On a break with my girlfriend *not a mutual decision* and truly

[lolablue17]

We both take the train into work every day, at different times however. But we had planned to take certain trains in so we could commute together.

Any tips you all can send my way to cope with this issue? Unfortunately another method of commuting isn't attainable.

 

You don't have to make detailed plans to avoid her. Do what you want to do and nothing more. Especialy try not to think too much about it.

 

If you bump into her from time to time? Well. she is not a serial killer and she'll be embarassed just like you, so just say hi and move on.

 

Listen to me - start dating! this is an order!

Edited April 30, 2014 by lolablue17

[km19]

You don't have to make detailed plans to avoid her. Do what you want to do and nothing more. Especialy try not to think too much about it.

 

If you bump into her from time to time? Well. she is not a serial killer and she'll be embarassed just like you, so just say hi and move on.

 

Listen to me - start dating! this is an order!

 

Dating - that will come in time. This whole thing is too fresh to jump back into it and I've told myself that I won't go for a rebound. I'm taking this breakup to focus on me, put more of an emphasis on my future (ie career). Plus I have too much respect for people to make someone a rebound. I know I would hate to be that person.

 

I really can't wait to get to that point again. But for right now, I'm not there.

[loversquarrel]

Good job I would have done the same. She will pine for you in time...this guy is 32 and knows she cheated on you, he'll move on from her and she'll want to come back....just wait, and when she does tell her to shove off. She wanted 30 days as a "just in case this other guy doesn't work out", now you know why she doesn't have friends.

[Sasukie]

Although its easier said than done, you'll have moments of weakness and times when you might miss her (You always feel like you don't miss her earlier on, because your rational self can tell you that you're better off. And in your case yes you are better of. If you are truly going to law school and can settle your life, just think of this as a small step. Get the ball moving and you'll realize that at the age of 22-24, you need to be focusing on yourself and settling down a little).

 

I had the same thing offered to me, but instead of 30 days it was 2 weeks. I missed her and tried contacting her too, and then you realize no matter what excuse they give you, if they need time "to sort" out feelings, that's generally just distancing themselves.

 

No biggie though. Just make sure in the upcoming months when you get those weak moments, don't falter. Stay strong and if you need to vent, do it here or tell a friend. You no longer owe anything to her and in a few months time she'll be another stranger.

Although its sad, thats the way the world works. I'm happy to see your post OP.

[Chi townD]

I'm wondering if she sent a follow up message from the one he sent. If she didn't, then I have a feeling she was planning on the 30 day period to come and go without contacting him. Letting him know that she wasn't coming back. That the 30 day was bogus and that they were actually broken up but KM didn't really know it.

[lauri]

You did exactly the right thing.

 

That "spark" she is going to have with this new guy won't last and she will come back to you eventually trying to test the waters. She will eventually start to feel guilty, eventually start to doubt her decision and realize her "break" was unfair to you while she was seeing someone else. When and if she does, you will be in complete control of your emotions because you ARE going to maintain NC. You aren't a yo-yo who can be thrown around and treated like a toy. You are a good person, a human with feeling and you won't be used.

 

Now, if I do see her by chance on the train, act like you don't care and could careless that you two are over. In the end, it is her loss. She made the decision to do things behind your back and plot against you.

 

To me, loyalty is everything and this girl is far from loyal. You deserve to be with someone who will never do anything to betray your trust again. I believe you are going to have your days moving forward but we will all be here for you during it. As of right now, you have done way better then 99% of us at the same stage as you. You should be proud of your self-control, strength and maturity.

[km19]

I'm wondering if she sent a follow up message from the one he sent. If she didn't, then I have a feeling she was planning on the 30 day period to come and go without contacting him. Letting him know that she wasn't coming back. That the 30 day was bogus and that they were actually broken up but KM didn't really know it.

 

Haven't heard from her since I sent her the final message Tuesday morning. I did ask her to not reply or contact me in the future, however. Regardless, with the way things have materialized over the past week, I wouldn't be at all shocked if I never hear from her again.

 

Maybe you all feel like I'm beating a dead horse, but I truly do appreciate everyone who has taken the time to chime in and post. It's therapeutic, because while these last two days have been tougher then the few before, I can reference this thread, read from beginning to end and really substantiate what I'm doing

[km19]

You did exactly the right thing.

