How to cope with no friends/relationship

[madgirl1991]

I guess i just want advice on how to cope. Don't tell me ways to improve the situation, I can't improve it. Dont tell me to get a life, i already have an education, good job, am fit, have hobbies and try my best to 'get out there and meet people.'

 

I remember praying since I was in primary school, God, help this to be the year I make frineds in my class. Every year before school would start, I'd read books about how to make friends, think of conversation topics and develop a 'plan' for it. It never worked, I always ended up being friends with whatever other loser didn't have friends. Once we graduated high school, we didn't stay friends because I guess..they were just using me. I would have liked to stay in touch but i can't control them.

 

Went to uni, have been attending church and social clubs for years...no friends. i am always the outside. The one they say hello to, politely chat for a few minutes, then go over to their real friends. I get invited to social activities when the really inclusive, leaders of the groups issue a general invite. But never specific hangouts between a few people. I can't remember the last time I did something one on one. I am too scared to initiate things, for fear of rejection and honestly, I don't know if I will have anything to say after a few minutes. At work, my colleagues are men, in their early 30s to fifties, all settled down and buying houses, having babies etc. I am single, 23, female, live with my family..nothing in common to become friends over.

 

Today, I got really sad. My church bible study group planned to go to the beach, but then when I arrived at the place we were supposed to meet, turns out everyone had organised to go in small carpool groups. No one had bothered to invite me along in their carpool, or even tell me what was happening,. Which sucks, because I have driven some of these people before when they needed a ride.

 

I'm at my whits end. I have tried dating, online and offline, for three years. I can't get a boyfriend. My parents are in their late 60s/70s, and my siblings are in their 30s with families in other parts of the country. i'm going to fking die alone. Every weekend rolls around, i have no plans (unless i organise a date with someone online). Even when the dates dont work out, there is no interest in being friends again. I have facebook "friends" from onine who chat to me when bored, but they are all guys who just want to hook up, they arent there for me when i really need a friend or want to go out and do something with someone.

[madgirl1991]

Also: I have asked different people what is wrong with me, is there a way i can improve myself to connect with people? She said, no, there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe some people just want to be friends with the types of people they think are cool (ie: im not cool, im short and a minority group, not a funny person). Some older mentors tell me i have a great heart and am awesome, but mayhbe they aer just encouraging me cuz thats their job/personality. Guys who like me/date me (then dump me)/**** me tell me I'm pretty, fun and smart. But i dont know..maybe they are just saying that to stay in my good books.

[madgirl1991]

Honestly, I just feel like what is the point of getting out of bed (besides for work). Whats the point of intersets, if i can't share them with other people? Every day is the same, go to work, work out, do something fun (alone), then sleep. Then weekend, i just lie in bed. I feel myself less and less moivated to go and try make friends/meet a guy because after so many years, im still fking alone.

 

I just want to die. I wouldnt actually kill myself but this is how it feels. Lately, I've started baking heaps of cakes and eating them all by myself. I have gotten visibly fatter (though still look fit for someone my age). I just know im going down a bad path on this one... im seeing a therapist about the friends issues but all she does is agree with me... i just...dont know what to do. Someone out there please help me. Im tired of crying in bed. I just want someone to be my friend and have fun together and be there the next day too.

[ja123]

I am so sorry. I can really feel the pain in your post.

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What to "do" advice, I think, would only sound like a platitude at this point and would probably feel even more alienating.

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You need the sincere care of a good friend.

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All I can really say is that sometimes it looks like the "others" are having fun and living the good life, but may really feel on the outside. I hope you do not judge your situation based on the appearances of others.

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I remember going to an outdoor concert with a musician, and he was feeling so lonely and distraught in spite of his many accomplishments and all the people he knew. He felt that the musicians playing had it made and that all the people in the audience were all happy and carefree. The only way I felt I could cheer him up was to have a beer, and get into the music and dance. During the concert he started to laugh and forget himself. I told him look at us now - anyone looking would think that we had the "perfect" life. He laughed and felt some sort of relief.

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That being said, he, like many others including myself, often forget to "practice gratitude" (google that) and can end up looking at our lives in only bleak and negative terms all the while discounting all the good through our distorted filter.

