Did I screw up or did he??

[nysnowbunny]

I would just like a little feedback on this. I began dating this guy in November. It was really good at first he would call me and talk to me for 30 to 40 minutes,and he would talk to me on the computer for a long time. Things were going good. He finaly invited me to his apartment but warned me it was messy. I was in shock when I went there it was more than messy it was a path. The first time I went I knocked on the door he did not answer,so I went to my car and called him he did not answer. So as I am backing out he calls and says did you just call? and I said yes... you did not answer door,he goes give me a few minutes I am predisposed so I waited 5 minutes and he came out and waved me in. Well I wasn' t there long and he was giving me a "Q" to leave so I got up and left and he never once touched me. On my way home he called me and talk to me for a few minutes and I told him he was a real gentlemen. Let me also add that I found it odd while there that first night he did not have cable he only had dsl (computer) he said he could not afford cable. So he wathced movies all the time.

 

Anyways as time went on I went back and we had sex, we had been talking alot and seeing each other a bit. Well when we were done I got my "Q" it was time to go. Well then things started to cool off,I knew he was a computer junky I could tell by what I had seen in his apartment,so my friend and I are talking and we decide to get on the personnal ads to see if he is there and there he was on two of them. So I questioned him and he said he had been on it two and half years and only had six responses and he was not a paid customer he could not afford it only paid customers were able to contact him he could not contact them. I ask him why he was keeping it on there and he told me he was keeping his options open. I went back once more and had sex with him, well I also went to his apartment other times not to have sex,and always never fails I get my "Q" to leave.

 

He started talking to me less and less and was always on IM and all of a sudden he has me on invisible most of the time. He would not answer the phone when I called. Just strange stuff,so I started accusing him of stuff because I knew he lived on his computer that is his life and he would say I only have 2 people on my buddy list you and my sister..it must have thought I was stupid! I couldn't understand why he was treating me this way so I would send him nasty emails and nasty Im's and I'd dump him and he would want me back..... Then he'd come on strong get me hopeful then back off and make me a crazy lady again.

 

I finaly had to know about his personnal ad I kinda felt that when he didn't have a girl off the personnals he was into me but when he did he wanted to keep me but he had a new focus another trophy. So my friend and I set him up she lives out of state,she IM's him and tells him she saw him on the personnals and was going to be coming here for 3 months to work and was looking for fun,and he fell for it ,I got my answer to he was a paid customer because only paid customers get the screenname. It was like all the things he said to her he was saying to me he was saying to her. I did not meet him on the net. Then she is showing him nude photos and he sends her a pic of his privates. Well during this time he is now ignoring me again talking a little but only to keep me there.

 

Well I am dumping him twice a week now and he keeps begging me back. Just all crazy and he is telling my friends I am nuts..I have never had a guy treat me like this. Well one night we went out to dinner when he was trying to come on strong again my friend IM"d him and told him she wouldn't be coming after all he wanted to do cybersex with her. So we go out to dinner he makes me pay for my own after dinner we went back to his apartment and I had to use the bathroom he made me wait in the kitchen and he cleaned up the toilet well I go in and look down in the garbage and there is a tampon...I was so mad I went out and said one of your girlfriends left there tampon behind I said I have to go now. All the way home I was fuming mad. Called him and told him it was over and he was saying it was his ex wifes plug and screaming at me then he goes I have a phone call and hung up.So I give him the benfit of the doubt but all this is eating at me so I send him a nasty email and tell him he is a liar and that I set him up and all that. Next day he doesn't go to work he keeps calling me finaly I answer and he isn't even mad he goes your slick your good I can't beleive you did that I don't want to lose you I want you in my life....so were back again.

 

Well things have been really tense alot of games here he says I am the one that has played the game he has been perfectly honest and upfront with me from the start. So I go to his apartment one last time we ended up having sex and it just wasn't the same and I knew then I had to be done with him when I got home I got on the net and he was on so I tried to talk to him and he was talking to a girl and told me he was and he would talk to me tomorrow. I emailed him and told him please no contact I could not do it anymore,well our jobs we kinda gotta cross paths every now and then and it just so happen that next day we had to so he came and told me he could not believe it he felt so cheap and used I had sex then dump him I did not plan it that way it just happened that way. So he says he will not contact me and that he was not looking and he hoped when I got my life straightened out I would look him up and give us a chance before I found someone else he wanted a future with me ...yada...yada.

 

So he has been talking to my friend and all this steam has been building up and he is hostile toward me...so my friend says call him and talk to him so I did yesterday and he was so rude and mean acted like it was all my fault for this that he has been completely honest and upfront and I was a nut case. Then he gets a phone call on the other line comes back says I'm on my way out the door ..Bye and that was it.He must have had a date because I have never ever heard of him speak of any friends and he never does anything that I can think of. So that was guess....

 

What I would like to know is does it sound like I am paranoid or do I have good reason to feel the way I do? I put him on ignore on my IM and I am not gonna talk to him anymore. I think he might hate me now anyways. I know he is really really mad and I do not think he will get over it. he says I played the game he played no games.. give me some feedback please!!

[JoL]

My god girl i thought my last relationship was complicated!! But yours takes the cake!

 

Ignore this guy. He is a lying, cheating sicko.

JUST IGNORE HIM!

No contact at all.

Ignore his calls. Ignore his emails. Ignore his messages...

I repeat NO CONTACT..it is THE best way to get over some.

 

Dont ask for anymore answer, this guy has been playing you all along..it is quite obvious.

 

Just avoid him, dont speak to him and find yourself a guy who isnt going to play games with you.

 

 

Seriously.

[HotCaliGirl]

Dear nysnowbunny - I feel so bad for you. I think you have to leave him as soon as possible and like JoL says, JUST IGNORE HIM and do not contact him any more. He does not care about you or your feelings and is interested in your company or some sex whenever he gets bored or rejected by another poor girl who sooner or later figures out how sleezy he is.

 

It is hard for you to see what he is because you have your feelings involved, but the longer he stays, the more you will get hurt. I can't believe your friend told you to call him to talk! and on top of it he was rude and mean...what a jerk.

 

You yourself should put an ad in the personals and meet a nice guy and as much as he will ask you back, do not get near him or talk to him... He is a dirty LOSER.

 

PS - Don't just put him on ignore in your IM list - DELETE him!!!

[nysnowbunny]

Thank you both for the feedback! I am trying really hard! I have not talk to him in a few days although he has tryed to call my cell a couple times and has left messages. It's a struggle because he is slick but I am gonna be strong I have to be!! I hope I can do this I have too! I am gonna keep reading what you have told me it gets me through it...it makes me strong! I am still having a hard time beleiving he could do this to me!!