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Why do guys lose interest once you show yours?


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rodawaybecky

Me and this guy have been talking on and off for weeks. I was never interested in him until I got to know him a little bit better. He got my number via a mutual friend who knows he was interested.

 

He was persistent at first whereby he would text me first starting a conversation or approach me first whenever he saw me. About 2 weeks ago we were texting back and forth when he asked if he could call me. We were on the phone for roughly 3 hours (flirting) and when I eventually ended the call around 2.30 a.m. I went to sleep to find a text off him when I woke up thanking me for the call and telling me how much he enjoyed it.

 

We texted back and forth that entire day but after that it was like he just vanished. I text him every now and again to see how he's doing but I feel like I'm annoying him and I'm genuinely not a clingy person.

 

I'm wondering if he's taking it easy because he knows I'm beginning to like him or he's not interested anymore. Anyone have an idea?

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Frank2thepoint

Sounds like he is doing the ol' push-pull or hot-cold tactic. Very manipulative. Since you guys had a three hour phone conversation and an all day text date, he has it in his mind he finally has you hooked, so he is playing aloof. The worst case scenario is he lost interest because you are no longer challenging. My suggestion is set your boundaries now, and make a stand. But please do this over the phone, face-to-face would be the best. Don't contact him at this point. Wait for him to reach out to you. Tell him straight that you don't appreciate him going dark/disappearing on you.

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It's only been a few weeks.

 

If he is doing a disappearing act already, chances are:

 

1) He's just not that into you

2) Someone else

3) ANY OTHER REASON IN THE WORLD.

 

If you like him and want to pursue it, tell him so. You'll get your answer fairly quickly.

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Some people really like the chase but lose interest once they "catch" you. I was like that when I was younger.

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It could be anything, including that you two talked so much he's out of anything to say and is just giving it a break. I'm guilty of this too, but it's not a great idea to spend three hours on the phone or texting your whole life story back and forth all at once because after that anything substantive you have to say is probably repititious, plus they say it kills the mystery of letting someone slowly get to know you. I have no impulse control in this regard as anyone can tell by my long and frequent posts, but really, it's better to feed info out a little at a time and only if the other person is doing so as well and their eyes haven't glazed over.

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TigerLilly78

Yep I've seen a guy do this before too came on strong so strong it was kind of a turn off then once I deiced to give it a shot anyways he kind of went luke warm I don't know why they do this either..

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Maybe he's busy.

 

I've also known plenty of people who slowed down after realizing they've been inappropriate by coming on too too strong. I think that has more to do with being human and really wanting a budding relationship to work out. Healthy, rational adults can step back and reassess their behavior to figure out if they need to go about things differently and sometimes that simply means being less intense.

 

So there's good and bad possibilities. The good possibility is that he might have been intense because he really liked you. If you're wondering whether or not he's still interested you can be upfront and ask about it.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sounds like classic behaviour of a Mr emotionally unavailable. Either way, I'm sure you deserve better.

 

Baggagereclaim.co.uk could be your new best friend :)

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