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It is really hard though to get by when, for any extended period of time, one does not feel cared for and loved. Just being with someone who can share our good moments and bad, listen to our dreams, encourage us, and have our backs.

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In spite of all the people I know and all the things I do, it often feels like I have to start the dance and it is tiring and at some point the realization that it is sad - very sad - kind of hits you and you just want to cry, but no one listens, dries your tears, hugs you, or makes you a cup of tea. So, you are not alone in the way you are feeling.

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So, I am sending you a virtual hug over the internet.

..

(((((((( Hugs )))))))))

[preraph]

Anyone who has the problem of not being able to attract of keep friends needs to invest in therapy to find out what is going on and get an objective view and learn something about yourself. If it's fear-driven, the therapist will root out that fear and air it and maybe make it go away. If it's a disorder or a character flaw, they will bring that to your attention and get you to work on it. It's a big deal, not being able to make or keep friends. It means you need some work.

[StalwartMind]

It is a good topic and a lot of people struggle with the feelings you mention, even people whom are supposedly happy and in good relationships. I do believe that no matter what, you need to journey inward, in order to find some kind of peace. This doesn't mean you wont feel the negative things you do, but you need to find a starting point of what you expect from others and yourself.

 

From what you write, you "shouldn't" have any problems with meeting someone and create something meaningful, however that's never a guarantee for success. If I had to assess you, I'd be curious as to what your goals and expectations are of friendship/relationship. As with most things, you learn more about a person, the more time and effort you put into them. Of all the friendships I've had in past, I never thought much about any of them, they just naturally started and ended at one point.

 

Assuming you know what kind of character traits appeals to you, this should be something you actively pursuit, once you've found a person whom is of interest to you. Any person on this planet has potential to be a friend, it really depends on your own preferences. I take pleasure in someone whom enjoys the same things as me, but i also have a pretty open mind to expand my interests/hobbies always to new areas. In fact sometimes a friend/person can make you interested in topics you previously weren't.

 

While this may be dreamy/unfortunate, I believe there are plenty of people around the world whom could really enjoy each others company and create amazing lives together, but finding each other/living close is the none exciting and unlucky part. I'm sure it has been said many times before, but if you can find someone decent, then you have the potential of creating something amazing together.

 

I don't judge anyone negatively for having different opinions or preferences than myself, people's actions just makes me put them in different categories. Regardless of what you "need" and "expect" of a friend and a relationship, it's pretty important you make sure you do something that will make you content, happy and comfortable.

 

You may fear rejection, however if you can speak to someone as you write here, then you shouldn't fear much. The right person/people, will take interest and care for you. They will listen and encourage you to open up and feel safe. I know that it may be easier to write as an anonymous person on an internet forum, however these abilities still translate into "real life" (not a fan of writing real life, as everyone here is a real person).

 

Truthfully depending on the type of relationship you seek, even if it means making one vulnerable, it is often pretty good to open up to someone, whether it's someone you meet in real life or anywhere, you'll be able to find out fast enough if the person will genuinely care.

 

It's easy to become negative, and feel like life is just a long grind for nothing and then you die, I'm sure many people don't like that, but we all owe it to ourselves to find some kind of way to let things make sense. It's entirely up to you and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, even if of course it's nice if someone agrees and shares that same idea.

 

I don't know how important religion is to you, as you mention the bible and going to church and I'm assuming you live in the USA. In case it's important to you that your friend/relationship is of the same nature, it may decrease the type of people you can associate with. I come from a very none religious country, people are just respectful of each other no matter they believe in or not. My point is that, people are their own limit in regards to everything they do and try.

 

You seem like a healthy and sound enough lady, if I met you I'd not write your company off. That may not be much of a compliment as I believe anyone deserves a chance, and well you can't judge people properly until you get to know them.

 

The only real problem with today's world is that a common tendency is to treat everything (even people) as things you can easily throw away and replace. While this may be negative, you just need to keep looking and hopefully you'll one day find someone whom can put off a spark in your heart and mind.

 

Find strength and believe in yourself, because the worst thing any of us can do is underestimate ourselves or others. I'm sure someone else can write something even better and more inspiring, but nonetheless here's to hoping you find something useful in this thread.

