He cheated, and I'm taking him back

[SoleMate]

Natsume, you're actually undercutting your points with your extreme harsh rhetoric. ISAF needs to hear from us, not be cut down by or insulted by us.

 

Let's none of us call her names or insult her personally (e.g. slut). Also, the idea that "mistresses" are to be scorned and mocked is cruel, not constructive. Nobody should be scorned or mocked personally. Instead, we should focus on behavior, not personal worth.

 

Even the cheating MM at the heart of this sad story.....his behavior sucks, he's the bad news bears boyfriend to the nth degree, but he's not scum. His behavior is scummy and damaging to all the females around him, but he personally is a human being, not scum.

[Natsume21]

While I understand your point, she seems to resist the idea of the fair, understanding rhetoric.

 

So I'm giving her the harsh reality. It's just my style. It comes from my experience.

 

 

Though I could have been a little nicer about it, I was having a terrible day yesterday.

[Natsume21]

Natsume, you're actually undercutting your points with your extreme harsh rhetoric. ISAF needs to hear from us, not be cut down by or insulted by us.

 

Let's none of us call her names or insult her personally (e.g. slut). Also, the idea that "mistresses" are to be scorned and mocked is cruel, not constructive. Nobody should be scorned or mocked personally. Instead, we should focus on behavior, not personal worth.

 

Even the cheating MM at the heart of this sad story.....his behavior sucks, he's the bad news bears boyfriend to the nth degree, but he's not scum. His behavior is scummy and damaging to all the females around him, but he personally is a human being, not scum.

 

Please tell me you're joking.

 

Sure, I can understand he isn't perfect, no one is.

 

I disagree, cause all mistresses are, are a piece on the side. I've known women that were mistresses, and every single one of them wanted to be their wife. They were MISERABLE, they fell in love with these guys who were already married and sought to make him theirs for life, in the process trying to rid of the wife.

 

I'm not going to sugarcoat things for her sake when it's clear she doesn't seem to get what's going on.

 

She's a mistress, the other woman. She is not THE woman, but she wants to be THE woman.

 

People in her position aren't respected. They are still human, but generally aren't respected, I am simply telling her how people are going to view you. YOU may not see her that way, but the general public will.

 

First things first, they are both at fault, but he's even worse. He's at fault for perpetuation such a huge ruse at the expense of many people's emotions, and now, she's at fault for putting up with it and expecting him to change.

 

And for the record, mistresses who are aware of the man's marriage are, in my book, selfish themselves. Almost all that I've known try to go from mistress to wife. It's saddening.

 

Point of the matter is what she's trying to do is insane. All it's going to lead are more broken hearts and pain. She needs to get some self-respect and leave him.

 

I am on here because I was in her shoes. I let a woman walk all over me thinking giving her another chance would work. It didn't.

 

And for most people on here, they got the same result.

[starryeyedsurprise]

Ummm...anyone watch what is going on with Tori and Dean? Cheating, lying, suicide threaths? Is this really worth the pain and torture of dealing with an emotionally unavailable cheating man? We all thought Dean got smart right? Well look at them now! Tori is in the hospital and having a nervous breakdown.

 

It's not always true that once a cheat is always a cheat, but it's definately more the norm. They both started out as cheaters, and look what happened after 7 years and 4 children together.

 

Let this man go, you will never, and trust me....never trust him again. Fix you because that is the only thing you can control right now. Walk away from him and let it be done. Stop making excuses and listen to the truth. I had to learn the hard way. Mine was also lying and cheating, he was engaged to someone else for months until I found out, making me the other woman. He didn't even give me the chance to decide if I wanted that role.....but guess what, he came back again and again and again. Same Sh$$ different day. They don't change unless they get a lifetime of therapy, and sometimes that doesn't even work.