TurningTables Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Well..hi guys. I am at this moment kicking myself. This month I would have been in NC over a year and then before that it would have been two years. A little background: had a EA with who I thought was my best friend. We even talked about it progressing and deciding what to do about it all.(him leaving) Anyways, he kept breaking NC. Every holiday. I finally broke after 8 months of NC and asked him to quit. He blabbed to forgive him and that he missed me..all the normal crap and I fell for it. In my mind, I was thinking I had my BFF back and we could just go on. Stupid me..boarded the crazy train again. After months of being friends and emotions getting out of hand, I tried to walk away several times. This last time he pulled out the "L" word, something he had never said before. I have been distancing myself for the past two months and its reached a breaking point. I finally told him I had met someone and thought it was time just to let it all go. He freaked and backtracked on everything. He said some pretty nasty things like he has "other women" friends that he talks to and his W has men friends also. So he wasent doing anything wrong. He went onto to say that he was very clear on his intentions with me from the beginning. He basically told me that he could have cheated a long time ago if he had wanted but that was not him. and that it was beneath him. He lied to me. He played me. He used me to stroke his ego. He blamed everything on me He led me on. So word to the wise...anyone who thinks that their MM is different, they arent. He never loved me. He never cared. And now, here I am. Feeling stupid and heart broken and embarrassed. TT Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Makes sense, so what is your plan? Knowing all this what should you do next? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TurningTables Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Makes sense, so what is your plan? Knowing all this what should you do next? Well it's like this. Back to NC for good. Changed my number and blocked him from everything else. Can't tell you how humiliated he made me feel last night. Because if "clear intentions" is flirting,talking about being together, him telling me he misses me, loves me , tells me he feelings way beyond friends, talks to me every day , tells me how beautiful and awesome I am, etc is clear intentions of just being friends and that is- I must be on glue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Good for you TT. Your rose colored glasses are off and you see him for the true a**hole he is. Keep that in the front of your head whenever you feel yourself thinking "well, maybe....." Good luck and stay strong. You have so much more to offer someone than to be an option and not a priority! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
latergater Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 (edited) Well..hi guys. I am at this moment kicking myself. This month I would have been in NC over a year and then before that it would have been two years. A little background: had a EA with who I thought was my best friend. We even talked about it progressing and deciding what to do about it all.(him leaving) Anyways, he kept breaking NC. Every holiday. I finally broke after 8 months of NC and asked him to quit. He blabbed to forgive him and that he missed me..all the normal crap and I fell for it. In my mind, I was thinking I had my BFF back and we could just go on. Stupid me..boarded the crazy train again. After months of being friends and emotions getting out of hand, I tried to walk away several times. This last time he pulled out the "L" word, something he had never said before. I have been distancing myself for the past two months and its reached a breaking point. I finally told him I had met someone and thought it was time just to let it all go. He freaked and backtracked on everything. He said some pretty nasty things like he has "other women" friends that he talks to and his W has men friends also. So he wasent doing anything wrong. He went onto to say that he was very clear on his intentions with me from the beginning. He basically told me that he could have cheated a long time ago if he had wanted but that was not him. and that it was beneath him. He lied to me. He played me. He used me to stroke his ego. He blamed everything on me He led me on. So word to the wise...anyone who thinks that their MM is different, they arent. He never loved me. He never cared. And now, here I am. Feeling stupid and heart broken and embarrassed. TT I was talking to a behavioral therapist last Friday and the topic of MM/MW came up. And, the topic of MM/MWs having other "friends" that are just "friends" came up during the conversation. My ex MM also spoke to me about his friends. Friends that were women no doubt -- but he would actually speak about them TO ME -- he wouldn't even try to hide their identity. And, it turns out these friends were ones he was sleeping with and/or had been sleeping with -- and still - he had the NERVE to identify them by name and speak about them in conversation. They have dinner plans or are on a business trip to x or y but I should not worry. I was outraged when I learned one of this women was one who pproached him at some IT conference in Toronto. He called her "a friend from work" the VERY day they met. He even told me her name. Turns out, he met her for drinks that night and lied to me about the nature of their relationship. Clearly .. he slept with her that night - all along making me believe she was just a friend/colleague. Their affair has not ended to date. The therapist told me that most of these MM/MW who are having affairs are narcissists. Narcissists will cheat with you and they will cheat ON YOU. and the next and the next and so on - until they have firmed up "new supply." She said I was stupid to believe my ex MM hadn't been w/ NUMEROUS prostitutes and/or had x number of escorts. My response was "Nooo way .." but then I thought about the facebook messages from the year before. I remembered one of them that took place between my ex MM and his guy friend. They were talking about hiring escorts for the night, for $250 an hour from this place they clearly knew the NAME OF, said they would f- these women for two hours and them tell them to get the f- out. This is a conversation that took place between two friends (via IM) on facebook (my ex didn't shut down his fb page and I found the messages). Bottom line - dont believe a word they say. When their lips are moving, they are LYING Edited May 26, 2014 by latergater Link to post Share on other sites
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