milkybarkid Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 I first met my ex over 4 years ago and she was with another man, she told me she was unhappy with this man and was in the process of leaving him. We had an intense affair for approx 6 months until she eventually left him and we got together. We were together for about 3 months then we had a bad argument, didn't speak for a week and she got back wither her ex. I slept with her a few times when she first got back with him and then moved on and didn't speak to her for about a year and a half and in this time she moved away with her ex. Out of the blue about 18 months later she accidently sent me a text and we started speaking again. I didn't have her number at this point and she had moved away. She told me how unhappy she was with her ex. She returned home to visit family and slept with me and we started talking every day and started having an intense affair again. After about 4 months I told her I would leave her if she didn't finish with her ex and she left her ex again and we became an item. She was away doing a masters and I would visit her once a month with her returning home once a month. We spoke every day, she told me she loved me every day and she returned home just before xmas. When she returned she was quite distant and admitted to me she was missing her ex. We argued and didn't speak for a week or so, during this time the other man returned to my home town for new year and she spent new year with him and a group of friends. After new year we met up and decided to try again properly but take things very slowly. For a couple of months everything was amazing and she constantly told me she loved me. She would stay at mine frequently and I bought her a toothbrush and some other things to keep at mine as she stayed so often but I could see this unnerved her and she backed off a little and asked to slow things down again. Then she started to tell me her ex was bothering her and was giving her grief about not being a good enough friend to him. I could see this was affecting her and over a few weeks we became distant (still speaking every day, but just didn't seem to have the closeness we had). I did notice that she was sending late night wattsap messages to someone due to the timestamp, I found this strange as usually I would be the last person she messaged, but I had full trust in her and never questioned it. Then her sister came up to me and asked me to leave her alone, told me she wasn't over her ex and that I was just a rebound and not good for her. She did not know her sister had spoken to me. I couldn't bring myself to see my ex but sent her a lovely mess saying goodbye and that I will always love her. She sent me a mess saying the mess was so lovely it made her cry, part of her still loves me, she hopes one day we can be together but she dosent want me to be her rebound relationship and she hopes this isn't goodbye forever. That was 9 days ago and I haven't spoke to her since and she hasnt tried to contact me, but I miss her terribly. Im unsure what I should do, I still love her, but I do not know if I should pursue her or what action I should take next. Ive been sleeping with her for 4 years and with her exclusively for over a year, i didn't think I would be a rebound if i was with someone for that amount of time!?!? Can anyone help or advise me?? Link to post Share on other sites
yorkie Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 to be honest i dont know but if i was her bf i would be very peeved off! sorry looks like she is playing you both and also she is trust worthy at all! i dont condone what you have done by having an affair but things happen and if she went back to her ex then back to you its only a matter of time before someone else gets involved! sorry if i sound harsh there but she either leaves you or want you and to be honest she sounds like trouble! anyhow i wish you all the best and hope you find a nice single lady to settle down in my opinion! Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 We had an intense affair for approx 6 months until she eventually left him and we got together. ...I slept with her a few times when she first got back with him and then moved on and didn't speak to her for about a year and a half and in this time she moved away with her ex. ...She returned home to visit family and slept with me and we started talking every day and started having an intense affair again. ...I did notice that she was sending late night wattsap messages to someone due to the timestamp... ...Then her sister came up to me and asked me to leave her alone, told me she wasn't over her ex and that I was just a rebound and not good for her... ...she hopes one day we can be together but she dosent want me to be her rebound relationship and she hopes this isn't goodbye forever.... What is it that you actually WANT from this girl? All I see is a horribly destructive pattern of cheating. I don't see any commitment at all beyond sexual encounters. This relationship was lost the minute you walked in and started her affair with her ex boyfriend 4 years ago. That screams immaturity and disrespect. Frankly, I'd say you need time to figure out what you want in the long term with a woman and what you're willing to put up for. Please don't keep breaking your heart. Most of all, I think about her poor ex caught up in your love affair.... Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Good grief have you no self respect for yourself? I think you need to have a really good look at yourself because you are allowing her to treat you like this. She doesn't know how to commit to anyone! As soon as she has an upset, she runs of with the next available man. What a weak woman Link to post Share on other sites
Author milkybarkid Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 But I love her and think about her all the time. When we are together she makes me feel like no one else ever has. I haven't spoken to her for 9 days and it is sooo hard not to contact her, this is the longest we have gone without speaking to each other for 18 months and I miss her terribly already Link to post Share on other sites
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