Lunatrue Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 (edited) My boyfriend's ex was his High school sweetheart of 6 years. They traveled outside the country together, wrote poems to each other, have walked along the ocean, rafting, camping, love notes, made things for each other, talked about their futures, goals and wants, etc. I understand it isn't right to compare, but I cannot help feeling like I am not good enough for him. We never walked the beach, go on board walks anymore, he has never wrote me a poem, he doesn't talk to me about his wants, goals or future. All I want is to share a special moment with him that doesn't require spending money. He has done some nice things and have acknowledged that, but I just want to be able to talk about a future and be able to walk the beach or board walk with him, without feeling like I'm not good enough or that I am pushing him to do these things. He plays video games a lot (from the time he comes home from work, till he goes to bed everyday.) There is never really a time he isn't playing his games, other than when he eats dinner. I recently got a job as a designer from home and I have anxiety, which doesn't make talking to him very easy. When he becomes frustrated I end up losing my words and start doubting what to say next. In the end, I apologies for everything. He ended up meeting this girl at work and I felt bad when I became slightly jealous of them holding a great conversation at his friend's dirt Race event. They seemed to hold a better conversation than when we usually talk which lasts no more than a minute, sometimes less. I noticed her looking at him and she started talking about how she was single and needed to find a guy. I ended up confronting my boyfriend about it and admitted that I knew it was irrational of me to be jealous. I have let a lot of things go and I don't bother him anymore about things. When he plays his games, I don't say anything and when it comes to this girl, because I feel I don't have the right to say anything. After a month has past, I notice I slightly snap at him when he approaches me and I feel very irritable. I look down when he looks at me and I have a very hard time looking at him. I also have felt slightly less sexual and less motivated to doing things in the bedroom. He will often come up to me and grab my breasts and ass being flirtatious, I end up feeling less excited. I have made a post about something he has done to hurt me in the past, but it would take me forever to explain in this post. I become irritated and uncomfortable thinking of what to say. (Afraid I might say something wrong, or unappealing.) I want to be able to work on our relationship and I want someone to give me advice other than leaving him or this relationship. Its not that easy... Edited April 27, 2014 by Lunatrue Link to post Share on other sites
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