Conflict with DJ

[mercuryshadow]

We chose our DJ because he had wonderful reviews and came highly recommended by our venue, plus he knows the layout of the place (for the purposes of setting up speakers, microphones, etc.) We met with him a couple of days ago to finalize our music, and it seems that we have different ideas about music than he does. He was really trying to push today's popular music on us, while we told him outright that it's really not our style. The music we choose for our wedding day should reflect OUR taste, right? Or am I wrong here? We thought about the crowd we'll have, and being that it's kind of a motley crue (lol), we told him it was okay to play SOME popular music. We also gave the okay for other genres, thinking about what our guests would enjoy. However, for the special moments of our reception (the bouquet toss, the garter, the cake cutting, our entrance music) he was really trying to impose music that in my opinion, is just way overused, and too "poppy" for our taste. He's waiting on a few more song ideas from us, but I really need to convey to him that we don't want this kind of music to be the majority of the music for the night. Any thoughts on how I can get this message across to him? He's a nice enough guy, but clearly has very different ideas about what "good music" is than we do.

[AnneT1985]

It's a DJ's job to sort of suggest what he sees fit and please the crowd however it's YOUR day.

 

 

I suggest a written list of "must play" songs given to him along with when you want them played written beside the specific song.

 

 

Best of luck to you! xx

[Eddie Edirol]

You also have to consider that Top 40 might be the only music he KNOWS how to DJ. A guy that knows how to get the wedding crowd dancing with top 40 doesnt necessarily know how to do it with say, Aerosmith of the 70s. He probably doesnt want to lose a gig, but he really should have told you from the get go that he cant DJ your party if he cant use only Top 40. Also he probably only does Top 40 because thats what the majority of parties ask for.

 

I suggest you look for a DJ that advertizes the type of music you want. if you go with a guy that isnt good at DJing your style, you might find yourself with an empty dance floor on your wedding day. Dont take that chance.

[mercuryshadow]

You also have to consider that Top 40 might be the only music he KNOWS how to DJ. A guy that knows how to get the wedding crowd dancing with top 40 doesnt necessarily know how to do it with say, Aerosmith of the 70s. He probably doesnt want to lose a gig, but he really should have told you from the get go that he cant DJ your party if he cant use only Top 40. Also he probably only does Top 40 because thats what the majority of parties ask for.

 

I suggest you look for a DJ that advertizes the type of music you want. if you go with a guy that isnt good at DJing your style, you might find yourself with an empty dance floor on your wedding day. Dont take that chance.

 

 

 

Oh, I wish we could choose another DJ, but we're only a month away from our wedding. When we met with him months back, he didn't really give us the impression that he was intent on only playing pop music. I guess we should have asked. Some of the more popular stuff is fine with us, like Daft Punk, perhaps... but some of his suggestions, for the bouquet toss, for instance, are just SO overused - he wants to play "All the Single Ladies" by Beyoncé for that, and suggested "Butterfly Kisses" for the father-daughter dance (I don't like that song, and besides, EVERYONE uses it). We're pretty unique in our taste in music, but I wouldn't say it's all that obscure or outlandish. Definitely not Aerosmith.

 

 

I guess we'll just have to find a happy medium. In all honesty, I can think of only maybe a handful of guests who would enjoy his suggestions (Britney Spears, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga).

[Eddie Edirol]

Oh, I wish we could choose another DJ, but we're only a month away from our wedding. When we met with him months back, he didn't really give us the impression that he was intent on only playing pop music. I guess we should have asked. Some of the more popular stuff is fine with us, like Daft Punk, perhaps... but some of his suggestions, for the bouquet toss, for instance, are just SO overused - he wants to play "All the Single Ladies" by Beyoncé for that, and suggested "Butterfly Kisses" for the father-daughter dance (I don't like that song, and besides, EVERYONE uses it). We're pretty unique in our taste in music, but I wouldn't say it's all that obscure or outlandish. Definitely not Aerosmith.

 

 

I guess we'll just have to find a happy medium. In all honesty, I can think of only maybe a handful of guests who would enjoy his suggestions (Britney Spears, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga).

 

 

Well for the Bouquet toss ,adn father daughter dance, its not like those whole place will be dancing, so Id say stand your ground on those. Im sure you can have a happy medium with much of the music. Maybe see if you can get him to confess what kind of music he isnt good at.

[d0nnivain]

What does your contract obligate him to do?

 

 

You're paying. He should play what you want.

[mercuryshadow]

What does your contract obligate him to do?

 

 

You're paying. He should play what you want.

