What does he want???

[sarahc12]

Hello!

(First of all, excuse my English , I am French)

So I met this guy in Thailand eight months ago. We were both living there at that time. We got along well instantly, having many commons interests and good chemistry. After a few dates, we ended up having sex. We started growing really fond of each other. But I was supposed to leave Thailand a few months after and we both knew what we were doing wasn't going anywhere. In the meantime, we kept seing each other almost on a daily basis. After a while we both admitted we had fallen for each other. But, being practical people, also decided a relationship was impossible. I was to leave and he was to stay. I told him we could still follow our own separate paths and maybe give it a try if we ever came to meet each other again, but he did not seem so enthusiastic.

 

Now it's been 4 months. I miss him so much it hurts. I've had a couple of guys. I thought this would help but it does not. He and I are still in touch, sending emails, funny pictures, chatting on Skype or Facebook. He just sent me a gift for my birthday, his favorite book with a little note. He often says that he misses me. Recently he told me something like " If I met you again I don't think I would do let you go Sarah ".

 

IWe know we won't be able to see each other in a very long time. What does he want exactly? I'm so confused. I think I love him and it's so damn painful I'm starting to think I should just stop talking to him at once. What do you think and what would you do?

 

Thanks for your kind advice!

[TAV]

Hello!

(First of all, excuse my English , I am French)

So I met this guy in Thailand eight months ago. We were both living there at that time. We got along well instantly, having many commons interests and good chemistry. After a few dates, we ended up having sex. We started growing really fond of each other. But I was supposed to leave Thailand a few months after and we both knew what we were doing wasn't going anywhere. In the meantime, we kept seing each other almost on a daily basis. After a while we both admitted we had fallen for each other. But, being practical people, also decided a relationship was impossible. I was to leave and he was to stay. I told him we could still follow our own separate paths and maybe give it a try if we ever came to meet each other again, but he did not seem so enthusiastic.

 

Now it's been 4 months. I miss him so much it hurts. I've had a couple of guys. I thought this would help but it does not. He and I are still in touch, sending emails, funny pictures, chatting on Skype or Facebook. He just sent me a gift for my birthday, his favorite book with a little note. He often says that he misses me. Recently he told me something like " If I met you again I don't think I would do let you go Sarah ".

 

IWe know we won't be able to see each other in a very long time. What does he want exactly? I'm so confused. I think I love him and it's so damn painful I'm starting to think I should just stop talking to him at once. What do you think and what would you do?

 

Thanks for your kind advice!

 

Bonjour et bienvenue, Sarah! Horrible isn't it? When you meet someone who fits you so perfectly and you can't be together.

 

I think the only person who can tell you what he wants is him. So you will have to talk to him. I also think it is fair to tell him how much missing him is hurting you and to what extend it is affecting your life.

 

Here at LS NC (no contact) is a big thing. I have not needed to stick to the rules myself so far but it seems to be the only way to get over someone. I think you have every right to ask him what he wants from you and if he is flaky and does not say he wants you to be more than a friend (and acts on it!) maybe no contact for a while is the best thing for you.

 

If he cares for you as much as he seems to do, he will understand. I hope for you that is also a way to keep the good memories alive forever and not have them spoiled by months of misery.

 

Good luck.

[justwhoiam]

We know we won't be able to see each other in a very long time

How long?

 

What does he want exactly?

I think he's just letting you know you're still in his heart.

 

I think I love him and it's so damn painful I'm starting to think I should just stop talking to him at once.

Yes, you can stop talking to someone you love.

 

What do you think

I think that you need to be less emotional for a few weeks and see if being with him is what you really want for yourself. Looking at it from a bigger picture. Not just the two of you in a bubble having sex.

 

and what would you do?

If I were really in love and sure about his love (intensity & commitment), I would give it a go.