Roommate's girlfriend keeps coming over almost everyday

[natwilliams]

I have calmly asked my roommate twice now to limit the amount of time his girlfriend spends at our place. For a while she was coming over for 12-18 hours at a time. My roommate would often leave to run an errand and leave her there. She is often just on the couch for hours with her laptop.

I am single so it's very important to me to know that at any time (or almost anytime) I can bring a girl over and show her a nice quiet place, not another domestic partnership going on in the living room.

The worst part is he isn't even paying rent and the landlord (currently overseas) is okay with it because they're friends. But I know my roommate is just taking him for a ride. And my roommate spends money still on alcohol and stuff for his girl. Such BS!

I want to just stop paying rent in protest but I am currently in negotiation with the owner to buy the house. If I buy it of course I'll evict my sorry ass roommate. But that's 2-3 months away.

How can I immediately get him to stop this overstepping of my boundaries without involving the owner? Talking to him didn't work because his girlfriend is a needy twat who's neediness trumps my requests evidently.

I thought about these options:

1. Blasting my techno in the living room next time she's overstaying

2. Walking around naked in front of her

3. Bringing guests over - this hasn't been effective in the past

4. Throwing her shoes out on the street

5. Talking to her directly

6. Telling my roommate I'm moving out and being a bit dramatic about it.

7. Trying my best to ignore it - but I hate this option. He is such a loser about this. Oh yeah both are unemployed too.

8. Stopping to do dishes.

9. Taking my roommate out for drinks and trying to win him over a bit.

Any other ideas?

I just can't believe he actually thinks that this is okay, considering he is not even paying rent. And after I have mentioned it a couple times. Lazy worthless cumbag.

[ASG]

There is nothing you can do, and frankly, all your "suggestions" are childish.

 

I've been through the same thing with a flatmate. Her bf would be there every single day. Not paying any bills or rent and taking up space.

 

It wasn't great, but the fact of the matter is, there was nothing that could be done. We talked to the flatmate and she just blew up on us that it was her house too. And she was right. She lived there. So, if we had the right to bring people over, so did she.

 

And if you want to be able to bring girls over, then so does your flatmate. It doesn't really matter if you think she overstays. That's YOUR opinion.

 

You sound like a bitter childish guy. Work on that.

[AnneT1985]

Option number 5 if you have an issue. Best of luck to you

[Els]

1) Talk to both of them, perhaps some monetary compensation is due (bills etc)

2) Frankly it wouldn't matter much to any girl you bring home as to whether it's your roommate on the couch, or your roommate and his gf on the couch. Shared house is a shared house. If it matters to you so much what a girl thinks, get your own place?

[Emilia]

You better get used to it. Room mates have their girlfriends over and have no regard for your single status and your wanting a quiet place without a 'domestic partnership'. Her sitting in the livingroom with a laptop doesn't sound particularly annoying or over the top to be honest.

 

If you don't like sharing your space, get something on your own. there are millions of people that do worse than sitting with a laptop.

[bubbaganoosh]

Well if you can hold out for the 2 or 3 months, then your problem will be solved.

 

In the mean time, when your roomie is there with you, let him know that his girlfriend being there once in a while is fine but it's got to the point where it interferes with your life style and it would be in his best interest to start looking for another place to live because your buying the house soon and there will be no more room mates living there.

 

You can do this in a way that you make your point but don't cause a ruckus.

[iiiii]

If you're both living in the house by agreement of the house owner, then you both have the right to invite guests around.

 

If you think she's there an excessive amount of time, it's fair to ask them to contribute more to the household bills.

 

Just about all your suggestions are immature and passive aggressive. I think any potential girl would be put off more by your attitude, than the fact that your flatmate's girlfriend is sitting on the sofa.

[Elle1975]

Not sure if I'd be cool with her in the house, and him away on errands. It's pushing the guest right a bit far..

 

I'd talk to her. Or both.

[RonaldS]

You should just bang her while he's gone.

[hellischrome]

Uhm, I am replying from the point of view of the GF who is always around... I sleep at my BF's place 4-5 nights per week, I rarely go there when he is not home but I do have the key. I tend not to occupy communal spaces, I clean after myself and I throw out garbage & stuff (because I am obsessed with it and I am afraid they won't do recycling properly!). We never had flatmates saying I was around too often, but the best thing you can do to 1) be OK in your own home 2) don't do dramas is just to ask your flatmate if they can hang out at her place sometimes, or simply that in this moment you need your own space in the house and would like more alone time there.

 

No need to do bad/nasty things, just tell them nicely :-)

[Raena]

It would be beneficial to you all if you could sit down and talk to them both about respecting your privacy and how much time is acceptable for the girlfriend to be there. Maybe set specific nights where you have the place to yourself.

 

The fact that you are negotiating buying the house makes a difference though. If that's really happening, you should let your roommate know so that he's prepared to move out should that happen.

[InnocentMan]

Hit on his gf while he's away running errands. It's a win/win. She either goes for it, or she tells her bf and he stops leaving her there alone with you. If that doesn't work, throwing her shoes in the street may be your only other option.

[gaius]

Is she actually driving up your costs? Does she plug her laptop in while you're forced to split the electric bill? Take hot water showers by herself? If that's the case it would be fair to ask your roommate to cover whatever extra costs she's incurring but getting this idea that she should split the rent since she's around a lot is just absurd. She's his guest and he pays his share.

[whichwayisup]

Is she actually driving up your costs? Does she plug her laptop in while you're forced to split the electric bill? Take hot water showers by herself? If that's the case it would be fair to ask your roommate to cover whatever extra costs she's incurring but getting this idea that she should split the rent since she's around a lot is just absurd. She's his guest and he pays his share.

 

But he doesn't pay, he's there for free due to the friendship with the owner of the house.

 

I do agree though since she is there a lot, she should at least help with groceries once in a while, do some dishes and clean up. She isn't technically living there but I'm sure she will have more sleepovers etc as time goes on.

[gaius]

But he doesn't pay, he's there for free due to the friendship with the owner of the house.

 

I do agree though since she is there a lot, she should at least help with groceries once in a while, do some dishes and clean up. She isn't technically living there but I'm sure she will have more sleepovers etc as time goes on.

Ok, but if utilities and stuff are included and she's not eating any of his food then he doesn't have much he can legitimately complain about. The most eye popping thing about this is that he wants her out so HE can bring over a girl whenever he wants.... Seems more like irrational jealousy that the roommates both not paying rent and getting laid.