Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Mum said my sister has a boyfriend and I called my sis a whore because she really does dress like one. No guy would date her for any other reason than getting between her legs. And it sucks that she loses her virginity before me and has a boyfriend, she'll never stop reminding me. Of course mum had to once more remind me of how no one wants me and how my ex stood me up when i wanted to meet him.. And now I'm just sitting here, badly wanting to die and trying to find a reason to not but can't find any and it scares me My ex was supposed to be my ticket away from here... He was supposed to give me the strength to start a new life far from here and I'd never have to see these monsters again who calls themselves my family i didn't even dare to apply to the university I've always wanted to go to because they have make me so broken and I'm too scared to leave now my ex and my best friend are gone and I'm trapped in this hell and can't get out and just wanting to die i don't know what to do anymore I can't stop crying, i just wanna scream, i keep failing school, can't focus, i cut myself again, just once but i know more is coming because i hated to see the blood stop because i just wanna be brave enough to end my life. I've nothing to live for and look forward to, I've missed out on half of my life and cant catch up. I begged my mum before she left to work to give me lift to the hospital, because that would improve my chances to survive (still crazy enough to think life will change soon...)if cutting too deep. But she refused. I even called my dad but he didn't answer.. My sis boyfriend is coming here tomorrow to stay the night and i am trying to find reason to not be here but i've no where to go so i just badly wanna die I talked to my shrink (before i found out about this guy...) yesterday and said i'm suicidal again and my thoughts scare me, all she can do is offer me therapy once a week. I was going to call the mental hospital in town but I'm not considered ill enough to go there, i even asked doctors and shrinks before. I could apply for a supporting home living thing but that will take months if not even a year!! I'm scared of my thoughts, my pain and my future, i don't know how to get through tomorrow.. This current state also made me not study for my oral presentation tomorrow and missing that adds just more anxiety and suicidal thoughts :( I don't know where to post this, or if it's allowed or whatever. But I'm scared and it hurts and i've absolutely no where else to turn. My family doesn't care and the professionals refuse to see the warning lights and my cries for help. I don't know how to get through the next 48 hours I need someone to talk to, someone to tell me what to do. I feel so helpless and i'm terrified of my cravings to die No matter how much or long i try my life just doesn't get better and i just feel worse please help Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Do they have a suicide prevention hotline where you live? I find it appalling that a licensed therapist wouldn't take a patient's statement that s/he is feeling suicidal more seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 29, 2014 Author Share Posted April 29, 2014 they don't Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 You have been given so much good advice here but you do not take any of it. Do you really think that killing yourself is something to shout about? It is not and most who do, do it quietly. Why don`t you take some of the fantastic advice here? You seem to be stuck in a cycle of inaction. You have to do something for yourself, no one can do it for you. Yes i know your reply will be `you don`t know me`, so how could you know. You are not the first person to go through hell. But you can emerge from this if you want to. People want to help you here, couldn`t you just let them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 29, 2014 Author Share Posted April 29, 2014 I am but no one tells me how Link to post Share on other sites
oz-missy Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 If you actually are in Sweden I found this helpline for you with their number listed as 020-22 00 60 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Useless. Even spent a night at the crazy house which only made me want to die even more Link to post Share on other sites
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