[todreaminblue]

I understand you feel alone....i think i know something that is potentially worse being in a relationship but yet still, feeling alone and not understood......

 

 

I know that I often used to feel alone in my longest relationship to date and so I bought a rottweiler.....we did lots of roadwork my rottie called bear and i .......she listened when i spoke to her...intently listened and she shared my dreams with me with her goofy rottie grin..she was my bestest bud unconditional love and loyalty...eventually after having her for twelve years she died......and that year a lot of my dreams died with her

 

i depended on her always being there and she was going to be the worlds oldest rottie in my deluded mind because i looked after her so well.....there is a moral to this story.....not just writing it to depress you even more....

 

 

bear gave me twelve of the best ....years that is...she was just there when a boyfriend came and went,friends moved on and strays that i collect move on, she was there for the tears and the laughs ...she loved cuddles......she loved me..and i adored her......and i placed a lot of my happiness on having her around .....so when she was gone so was my happiness.......for about a year i became reclusive even more so than before.....

 

 

you cant place your happiness in the hands or paws of another.....it has to come from inside of you to be truly happy because friends, boyfriends and rotties sometimes leave...if they are your source of happiness then that goes with them

 

 

I dont know if you have an animal but if you dont, owning a dog does give a different outlook on life in general, i have often stopped to talk to people or people have stopped me to talk to me while walking my dogs....and i enjoy meeting people........i go to church too with a strong service to others motto, there's lots of lonely peopLE out there.....who need A friend just like you,dont look at people as losers with no friends thats why you made friends with them, they arent losers.......neither are you.....

 

 

 

over the years I have done volunteer work ...the state emergency services gave me some great memories and i made friends with a team of motivated to help others people.they were however mainly guys...they were cool and accepting.....i was the youngest there.....volunteer work is a great way to meet caring kind and considerate people who do work for free for love of helping others....and you get to see life can be a lot worse than what you have or could have in the future.......if you want your life to change you have to change it if you want happiness then you have to find it in you first......i know its hard to fin d...but if i am doing something i love to do...i am happy....

 

 

 

..like i love church..or dancing...my family....my xena rottie ...;0) or singing hymns(like a strangled seal but i love it).so i am mostly happy when i go to church whether i get spoken to or not...just to be there makes me happy...i do consider them my friends...i am not the easiest person to understand or know....they accept me and i feel mostly accepted cant please everybody though...........what is it you really love to do, see , be or feel?

[SpiralOut]

im seeing a therapist about the friends issues but all she does is agree with me...

 

Find a new therapist. A good one should not be agreeing with everything you say, but pointing out the inconsistencies of what you say and asking questions that make you re-think things.

 

I find it very telling that you referred to your highschool friends as "losers" who had no other friends and they were just "using" you. I am wondering if your attitude towards them (thinking they are losers) came across and they stopped talking to you for that reason. Sometimes our attitudes come across without us realizing it.

[littleplanet]

When I was a kid, my mom told me that good friendship was an art. As I wanted to grow up one day to become a performing artist, and eventually did, I took that advice to heart.

 

But in spite of a long life full of wonderful friendships - my best friend?.......is the one who lives inside. Has been - since I was exactly your age.

 

Short list of your attributes:

education/intelligence

attractiveness

religious values

ability to write/express/communicate

 

Those are good attributes.

 

You're laboring under all that your past adds up to. That's understandable.

 

About winners and losers: there is strong conditioning in our society to categorize people into groupings, to judge based on surface image, and to worship success, accomplishment, attainment of the material and monetary, to like what "looks" likeable.

 

"You only get 5 seconds to make that good first impression." Balderdash.

It can take 5 years to know someone well enough to substantiate what it is you really like about them. People are not fast food, or instant gratification.

 

As to coping mechanisms? Don't give up. Hopelessness is a lousy feeling to constantly live with, and also something that you project outward. It takes a certain amount of confidence to meet the world with a genuine smile. Try that sometime with your own bathroom mirror. (The one who smiles back is a likeable human.)

 

Humor is a wonderful thing (another thing I learned when I was 23.)