 

That "spark" she is going to have with this new guy won't last and she will come back to you eventually trying to test the waters. She will eventually start to feel guilty, eventually start to doubt her decision and realize her "break" was unfair to you while she was seeing someone else. When and if she does, you will be in complete control of your emotions because you ARE going to maintain NC. You aren't a yo-yo who can be thrown around and treated like a toy. You are a good person, a human with feeling and you won't be used.

 

Now, if I do see her by chance on the train, act like you don't care and could careless that you two are over. In the end, it is her loss. She made the decision to do things behind your back and plot against you.

 

To me, loyalty is everything and this girl is far from loyal. You deserve to be with someone who will never do anything to betray your trust again. I believe you are going to have your days moving forward but we will all be here for you during it. As of right now, you have done way better then 99% of us at the same stage as you. You should be proud of your self-control, strength and maturity.

 

Thanks Lauri. I really appreciate that.

 

I'm 100% with you with respect to loyalty. A relationship is a team effort, and it's not right when one party is the only one loyal enough to make the effort when the going gets tough. I know with total confidence that I would never trust her to stick around and dig deep if we got back together and experienced some bumps in the road. I would always be concerned about her bailing. That ideology is really what supports my actions

[Trep]

Thanks Lauri. I really appreciate that.

 

I'm 100% with you with respect to loyalty. A relationship is a team effort, and it's not right when one party is the only one loyal enough to make the effort when the going gets tough. I know with total confidence that I would never trust her to stick around and dig deep if we got back together and experienced some bumps in the road. I would always be concerned about her bailing. That ideology is really what supports my actions

 

Buying you a beer isn't enough. I want to shout you a case.

 

You handled this situation perfectly. Champion.

[Eddie Edirol]

Thanks Lauri. I really appreciate that.

 

I'm 100% with you with respect to loyalty. A relationship is a team effort, and it's not right when one party is the only one loyal enough to make the effort when the going gets tough. I know with total confidence that I would never trust her to stick around and dig deep if we got back together and experienced some bumps in the road. I would always be concerned about her bailing. That ideology is really what supports my actions

 

If you start to relapse, just remember, she broke it off with you for some reason, that she didnt care about you enough to explain to you. Well shes young, shes probably too chicken to, probably doesnt want to deal with the reaction. But as the weeks come, you will probably figure out why, subtle actions from her, things you did that might have turned her off, whatever, then you learn for when youre ready to date again. So dont worry about the reasons, they will come to you eventually, you dont need her for that.

[johnson_j]

KM, great job sir!

 

 

Lauri said it perfectly as well. I strongly believe she will start to question herself shortly. I've found many women get the GIGS and then suddenly come running back when the "romance" wears off.

 

 

At the end of this she will respect you more for standing up for yourself.

 

 

Hang in there partner, with any luck the darkest days are behind you.

[km19]

Buying you a beer isn't enough. I want to shout you a case.

 

You handled this situation perfectly. Champion.

 

Appreciate it!

 

Johnson_j - I would double quote if I knew how. Appreciate the optimism!

 

Still have quite the journey ahead of me so I don't want to get too cocky. Tomorrow will be interesting for me. We both have had quite busy schedules and Friday was designated as our "night".

 

Have some plans made already to keep my mind off things but Im prepared for it to be a bit rough. I know I'm just in the early stages, but god how I wish I could just go forward 6 months from now.

Edited May 1, 2014 by km19

[Chi townD]

How was Friday going to be "our night" if you're still in the 30 day no contact period?

 

 

Well, regardless, you're figuring sh*t out for yourself. The big key is to KEEP BUSY!!!!! That's most important to you right now. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY!!!!

[km19]

I think the world enjoys toying with me, especially today. Got an email stating that my ex has now joined Linkedin and it said I should add her as a connection. Obviously just an auto-generated email. Then our company gave out some Cineplex passes for two. Just stings

 

And the more I think about all this, the more infuriated I become. I'm just assuming that there were issues in the relationship that I just wasn't privy to. But it's the lack of communication that pisses me off. Why weren't these concerns brought up? Why didn't we work on these issues or even make an effort? I look back and think I could have handled some situations differently, but it's not enough to simply drop everything.

 

And the one big thing that baffles me. She drops me for a 32 year old divorced father. I'm sorry, but what the ****.

 

I just needed to vent. I'm literally dumbfounded by this entire situation.

