continue walking my path, cuz my path was free again. After that moment, she was running through my mind a bit again...but i found it quite annoying, because i was doing my best to get rid of her in my mind and now i fell back because of that slight moment? nahhh....i wont let that happen....so im glad it was not for long. Actually when i do think of her i do not have fantasies about her, i will just be calm, it has little to no effect on me anymore. I guess i managed to block her inside me. This should have been the way all along, before all this started. If i knew she was already in a relationship, things would never gotten so far in the first place.

 

 

I can't lie...I hope he'll contact me...but I know that he does miss me...proven from the things his W described about his behavior at home...the changes she spotted during the period we resumed the A and then became friends. I guess me not showing up and NC for a week (after his bday) frustrated him and my rejections made him mad but he took it on her.

Knowing this in a way comforted me, that at least I did impact his M and he sure did want me badly by his side.

So...yes...I miss him....but I must keep on listening to my consciousness that I've made her suffer...that I indirectly made her feel tortured everyday.

I want him to contact me, but I'm sure I'll go on off again as before bc my consciousness will always condamn me, so...even if he does contact me again, I'll repeat the on off pattern. He's all aware of that...so...I'm not sure he will drop me an email or things like that.

 

I hope we both can stay away from eachother for good.

I hope he'll contact you to give full closure, so you can move on, and not trying to get you back in the mess that he has caused. If he tries, you must ask yourself the question, do you want to be his 3rd W? I have no sympathy for your xMM, his lifestyle is not my lifestyle, and i don't understand why such a guy Marries anyway....seems like its nothing, and has no meaning. Maybe if you talk to him, ask him this, see what he says.

Edited May 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[P1nginLOVE]

 

Oh btw, it's a good move by you PL, one step away from the xMM now. Let it be a bit harsh for him, deserves it for trapping you. Keep it up, and be patience bracing through the emotion, it will all fade away gradually.

Congrats, good luck.

 

 

 

I hope it will fade away soon. So I can move on and be a smarter woman.

 

Last night I dreamed I was dancing on stage, he was there among the audience. It felt strange...bc i knew i was dreaming, maybe it was a lucid dream. Maybe it's a way my head wants to convey that I'm hurt and I want to tell him....but I know I cannot tell him this in the real life, as he'll try to comfort and manipulate me again....so in my dream, when I realized I was like in dancing school, I told to myself to perform. Anyways, it was a sad slow dance and he was there. Watching. The end.

Edited May 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[William]

As a reminder, discussion of member's specific locations publicly is off-topic and a violation of our anonymity guidelines. Some editing was performed. Please continue discussion of the topic. Thanks!

[P1nginLOVE]

I bet she wants you entirely out of her and her H life, which is understandable. If she still loves her H, she will fight for & defend their M.

Things can get nasty. You won't be always lucky to have a understanding BW, some of them freak out and get crazy and are looking for revenge, eventhough it was not your fault, to some of them it makes no difference, they will not be reasonable, so be careful okay? It's not a game.

 

So those emails from your xMM, can be a safety net for you when things get out of hand. You can always decide to send it to her, if she doesnt believe you and keeps bothering/harrassing you.

 

 

its up to you. if you want me to look at it, i can give you my opinion.

Why did your xMM try his best to make her suffer?? Do you mean his character is like that? I know a few Taurus man in my life (little brother and some colleagues), i find them sometimes hard to deal with hehe, they can be hot tempered quite quickly, and tend to be stubborn and listening to themselves (ego). what i tend to do is to let them cool down a bit, and then i will try to get my message across again, or if they are unreasonable, ill retreat and let them have it their way as long they take the full responsibility of their own decisions/actions, im fine with it, or i sighhhh and say 'whatever' and walk out, shaking my head, if they don't listen. They can be mean indeed, maybe not to you, because you don't see him 24/7.

 

 

World fell apart earlier, when i found out xPm had an A with the coworker, and was still in it. The last push/straw was me hearing the coworker talk with others that xPm and he were going on a holiday. I was just starting to avoid her, but was still thinking about her now and then (still clouded mind then). But the cloud dissappeared, and i could see the harsh reality right then. I smiled cynically (because of how life treated me this way), and told to myself, okay lets stop this nonsense. Suck it up and move on. So i continued what i planned to do -> getting her out of my system.

 

I saw her twice this week, one time we crossed pathes, we just greeted, she smiled, but i didn't smile back, whats the point? 2nd time i accidentally looked into her eyes for a second, because my path was blocked by some other coworker, so i had to wait, while waiting, i turned my head sideways and 10 meters away there she was working behind the table, and she looked up, and our eyes met for a sec. She looked down, and i turned my head back, and could continue walking my path, cuz my path was free again. After that moment, she was running through my mind a bit again...but i found it quite annoying, because i was doing my best to get rid of her in my mind and now i fell back because of that slight moment? nahhh....i wont let that happen....so im glad it was not for long. Actually when i do think of her i do not have fantasies about her, i will just be calm, it has little to no effect on me anymore. I guess i managed to block her inside me. This should have been the way all along, before all this started. If i knew she was already in a relationship, things would never gotten so far in the first place.

 

 

 

I hope he'll contact you to give full closure, so you can move on, and not trying to get you back in the mess that he has caused. If he tries, you must ask yourself the question, do you want to be his 3rd W? I have no sympathy for your xMM, his lifestyle is not my lifestyle, and i don't understand why such a guy Marries anyway....seems like its nothing, and has no meaning. Maybe if you talk to him, ask him this, see what he says.