People are funny. They really are. They can knock you out. They try so damned hard not to be, but it's a losing battle.

Ironically - religion teaches an awful lot of compassion for that. It's what makes us the precious creatures we are.

 

What is it about people you actually like? It's possible to find someone outrageously likeable without ever being their friend. But that starts with you. It is entirely what you have control over.

 

You have been waiting your whole life for that first friend to show up. That is a helluva powerful thing. Emotional baggage to beat the band. It doesn't make you worthless. It makes you special.

 

But heck. Friends are just people who like each other (for whatever reason.)

Good friends are the ones who cross over into something genuine.

 

Starts with liking. A dog, a bird, a squirrel, a favorite tree, a book, a song, a little kid, an old shopkeeper.......and the list is endless.

 

Alone is the thing we can never negotiate in this life. We're born alone, and die alone, and are given a lifetime sentence inside our own skin. That was a helluva lousy trick the Lord played on us. But oh.......the wisdom inside what balances that out?

Lonliness.

That is what gets us up off our butt doing things. Making an effort. Reaching out. Even if it's just words typed on a screen and bounced around in a public forum.

 

And finally: fear of initiating an overture of friendship is of course, due to fear of rejection. Pride, self-respect mixes nicely with humility. Not humiliation.

That is what doing anything for anybody voluntarily is all about. Because you care enough. A good person will express gratitude for your effort. Not a bad deal.

 

All it takes is one friend to tip the iceberg. One is a whole different number from zero.

 

Why is it that so many kids have imaginary friends? They're exploring possibilities........

Be creative.

 

Good luck to you.

[Armegoggon]

You really sound like somebody who's in a very similar situation than me, only thing is I'm a guy. Yeah over the past week or 2, it's started to heat up for me lol. As for those people who interacted with you, well did you try contacting them before they were graduated? Maybe Facebooked? If they used you, try to use them back for things you know.

 

Well if you have a job, it's a big difference between my situation than yours. Honestly, because you have a job, it gives you money so it has more options of happiness. I'm sure later on, guys would want you because of your great work experience. I remember before graduating high school, I got a job and I did like it the way I got some money to fill my time of depression. I may have never made friends, but it sure did help.

 

As for looks, since you claim to be fit, perhaps guys are supposed to like it. I'm well, fit but I can't understand myself sometimes as to what is wrong with women not liking me.

 

So you've actually tried online dating and zero success? Have you actually met a boy from the internet? I'm sure that a fit girl like you is likely going to get their inboxes filled. I'm surprised that you couldn't even get close. For me, obviously because I'm a guy, I rarely, if ever get any messages in my box.

 

Have you had a boyfriend before the dating sites?

 

If I met you, I'd really give you a shot at dating me lol. Trust me, you are in a situation that isn't as worse as me so taking the next step shouldn't be too hard.

 

As for coping it, I think you don't seem like it's the easiest thing to do is let the day pass. I'm sure there's lots of guys who are in a very similar situation as you and really struggle.

 

Also, if you don't mind me asking, how many messages do you get on average on dating sites? Do you respond all/most of them? Do you message first too often?

Edited May 8, 2014 by Armegoggon

[madgirl1991]

Thanks everyone, for your kind and detailed responses.

 

A lot of my problem is my attitude. After reading your responses, I decided to just try and find happiness within. So although I participate in the same social activities and hope to find friends, I am also looking for happiness in the small things everyday, a fun dance class I enjoy, a good song, spending time with my mum and my pets, being productive at work..you get the picture!

 

To the guy who says he is just like me, above. Yes, I tried online dating to find a relationship, I also have been asked out a few times from the real world. However, the guys who persue me for a relationship are not the kind I can see myself with long term. I want someone i fnd reasonably attractive, who is not overweight, is at least 5'10 and has a white collar job. When I encounter a guy like this, he will chase me for awhile, date me for a month or two then claim he 'just wants to have fun.' Alternately, when I give guys a chance that I am not that attracted to or don't have white collar jobs (eg: tradies, retail workers) it just feels awkward and any mutual interest dies after one date. I kind of give up on the whole thing. Sure, my presence is online and I flirt a little if i meet a cute guy out, but I don't put any hopes into these guys anymore.