 

 

Well, I looked over the contract again, and it made no mention of him adhering to specific genres, so I guess we're just going to have to stand our ground on some things.

[Stay_Gold]

I am a hobbyist DJ and I do weddings/parties/events.

 

The last 2 weddings I did...I played the music that the bride/groom wanted. I am 1 or the "rare"/"exception" DJ's that actually prefer to play the music the couple requests. I actually go over with every client the genres and songs that they like/want and I organize my playlist accordingly. I also ask them what the age group of the crowd would be like and what they think the crowd would like and listen to.

 

I have only done younger (20-30) couple weddings so even than...top 40's or whatever is hot on the radio is what I will play most of the time. I don't know how old you and your partner are...but in your case...if you guys are an older generation...than that’s where your problem is. The DJ was probably expecting a younger couple that "Likes" top 40, does not like the older stuff and that will likely invite/have a younger guest audience/crowd.

 

The problem is:

 

1. It’s a lot easier to mix and play top 40's with the DJ technology/equipment that we DJ's use as of right now. It’s too difficult to go between say…60’s rock…to 80’s new wave and than to top 40’s stuff…all in one setting. It’s a lot easier for a DJ to stay within 2-3 genres that is in 1-2 decades of each other. If he does try and play your “older genre/style” and than tries to play newer stuff to please the younger dancers in the crowd…it won’t be appealing to the ear and it creates what we call a “train wreck” and just doesn’t sound right.

 

2. I have been attending a lot of weddings lately and for some reason...its ONLY the YOUNGER GENERATION (18-30) of wedding attendees that will actually go up to the dance floor and DANCE ANYWAYS! So it’s only fitting that the DJ will play the top 40's. There is no point in playing old stuff if the ones that are dancing are the young people and the older people are either sitting at their tables doing nothing or at the bar getting drunk.

 

3. It doesn't really matter how old the bride and groom is and their taste/style in music. Because…if the ones that come up to the dance floor are the 18-25 yr olds…you can bet your money that the DJ will be playing top 40’s and not some 60’s rock. Because it’s the DJ’s job to please “everyone”…not just the bride and groom.

 

4. Dance floor “vibe” and “audience participation”. Sometimes to get a wedding "GOING"...top 40's is the ONLY and BEST way to do it. Goes back to reason #2. You would never want to start a party off with “THE BEATLES” parse. No one will come up to the dance floor. In order to get audience participation and dancers on the dance floor…the DJ “HAS TO” play top 40’s.

 

5. Younger generation crowd/dancers always “TRUMP” the older crowd/generation. They actually have what I call “first priority”. It’s the young bucks that fill up the dance floor and need/like the attention on the dance floor. So…it’s the young bucks that you should try and please/fulfill the most. For this reason…I ALWAYS tell my clients that no matter what their age, musical taste and style…I will always satisfy the younger people in the crowd first and foremost.

 

HAHA...nothing worse than seeing your youth as probably the most fun and excitement you will only and ever have had by trying to recapture it with your wedding day...BUT instead...witnessing that the younger people (and those that can stay young both in looks and personality) will always TRUMP people that look and act older and that will always feel left out, lonely and resented when seeing younger people having fun.

 

"Youth/beauty TRUMPS old/ugly".

 

Sorry if I just analyzed you or some of your lives to the "T" but its the reality and truth. People who can hold on to their youth longer and better...tend to live happier, fuller/funner lives.

 

Hope this helps. Sorry if it was long. Just my 2 cents.

 

If anything…try and look for a DJ that “WILL PLAY” your style/music. Because in the end…it is “your special day”! And that matters too.

 

Last resort…do your “own” DJing. It’s not that hard to pick all the songs that you like and want and put them in an organized playlist that will sound good on an IPOD or MP3 player. Hook it up to some speakers and your good to go!

Edited May 2, 2014 by Stay_Gold

[Tayla]

Well, I looked over the contract again, and it made no mention of him adhering to specific genres, so I guess we're just going to have to stand our ground on some things.

 

Contracts can be negotiated and written to YOUR liking. This is about a Service being provided. Have it tailor made to your request. YOU ABSOLUTELY can tell the DJ what you want and what to stay away from. This is not an area where you even need to bend. You write the check, he needs to listen. write down exactly what genre and which songs are imparative for your event. If he so much as veers from it,have it in the contract that he loses Xpercentage of final sums due. When it hits the pocket it amazing how they will accomodate your specific requirements.

[mercuryshadow]

Thanks for your insight, everyone. Just to be clear, we are both 30... Today's pop music is just not our style. When the DJ mentioned JLo, Britney Spears, and Beyonce, it just screamed "tacky" to me. We just aren't fans.