Opportunity For Revenge

[TheyCallMeOx]

Typically, I'm a "better man" kind of guy. I don't like getting revenge because most people don't deserve my time. However...I really do feel like I'm justified in these circumstances. My younger sister practically became best friends with my ex-girlfriend when she broke up with me. That really disappointed me because I always thought that family looks out for each other. As her big brother, I knew that my sister didn't want her ex-boyfriend to stay in her life which is why I didn't pursue a friendship with the dude. I could've, I wanted to, but I felt like it was the right decision to not get involved. I would've heard a lot of things about my sister that I probably didn't want to hear, and I didn't want that kind of drama. I did that for my sister, because I felt it was the right thing to do. However, she became best friends with her, got her a better job, and things like that. I'm over my ex-girlfriend, but now I'm just pissed off.

 

My sister graduates in May, and she really wants me to be there. However, I really want to NOT turn up. I want her to graduate, have a party afterwards, and I'm not going to be there. When she asks me, if she asks me, why I wasn't there, I'm just gonna tell her...now you know how it feels to be disappointed.

 

You may think "well, why don't you just tell her how you feel?" I did. You think she gives a **** about how I feel? After all, you can't stop people from becoming friends. It's her life, and she does what she wants. I just don't know what to do because on one hand...I love my sister, and I would be willing to do anything for her, but the feeling ain't reciprocated. I've been battling anger for quite some time with my sister and it's been really affecting our relationship. I just don't know what to do that'll make me happy because getting that kind of revenge on my sister would SURE BE NICE.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I understand how this might upset you but again, your actions will ONLY be hurting YOU and NOT her!

 

You said yourself that she doesn't give a damn about your feelings so what do you think your absence at her graduation is going accomplish exactly? Do you really think those shenanigans will suddenly infuse empathy, remorse or even action in her where she'll come to her senses, apologize and drop her BFF? I seriously doubt it.

 

If you're asking for my humble opinion, you are just going to further damage your relationship with your sister. So maybe you were the "better" man in not remaining friends with her ex but that doesn't mean that your sister loves you any less. Did she become friends with your ex out of spite? I doubt it. It sounds like they just hit it off and has NOTHING to do with you at all.

 

Don't make problems where there aren't any. Seriously. I get it that it might be somewhat uncomfortable hanging out with your ex but if you're honest about being over your her, then grow up and stop making this about YOU already. Seeking revenge on your SISTER of all people is about as low of a denominator as you can get in my opinion.

[d0nnivain]

In the grand scheme of the world of revenge, what you propose is pretty mild. If you really think this will punish your sister & make you feel better, go ahead. FWIW, I doubt it will accomplish either goal & may stir up all sorts of family drama. Proceed at your own risk.

[CC12]

This could very well end your relationship with your sister. If you're at the point where you don't care about your relationship with her, then just quietly disengage without resorting to purposely hurting her.

 

I don't think boycotting her graduation is on the same level at all as her being friends with someone. She's not doing anything wrong, really, you just don't agree with the choices she's making. She's not doing anything to you. She's not trying to hurt you. You're trying to hurt her. It seems unfair.

 

If you must get some sort of petty revenge on your sister, do it another time. Her graduation is supposed to be a joyous occasion for her. It's a celebration of years of hard work. It's kind of a big deal, and she's going to remember the events of that day for a long time. Don't make it about you.

[Grumpybutfun]

Time to grow up and stop making every slight you perceive as something life shattering. One day due to your actions or inactions, your little sister will decide she no longer wants your drama and will stop inviting you and wanting you to be in her life.....that is when you will figure out that sometimes bridges are burned due to slights and hurt feelings and nothing in the world can rebuild them.

Do what you want, but I think if your sister invited you and you still love each other, you would be a fool to let some ex who doesn't give one god damn about you get in the way of family. You're the older brother, don't leave it to your little sister to make the right choices, she will learn from you how to be loving and forgiving.

Best,

Grumps

[Smilecharmer]

This isn't revenge, it is passive aggressive controlling behavior. Your sister can be friends with whom she wants...did she break you two up or steal her romantically for herself because that is what you are acting like...overreacting IMO.

[TAV]

OP, I'm a loyal person like you are and I do understand how you feel betrayed and hurt by your sister not showing you the same loyalty regarding your ex-gf.

 

I would walk over hot coals for the people I love but unfortunately not everyone is the same and this can really hurt people like you and me since we expect the same kind of loyalty/sacrifice from others. I've learnt not to expect too much from people and let myself be pleasantly surprised when someone takes a stand on my behalf.

 

However, I do agree with the others that staying away from her graduation won't accomplish what you want and will probably just fill you with regret. All you can basically do is try to explain to her as best as you can how her betrayal has hurt you and hope that some of what you said will stick with her if ever such a situation presents itself again.

[todreaminblue]

I think there is a quote about digging two graves...dont ya just love google here it is

 

 

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

Confucius quotes (China's most famous teacher, philosopher, and political theorist, 551-479 BC)

 

 

its a lose/ lose situation wont do you any good.......wont do her any good so lose lose

 

 

maybe what you saw in your ex, to choose to go out with her, is maybe what quality or qualities your sister sees ...what you liked about her......your sister likes or whatever ....i am also big on loyalty but with getting loyalty you have to give it that means you are loyal to someone even when you dont agree what they have said or done to you...you can get pissed for a while ...but if you are a loyal person who expects loyalty.....you cant also be vengeful............you have to decide what you stand for...i vote loyalty......even if someone behaves like a dick you can not understand, you tell him or her look you are being insensitive to the way i feel so give me some space to gt over it.....but you remain loyal........being loyal means wanting the best for someone even when they hurt your feelings or dont behave the way you expect them too.....loyalty goes both ways....i dont think in the code of loyalty or appropriate sisterly conduct does it say sisters shalt not be friends with people i have dated..life is fleeting you never know when you should have to say goodbye to someone you care about, you might not even get to say goodbye so dont leave arguments festering ...let them go..... dont waste time and practice loyalty on the way you will not regret a single action that you take, in that being an action that shows forgiveness or you appreciate someone in your life....loyalty involves forgiveness...as well as stoicism.....best wishes..deb

Edited May 4, 2014 by todreaminblue