Edited May 2, 2014 by km19

[somecamel]

I think the world enjoys toying with me, especially today. Got an email stating that my ex has now joined Linkedin and it said I should add her as a connection. Obviously just an auto-generated email. Then our company gave out some Cineplex passes for two. Just stings

 

And the more I think about all this, the more infuriated I become. I'm just assuming that there were issues in the relationship that I just wasn't privy to. But it's the lack of communication that pisses me off. Why weren't tees concerns brought up? Why didn't work on these issues? I look back and think I could have handled some situations differently, but it's not enough to simply drop everything.

 

And the one big thing that baffles me. She drops me for a 32 year old divorced father. I'm sorry, but what the ****.

 

I just needed to vent. I'm literally dumbfounded by this entire situation.

 

What you're experiencing is completely normal, the blaze attitude to start with was expected but now it's starting to hit home a little?

 

As Chi said above, the key is to keep yourself busy but don't ignore the feelings you are having, they are key for you to get over this.

 

It's Friday 5pm here so I'm going go and have a few beers me thinks, I suggest you do the same:)

 

Chin up and keep on moving on:)

[EuTuBrute]

HA dude dont worry she will be back...Same story as my ex, she wanted a break. You did the right thing to end it with her. Mine came back after a year, apologizing the whole nine yards. I'm still deciding if i want to take her back.

 

Take a look at Barky2's posts, follow his advice. Best advice on the forum

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/418763-if-youve-been-broken-up-broken-hearted

Edited May 2, 2014 by EuTuBrute

[johnson_j]

HA dude dont worry she will be back...Same story as my ex, she wanted a break. You did the right thing to end it with her. Mine came back after a year, apologizing the whole nine yards. I'm still deciding if i want to take her back.

 

Take a look at Barky2's posts, follow his advice. Best advice on the forum

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/418763-if-youve-been-broken-up-broken-hearted

 

 

 

Or like my ex, who said at 745 PM that everything was perfect and she loved me and by 9 PM I was extracting out of her how much I had hurt her by forgetting a small detail but she agreed to work on it, and by 12 noon the next day it was done. And of course it turned out to be another guy.

 

 

Let her run the course with this "winner" and be prepared for the next part of the storm.

[Natsume21]

 

 

On a break with my girlfriend (not a mutual decision) and truly confused

 

Hi there,

 

I have been reading this forum for the last couple days and would love to tell my story and hopefully get some feedback. I'm really sorry this is so long, but I really want to give you all a solid background so it can be seen from all viewpoints.

 

To give a brief background, me and my ex (god it's tough to say that) were together for about 5.5 years, in a span of 7 years. At this point, we are both 22, turning 23 this year. We dated in high-school, broke up, and then got back together in university. When we broke up in high-school, my best friend at the time jumped all over my ex and they got into a relationship extremely quickly. To be blunt, it devastated me because I lost two important people in my life.

 

As I said we got back together in university and were together for just over 4 years. It took a lot of forgiveness to get over what had happened between us, but I ultimately forgave her. We lived together in 3rd and 4th year and really learned a lot about each other. I would say we passed this "test" with flying colours and we both were truly upset when we moved back home. To this day essentially, we talk about missing seeing eachother every day and have discussed getting our own place. I officially graduated in 2013 (pretty much a year ago to the date) whereas she has officially finished all of her courses as of last week.

 

I quickly got a job out of university and have been working since June of last year. It was originally just a step as I had plans to go to law school. However, I'm not sure going back to school is the right decision for me. Now that she is just graduating, she is working back at the same summer job she's had for the prior 2 summers. However, she doesn't have a job secured that extends beyond this summer.

 

She is not a person who has many friends, or even any at all. However, I feel I'm in the same boat. At 22 years of age, I would certainly say we don't act like the typical 22 year old would. We're both not partiers, we don't enjoy going to clubs, or drinking all weekend. It's hard to really connect with people when you differ so drastically, especially when the majority are different. Regardless, I have a couple good friends in my life.

 

In August of last year, a coworker started trying to get closer to me. It got to the point where I asked her to stop acting a certain way, but I'd be lying if it didn't make me think for a bit. When I was around my ex I was acting "off", and she noticed it and called me out on it, rightfully so. I explained I wasn't really sure what was going through my head but I wanted a couple days to comprehend everything. My ex was extremely upset and she did call me and text me multiple times crying and asking what was going on. A few days later I went and saw her again and it truly removed any doubts I had in my head. My ex was a great girl, a girl who would do anything for me, and I wasn't going to throw it away. I would say from this point on until about the end of February/early March, our relationship was as strong as it had even been. We were having sex more, we saw each other more and I felt we just enjoyed eachother's company more.

