yue.ayase Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 So I'm not sure what is making my friend unhappy about me, but she said to me that she needs a break. I asked her a few times what I did wrong, the first time she said she doesn't know. The second time, she said that I'm like a robot and have no emotions and feelings which I don't think it's true. And then today, because we were working on an assignment so I went over to her place. She didn't talk to me at all and it was so awkward. I decided to ask her what's wrong again. This time she just ignored me. I was getting angry. I asked her why did she say we are best friend if she didn't mean it. She said there was something wrong with her when she said that. I didn't know what to say, I was shocked. I then ask her if we are still friends, she said yes. But no matter how many time I ask her what did I do and what is wrong with her, she just say" I don't know, I'm tired of you, I need a break, I don't want to tell you" I respect her and I will give her space and time. But what did I do? I don't understand what to do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 yue.ayase, why on earth would you want to continue to be friends with someone who said this ?; The second time, she said that I'm like a robot and have no emotions and feelings which I don't think it's true. She's not your friend despite what she says. She says she "wants space" so let her have it - permanently. She doesn't deserve your friendship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Potion9 Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 Stay away from her and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yue.ayase Posted April 27, 2014 Author Share Posted April 27, 2014 But the thing is that I still want to keep her as my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 yue.ayase, But the thing is that I still want to keep her as my friend. Why? She doesn't want to continue to be friends with you and she's made that very plain. She's been unkind and disrespectful. You must have a funny idea about what friendship is. You don't need her. IMO what you do need is counselling to find out why you want to be with such a mean person. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yue.ayase Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 Ok, my reason of why I still want to be friends with her is very selfish. But the reason is that I have a lot of lessons with her and she is like my only friend. So I want to do everything to keep her as my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 You need to work on whatever is making it hard for you to have friends. She doesn't want that anymore, no matter what you want. Maybe it's time for some counseling to get an objective opinion about why you have no friends and then work on that. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 (edited) But the thing is that I still want to keep her as my friend. Are you 'just' friends with her or is there romantic feelings happening? When someone asks for space, respect their decision and give them space. IF she plans on ending the friendship for whatever reason (don't know enough details of your situation to know that or not), let her walk away. Ok, my reason of why I still want to be friends with her is very selfish. But the reason is that I have a lot of lessons with her and she is like my only friend. So I want to do everything to keep her as my friend. You can be polite and smile, be nice but that doesn't mean you have to be friends. Edited April 28, 2014 by whichwayisup 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yue.ayase Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 I understand that I need to give her space and I did, for a two whole weeks. I simply don't want to have an awkward relationship with her. Because as I said, I will be a loner if she's not my friend. And it's hard for me to make new friends because everyone have their own little group and I just can't fit in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yue.ayase Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 Maybe I have to make it more clear. I do not know what is making my friend so angry at me. She didn't really tell me what happened. But I know I did something to make her unhappy. And I know it's a feeling that build up. But she DIDN'T tell me what is actually making her upset. She said a lot of times that she needs a break and she's tried, she needs space. I respected her on that. I didn't talk to her or try to contact her for almost two whole weeks. Until one day, I couldn't hold it anymore. I called her and I cried during our conversation. She was really calm though. This is the time when I realized that she is very serious about this problem. Usually, when she gets angry for no reason, I would ask her what's wrong and stuff like that, after a while everything would be fine. But this time, she seems like she really need space. I understand that but I don't get what I did. I mean I must have done something to make her so angry at me. She doesn't want to talk to me but when she is with other people she's perfectly fine. And as you guys said above, maybe I should go find new friends... but it's hard for me. Especially when everyone have their own group of friends, I really can't fit into another group except for the one I'm in right now. Which is basically her friend, her and I. Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Maybe she's not upset about anything you did but maybe it's because she felt like you are too clingy to her. Since she is your only friend, you give her too little room to breathe. Expanding your circle of friends is best for you. You can get a part-time job somewhere, and make new friends with co-workers. As long as you are kind, can enjoy a good laugh, and talkative, you should have no problem making new friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Maybe I have to make it more clear. I do not know what is making my friend so angry at me. She didn't really tell me what happened. But I know I did something to make her unhappy. And I know it's a feeling that build up. But she DIDN'T tell me what is actually making her upset. She said a lot of times that she needs a break and she's tried, she needs space. I respected her on that. I didn't talk to her or try to contact her for almost two whole weeks. Until one day, I couldn't hold it anymore. I called her and I cried during our conversation. She was really calm though. This is the time when I realized that she is very serious about this problem. Usually, when she gets angry for no reason, I would ask her what's wrong and stuff like that, after a while everything would be fine. But this time, she seems like she really need space. I understand that but I don't get what I did. I mean I must have done something to make her so angry at me. She doesn't want to talk to me but when she is with other people she's perfectly fine. And as you guys said above, maybe I should go find new friends... but it's hard for me. Especially when everyone have their own group of friends, I really can't fit into another group except for the one I'm in right now. Which is basically her friend, her and I. Maybe because she feels the pressure of being your ONLY friend. I say that respectfully... You need to put yourself out there and make new friendships, both with guys and girls. Be confident and fun, try to relax and get to know others. Link to post Share on other sites
NoodleNuts Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 She doesn't want to be friends anymore but doesn't know how to break things off cleanly so she is using the "I need a break" line and hoping you will go find a new friend. That is my take on this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yue.ayase Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 I'm not sure why. But for some reason she seems Ok with me again. She didn't explain but I'm not going to bring it up again... Link to post Share on other sites
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