I can't get over it. He sweet talked another female.

[lovelyazzy95]

Hello,

 

My name is Yazmin. I have been looking for a forum to post my story and hopefully get some advice and tips on how to get over it. I have been a 3 year relationship. About last year my boyfriend started college and so did i but we had totally different schedules at the time so i wasnt really around during his time at school. a few month into the semester he did mention he found a friend from his old high school named stephanie and i was actually happy for him. Howver he did mentioned her alot. We did spend lots of time together so i really didnt suspect nothing since he had morning classes. Time went by and the semester ended. We were happy and all. The yera went by and recently i was going thru his facebook and in this deletted messages i found out the whole truth about stephanie. He told her things that he wouldnt tell me, how beautiful she look and etc. I cant find a way toget past it. I need help.

[stillafool]

I'm so sorry you are hurt. Did you talk to him about it?

[lovelyazzy95]

Yes, He said he wont do it again it was a mistake. But this really sucks because there day i don't think about it but then there's day i do and it gets to me. He tells me that i have no self control and its disturbing how i think about it all the time. But i cant move on so quickly. It hurts.

[stillafool]

I can understand why you are hurt if he's never said the things to you that he said to her. I don't want to hurt you more but if he is telling her how beautiful she is he is probably trying to date her too.

[No Limit]

He tells me that i have no self control

 

Then he's an immature a$s who either doesn't care enough about you (anymore) to even consider your feelings just because it's uncomfortable for him to see what "emotional cheating" does to people.

He's invested in the relationship with this Stephanie rather than in the real relationship he has with you.

 

No offense but this makes him dump-worthy in my opinion. There are so many red flags even now, it won't end well for you I'm afraid.

[d0nnivain]

As you two made the transition from high school to college, you have both grown & changed. he clearly has other opportunities & may want to explore them as he is sort of kind of doing with this friend from high school. So far all you know is that he gave her compliments. The fact that he isn't speaking to you the same sweet way is problematic but only you know how problematic.

 

 

In young love when people aren't exploring, I'm inclined to err on the side of saving the relationship if possible. If he is truly repentant about what he said to her, I'd try to see past his verbal indiscretion. If it got physical between them, that's a different story.

 

 

The fact that he's now telling you that you have no self control is equally disturbing. Blaming the victim is not a good way to resolve this. He's the one who bent your trust (I'm not ready to characterize a few compliments as broke your trust) so he should be doing whatever it takes to reassure you.

 

 

All that said, more times then not young loves go the separate ways because it's too tough & unrealistic to hold a high school relationship together into adulthood.