 

Flash forward to the present. My ex is really into fitness, specifically biking and indoor spin classes. She was asked out by a guy after her spin class a few weeks ago. It was recently discovered that he is 32, divorced and has a daughter. I know what you are all thinking, 10 year age gap, its pretty significant. To be honest, I've seen the guy, he looks older than 22, but not 32. Long story short, my ex politely declined stating she has a boyfriend. She did feel guilty and confronted this guy afterwards trying to not make it awkward and to ensure that he didn't have to change anything with respect to his workout routine. Me and my ex talked about this, and I supported it. Just to note, I have gone to a couple of the spin classes with her since being asked. She talks to him and is friendly, nothing that made me uncomfortable.

 

About a week and a half ago my ex texted me saying that she is going to a bike store to look for road bikes (which she has expressed an interest in for the past few months). She did state that this guy who asked her out can get a discount at this store and re-assured me there is nothing going on and that they are just friends. I trust her and didn't make a huge deal out of it. To be truly honest, I want her to have friends, I truly do want that for her.

 

While this has been all going on, my ex and I's relationship has been a little bit rocky. Nothing major, no fights, just I personally felt a little unappreciated. However, things did actively change and she would spontaneously send me messages while I was at work, or surprise me after work with something she baked. We got back to this conversation around that time she went to the bike store with this guy. I just wanted to ensure that everything was still good with us, and that there was nothing going on. She said they are just friends and how it made her feel better that she could make friends and not just have me in her life. I was on board with this. As I mentioned earlier, I want her to have more friends, it is something I really want for her. That very same day she became quite short in some text messages so I gave her a call to see if everything was okay, which it apparently truly wasn't.

 

We met in person just at a parking lot and talked for quite some time. She expressed to me that she has felt like she has given up a lot for this relationship (ie friends) and that she needs to look out for herself right now. She further went on to say that because we have been together for so long, she doesn't know how to live her life just on her own, not rely on a boyfriend for happiness, and she feels she needs that before she commits to something long term. She expressed that she believes that I need this as well. She said she wants to go on a 30 day break with no contact. I expressed my opinion that I believe that this wasn't the right choice, but I wasn't going to convince her. She had made up her mind.

 

We texted for like a day after this happened. To sum it up, she stated that she needs to figure her out more, figure out what she is doing in her life and have experiences to truly commit to a "forever" with a relationship. She said she wants her partner to also have experiences as well to know that she makes them "forever happy". She ended it with saying that her ideal is to not make this a permanent goodbye at all, she just wants an opportunity to do her and me do me.

 

She recommended a 30 day no contact period, which I truly wasn't thrilled with. I attempted to explain that despite this being my only "real" relationship, I wouldn't be in it after this long if she didn't make me forever happy and that I want her to learn more about herself, but to do it as a couple so I could be there for her every step of the way supporting her. Again, there was no convincing her at this stage.

 

I'm trying to make sense of all this, how it could happen so suddenly and what is really motivating her. I have talked to some of my friends about it and have come to mixed opinions. Some say she isn't being fair just bailing on me when we could tackle this together as a couple. Others, mostly girls, see this as a cry for help. The last few messages she sent me did seem to scream "commitment issues" which I have never experienced with her before. As I said, I'm trying to make sense of all this and what I, and some of friends believe, is that with her just graduating and without a job secure past this summer, she is really concerned about determining what she wants to do with her life. Further, without a large pool of friends, I think she fears being left and having no one left. Which makes absolute perfect sense considering her mother is divorced, has very little friends and is described as "alone" by my ex herself. In fact, over our relationship, we have had to sacrifice time together so my ex could spend time with her mother. I gently brought this subject up when we talked in the parking lot, and I could tell I hit something. She didn't talk in great detail about it but I could tell by the look on her face and the brief things she did mention, that this was a legitimate concern for her.

 

So right now we are on day 5 of no contact. It really sucks because I think she is truly struggling with some real life issues as this is a big part in her life with just graduating from university. I hate not being there to support her. I get it she wants to figure things out, but I don't see why that has to come at the expense of me. I see this as a excellent opportunity to grow as a couple, which I mentioned to her.

 

I legitimately see a future with this girl. I could explain it with 100 adjectives saying how much I love her and how much she means to me. To keep it short and sweet, shes a fantastic girl who I feel extremely fortunate to have had.

