about this guy's behaviour and actions... eeks...

[Confused298]

Hi all, so I've been lurking here for a while and finally have the courage to start a thread.

 

I just need some advice on this weird thing that's been going on with a guy friend.

 

Background:

He's my older brother's friend whom I've know for some time. Hardly ever see him though except when he's around at our place for lunch or something. I don't see him socially either.

A few months ago, he started texting me and messaging me on social networks. I had a feeling he was flirting all of a sudden but didn't take much notice of it as I didn't think it was possible for him to want to flirt with his friend's sister. Both of us are single. I'm not looking for anything serious at all. I've never been someone who opens up to people or to respond to text flirting or the like. But I felt like doing something spontaneous all of a sudden and after about 3 or 4 months of flirting from this guy. I finally responded to his flirtatious texts and subtly flirted with him through text.

 

A few days ago - we had a whole full day of dirty texting and we were going to meet up that night at his place after he'd finished his plans with his friends. It was going to be a friends with benefit type of night as we both acknowledged that we weren't ready for anything serious. We kept texting that day... and just before he went out with his friends (pre-planned), he said his plans with his friends is going to take longer than expected and he wasn't sure when he was going to be home and didn't want me to wait around. He said there's always another time.

 

I asked him if he was trying to pull out of it - and I was cool with that if he did. He didnt reply until he got home and said he was "second guessing myself" and had a weird day that's made him feel weird about everything.

 

Being the stubborn person I am - and because this was totally out of my ordinary self, I just wanted to get it done with for some reason. So I said to him, I can come over now but of course he didn't reply and next day I initiated it to see if he was still keen and that I could come over that night. He said he wasn't sure what was wrong with him and that he should have "jumped at the chance"... so I told him, he can still jump at the chance if he wanted to. But he said, he has to go to football game with his friends that night and not sure how long they will hang about?! That was another slap in the face again! After I texted him back and said I'm willing to wait this time, he didn't even bother to reply and have not heard from him since. This was a few days ago.

 

I can't help but feel my pride being broken because like I said, I dont normally do this type of stuff - and esp after we'd planned everything, I would've appreciated honesty from him that he just wasn't interested anymore rather than making up lame excuses. I do believe he's a nice guy though and now that he's stirred me up so much on this whole FWB thing - its like now I want what I can't have all of a sudden!

 

Question:

 

Since he didn't reply my last text - should I confront him? I want to ask him to be honest - I can take it I'm a big girl! I hate lame excuses. I did believe he wanted to go through with it up to that "weird" day he had. I want to ask him is it because "forbidden fruit" (in his words) is not so forbidden after all - this was a big ego trip for him to show he can get a "good girl" to rise to his bait? But then I don't want to risk slamming the door shut on this FWB possibility with a confrontation.

 

Should I just wait until he messages me again and then go from there? or should I just text him and ask him?

 

I would really appreciate some feedback. Sorry for the long post!

Edited April 27, 2014 by Confused298

[d0nnivain]

He may have decided that using his buddy's sister for sex isn't the greatest idea in the world. Even if you are OK with it, odds are it will change his relationship with your brother.

[Confused298]

He may have decided that using his buddy's sister for sex isn't the greatest idea in the world. Even if you are OK with it, odds are it will change his relationship with your brother.

 

Thanks for your reply. I thought that may be the case too but we'd agreed that we'd not let anyone know. I guess I just feel bit like pride shattered as I've never done this before and first time I agree to it, I get door slammed in face?

 

Should I just confront him tell him that? And that I don't appreciate excuses or just leave it till he contacts me again? Dun wana end up looking desperate which I'm not but like I said more about pride? Lol.

[Poppyolive]

Your clinginess is making me cringe big time! Move on, find some other fWB. He's dissed you more than one time and you are still persistent.... I'll wait, I'm yours, can I come over now????? Lady these are not attractive qualities even if only for sex. Men like to chase, you're handing it to him on a plate with a selection of side dips...

 

Ever thought that he picked up that night when out? Please stop embarrassing yourself. I'm sure there is so many other men to hook up with.

[Confused298]

Your clinginess is making me cringe big time! Move on, find some other fWB. He's dissed you more than one time and you are still persistent.... I'll wait, I'm yours, can I come over now????? Lady these are not attractive qualities even if only for sex. Men like to chase, you're handing it to him on a plate with a selection of side dips...

 

Ever thought that he picked up that night when out? Please stop embarrassing yourself. I'm sure there is so many other men to hook up with.

 

Lol thanks for that - its definitely something I needed to hear! I am not usually like this but I guess I haven't been myself lately. Your words were exactly what I thought - was just a challenge for him in the beginning as everyone knows I'm a "good girl" dont do this type of fwb thing. Now that he got me to finally agree, hes moved on.

 

What I meant was to confront him - tell him hes an AH? Lol.