 

 

I will try to be careful! Won't contact her. I keep all of his emails, just in case!

 

It's almost 6 months ago when she emailed me and told me how he was distant and his behaviour at home. And then 9 months back, when she first discovered about us, her H wanted to explain about what happened, but I didn't want to listen. Afraid that he'd try to convince me with his bs.

It means that he hasn't changed. Maybe he treats her that way bc he has lost the vibe in his M, and my rejections might have fueled it. Maybe I'm hurting his ego by my rejwctions and he took it on her. Our last intimate night was exactly 6 months ago and....he was so obsessed with it. Last month, I told him, he has the money so why don't use it to get him pleased, as I didn't want to be his lover. I don't know did he really do it or not...it's pretty possible that he did.

We had a true special emotionally involved PA last year, where he'd report to me about what he did, where he was, how hungry he was, how tired he was due to work, his stupid staff, etc. He even fired ine of his managers bc I suggested him to. But the stronger the bonding was, the more it scared me. That time, I always thought, if he could cheat on her, it's definite he could cheat on me. So....in Jan, I broke up with him.From jan to March, I cried day n night. ; (

And I don't want to be his W. It's almost impossible to say he wants to marry me. ^^ but it's pretty obvious that he doesn't want to be with his W.

 

I bet your WxPM is a wonderful girl, and she's stupid for not seeing your wonderful traits. I hopee when she's tired with her adventure, she'll come running to you and beg you for your love.

 

My lifestyle is also not like that. I'm monogamous.

I don't know.....I'm ok by the fact that he doesn't contact me anymore. Case closed. Let me retreat and inhale the air while I'm sober.

I will try to PM you and let's discuss other more interesting things!

[Decipleoflove]

I will try to be careful! Won't contact her. I keep all of his emails, just in case!

 

It's almost 6 months ago when she emailed me and told me how he was distant and his behaviour at home. And then 9 months back, when she first discovered about us, her H wanted to explain about what happened, but I didn't want to listen. Afraid that he'd try to convince me with his bs.

It means that he hasn't changed. Maybe he treats her that way bc he has lost the vibe in his M, and my rejections might have fueled it. Maybe I'm hurting his ego by my rejwctions and he took it on her. Our last intimate night was exactly 6 months ago and....he was so obsessed with it. Last month, I told him, he has the money so why don't use it to get him pleased, as I didn't want to be his lover. I don't know did he really do it or not...it's pretty possible that he did.

We had a true special emotionally involved PA last year, where he'd report to me about what he did, where he was, how hungry he was, how tired he was due to work, his stupid staff, etc. He even fired ine of his managers bc I suggested him to. But the stronger the bonding was, the more it scared me. That time, I always thought, if he could cheat on her, it's definite he could cheat on me. So....in Jan, I broke up with him.From jan to March, I cried day n night. ; (

And I don't want to be his W. It's almost impossible to say he wants to marry me. ^^ but it's pretty obvious that he doesn't want to be with his W.

 

I bet your WxPM is a wonderful girl, and she's stupid for not seeing your wonderful traits. I hopee when she's tired with her adventure, she'll come running to you and beg you for your love.

 

My lifestyle is also not like that. I'm monogamous.

I don't know.....I'm ok by the fact that he doesn't contact me anymore. Case closed. Let me retreat and inhale the air while I'm sober.

I will try to PM you and let's discuss other more interesting things!

 

As the look at it, it seems you really have sorted the things out in your mind now you are sober and can think clearly (more conscious). If we rewind the tape we always find things/signs that we ignored, but deep down we knew was not right. It's been a great learning experience. When you finally make the decision to move on, you no longer care about the 'what if's' anymore, that's the beauty of it. At least that's how I experienced it. These 'what if' questions only wastes your time. You'll slowly getting lesser of these questions in your mind as you move on. You might still have headaches though, as I do sometime lol but better than heaving heartaches.

 

Thank you.... I doubt she will ever know me, cause i shut her out, once i shut somebody out, its highly unlikely i will open my heart for them again, i dont know....i think im weird on this part, i certainly will not engage myself, she'll have to convince me I should give her a chance.

I don't see this to happen though.

 

So let's enjoy/celebrate the endings and cheers to the new beginnings! : )

[P1nginLOVE]

As the look at it, it seems you really have sorted the things out in your mind now you are sober and can think clearly (more conscious). If we rewind the tape we always find things/signs that we ignored, but deep down we knew was not right. It's been a great learning experience. When you finally make the decision to move on, you no longer care about the 'what if's' anymore, that's the beauty of it. At least that's how I experienced it. These 'what if' questions only wastes your time. You'll slowly getting lesser of these questions in your mind as you move on. You might still have headaches though, as I do sometime lol but better than heaving heartaches.

 

Thank you.... I doubt she will ever know me, cause i shut her out, once i shut somebody out, its highly unlikely i will open my heart for them again, i dont know....i think im weird on this part, i certainly will not engage myself, she'll have to convince me I should give her a chance.

I don't see this to happen though.

 

So let's enjoy/celebrate the endings and cheers to the new beginnings! : )

 

Trying to keep my mind off him !!!

Trying to remind myself how all of the drama made me lost my integrity.

 

Can't wait to make some big changes in my life

 

I couldn't send you a mssg ;(