 

I made a really bad mistake earlier, however. I went to login into my email and noticed her email saved as well (she has logged in on my computer before). I knew her password and saw she had sent an email to the guy who asked her out at the gym and she went to the bike store with. Hers wasn't ridiculous but they are having dinner tomorrow night. It's his response that killed me - "arms locked" and "cant wait to see you again".

 

This has really made my mind go 100 miles a minute and honestly made me think back to our first breakup when she and my best friend got into a relationship 2 weeks after we broke up. I'm really not sure how to feel right now. As I said, this break was not a mutual decision and now that I read this email, I'm even more confused. I know I shouldn't have done it as it has made things worse for me, but I don't know what this means for me and any hope of getting back together. I dont know if I can trust her given what she told me.

 

Im at the point where I'm doing my best to move on, but I obviously want closure. Im not sure if I should contact her or what. She has stuff at my house that I really just want to give back to her so it doesn't remind me.

 

I really do appreciate you all for reading and I apologize on the length. I look forward to hearing your responses and input.

 

 

I'm new here, so forgive me that I'm late to this party.

 

I see that you've pretty much nailed this on the head, but I'd like to give my side without treadjacking.

 

I, too, got the whole "I need to find myself cause I have been too overly-reliant on you" speech. Devastated me. It seemed convenient considering that a co-worker of hers appeared on the side and asked her out, and she rejected him but they hung out a LOT.

 

You already know, it ended like yours. She called for a break, explored her feelings for this guy, and then the minute he committed, she dropped me, but not before I found out she cheated. Her excuse was "things change." 3 years down the drain.

 

I wasn't as strong as you. I begged and pleaded like a peasant to a greedy king. She just called me pathetic and a loser. And then she kept me on a string.

 

If you want to know why this is happening, it can be summed up thus: She thinks she can do better, and most of the time when a woman likes another guy, depending on her morals, some are very kind and fair about it , but you're going to encounter those that don't give a **** about your feelings and will treat you like no.2.

 

 

 

Clearly, by her lying to you, instead of admitting she was wrong, she simply didn't give a **** and played you. She's selfish in her relationships and friendships. Btw, boyfriend and girlfriend has the word "friend" in it, and from the looks of it, she's no friend of yours.

 

Don't just go NC, completely delete her from your life. She needs to learn that her decisions have consequences. '

 

Trust me, she's going to have it happen to her. You are going to feel like you're inadequate. For some reason a man's ego is boosted by the amount of women or his general success with women. But really, regardless of man or woman, our moral values are determined by what we do when we know we aren't gonna get caught, and clearly, she is fake and selfish.

 

Maybe she'll grow out of it, maybe not, but this showed that she's a terrible match for someone of your caliber.

 

She's someone else's problem now. Do you, and regardless of whether you're rich, poor, or in between, life is worth living, cause we're all a part of it.

 

On that path you might find someone.

 

Remember this, if a person isn't benefitting your life in a positive way, drop them. You're a hero for standing up for yourself. Prepare for the rollercoaster of emotions.

 

I'd love to share stories, bro. You got a bud in me. Girls at that age aren't looking for commitment. Just the BBD in their eyes. So forget about keeping one for life, and just have fun and enjoy your young life. Then consider settling down.

 

Life's a bitch. Keep her on a leash. Much love man. Hang in there.

 

"Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered"

[Natsume21]

Btw, Chi, I read a lot of your posts.

 

I'd like to chat with you, bro. You seem to know your stuff.

 

Listen to him. Dude knows his stuff.

[lil hoodlum]

 

And the more I think about all this, the more infuriated I become. I'm just assuming that there were issues in the relationship that I just wasn't privy to. But it's the lack of communication that pisses me off. Why weren't these concerns brought up? Why didn't we work on these issues or even make an effort? I look back and think I could have handled some situations differently, but it's not enough to simply drop everything.

 

 

You mean you didn't get the memo that you were a horrible person and a terrible boyfriend?

 

Yeah, me neither.

 

You are doing fine! I am glad how you have handled everything thus far. Kuddos for telling her to take a long walk off of a short pier! Finding out the truth makes all of the difference. Glad you found out.

[Chi townD]

Yeah, sure dude! But you got to get a few more posts under your belt before your PM gets turned on. But, I'll be more than happy to talk with you.

[Natsume21]

 

And the more I think about all this, the more infuriated I become. I'm just assuming that there were issues in the relationship that I just wasn't privy to. But it's the lack of communication that pisses me off. Why weren't these concerns brought up? Why didn't we work on these issues or even make an effort? I look back and think I could have handled some situations differently, but it's not enough to simply drop everything.

 

It is to a girl who constantly gets attention. People tend to appreciate things more when they have to work for it, but don't when it's falling into their lap. That's why women have G.I.G.S. more than men.

 

Monkeybranching. Honestly, that's because the issues never were with you. Simply, she was bored and wanted to see what was out there, and treated you like an option: just a fashion accessory. Had she cared about the relationship with you at the end, she would have addressed the issues.

 

Instead, she waited until she saw her next vine, and she swung to it. Monkeybranching.

[FredJones80]

Monkeybranching. Honestly, that's because the issues never were with you. Simply, she was bored and wanted to see what was out there, and treated you like an option: just a fashion accessory. Had she cared about the relationship with you at the end, she would have addressed the issues.

 

Instead, she waited until she saw her next vine, and she swung to it. Monkeybranching.

 

Amazing.

 

Monkeybranching

 

I like that

[Natsume21]

Everyone has their issues we got to work on. Truth is you could have done nothing to change the outcome.

 

She never addressed the issues with you because she was BORED. And it's not your fault, dude. She's in her 20s. She's still young, beautiful, and swarmed with attention. It's a part of being young and mostly stupid. The simple fact that she treated the relationship as a time consumer, rather than a living, emotional thing, shows that clearly, you were in the relationship more than she was.

 

That lack of respect is classic of monkeybranchers. Don't worry, chances are she'll lose her branch. Will you see her? Maybe, or maybe not.

 

But she hurt you without remorse. We are taught that every action has a consequence.

 

Punish this girl by showing her that she can't just walk on people with "We were on a break" technicalities just to cake-eat at your emotional expense. Drop her like a bad habit and be proud of it. Women, not girls, will respect you for it.-Natsume.

[km19]

Everyone has their issues we got to work on. Truth is you could have done nothing to change the outcome.

 

She never addressed the issues with you because she was BORED. And it's not your fault, dude. She's in her 20s. She's still young, beautiful, and swarmed with attention. It's a part of being young and mostly stupid. The simple fact that she treated the relationship as a time consumer, rather than a living, emotional thing, shows that clearly, you were in the relationship more than she was.

 

That lack of respect is classic of monkeybranchers. Don't worry, chances are she'll lose her branch. Will you see her? Maybe, or maybe not.

 

But she hurt you without remorse. We are taught that every action has a consequence.

 

Punish this girl by showing her that she can't just walk on people with "We were on a break" technicalities just to cake-eat at your emotional expense. Drop her like a bad habit and be proud of it. Women, not girls, will respect you for it.-Natsume.

 

Natsume - you're an awesome dude.

 

I'm totally with you on the lack of respect, but what I can't get out of my head are the external factors which I think led to this. Again, I want to emphasize that this doesn't justify anything, she treated me like dirt, and it f'n sucks. But I want to explain the facts.

 

She doesn't have any friends. None. It was essentially me and her mom in her life. I always tried to get her to meet people. For example, a lot of my colleagues are in their 20s and we generally go out after work at least once a week for drinks. I always tried to get her to come out, but she always resisted. Other examples included going on double dates and joining a bowling league with another couple. Nothing. The reason I'm bringing this up is because she doesn't get attention because she never got out unless it was with me. And to be frank, I'm 6'6. People aren't going to hit on the girlfriend of a 6'6 dude. So flash forward to her getting asked out a month ago. She got attention that she's generally not exposed to.

 

Further, she just graduated school and doesn't have a job locked up past August. Given that she has anxiety and likes to be in control of everything, I know this stresses her out. I've known that she has been stressed about what she wants to do with her life as we have talked about her decision not to pursue graduate school, which really seemed to be set in stone.

 

And finally, she fears turning into her mother. I mentioned this originally but her mother has no one. She's divorced and is miserable. My ex admits this herself. In conjunction with the fact that she had noone except me and that her job situation is up in the air beyond this summer, I know things aren't exactly in tip top shape between the ears.

 

I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm starting to believe that there really isn't one definite factor that led to all this. It seems to be a "perfect storm" where everything just came together

 

Again this doesn't change anything, I'm not breaking no contact. She treated me like absolute garbage and lied to my face. But it's what iv been thinking.