[madgirl1991]

I had two long term boyfriends (6 months/ 2 years) between ages 18 and 21. I met them online, chatted for a few weeks then they persued me and we went on a date. I was not attracted to them immedietely but by the end of the date we had esablished a great connection or their looks had grown on me (which doesn't happen when i date guys these days). They didn't have good jobs, but I gave them a chance back then because I was a uni student and not necessarily looking for a long term partner. They always used to tell me how out of their league I was.

 

Since we broke up, both remain single. Incidentally, they make more money than me now! They don't have many options dating wise, because they aren't conventionally attractive.

[madgirl1991]

How many messages do i get?

 

Well, on the dating sites, i get from 1-8 messages a day. Depends how active i am myself (when you are online you show up to more people). Sometimmesi get frustrated and close my account, then open it up a few months later. Then my inbox gets flooded, say 15 messages a day. Bear in mind, I have been on these sites years. I have already chatted to or met in person most of the guys who frequent the sites so I think my pool of options is small compared to other gilrs. If i go on Tinder, when i swipe, i am 'liked back' 90% of the time. I am surprised if the guy didn't like me back.

 

When I go out to a club, its the bottom 20% of guys (popularity, looks wise) that will approach me to dance. Basically the ones that no one else gives a chance to. At the same time, sometimes dudes from the top 20% will dance with me, buy me drinks, but 99% of the time they are just trying to get in my pants for the night. I am almost never approach by 'average' guys.

 

When I go to church and other social activities, 90% of men do initiate conversation with me ever. I try to be friendly with them when the chance comes, especiallly if i see them being friends with other minority group, short girls (who i would consider less attractive than me - eg they are plump or dont dress well etc). The guys politely respond to me then go back to their own friends. They don't ask questions or seem interested in getting to know me. Shrug.

[Armegoggon]

Well since you're getting messages back, there's a good chance you'll end up getting a date. Btw, do you usually reply those messages?

[madgirl1991]

Haha i spent two years doing that! It never got me anything other than dates with men I wasn't interested in, or flings with men I wanted to be with, but didn't want to be with me long term. I probably went on 100 dates and talked to thousands of men (i was on four different sites). Probabalistically, its not going to work..

[johnpatric]

If you want to make a new friends than you have to Spend more time around people.Join an organization or club with people who have common interests. Join a sports team. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, but not all teams are so competitive.

Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church but you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people.

Make eye contact and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship.

Introduce yourself at the end of the conversation. It can be as simple as saying "Oh, by the way, my name is...".

Don't do anything to pressure someone into being friends with you.

Choose your friends wisely. As you befriend more people, you may find that some are easier to get along with than others.

Don't separate your friend from the rest of the group.

Keep in Contact. Many people often times lose contact with their friends because they're either too busy, or just don't value their friends enough.

[madgirl1991]

Thats a good point johnpatric.

 

I pretty much avoid people, even when they say hello I just keep the chat short for fear of boring them. Today after church someone asked what i'm doing, i said i was busy, they said oh i was thinking we could have done something. the truth is, i was just gonna go home and sleep! lol Maybe i could have organised something. You are all kinda on the mark about not putting myself out there, really, i mean i just meet people but then dont try and persue.

[esteem-jam]

OP, you need to stop giving ratings to people - %, height, income. Thats what I did in 7th grade. I find it strange coming from a religious person.

I admit I still judge people, but watch your mind.

Remember - with the harshness you judge, you will be judged back.

[littleplanet]

Thats a good point johnpatric.

 

I pretty much avoid people, even when they say hello I just keep the chat short for fear of boring them. Today after church someone asked what i'm doing, i said i was busy, they said oh i was thinking we could have done something. the truth is, i was just gonna go home and sleep! lol Maybe i could have organised something. You are all kinda on the mark about not putting myself out there, really, i mean i just meet people but then dont try and persue.

 

 

Hmmm. There's a reason we're probably all on the mark about you not putting yourself out there.

Your self-esteem seems healthy enough to me.

But really, aren't you looking for Mr Right (whoever that might be) and being pretty picky? Nothing wrong with that.

 

But.........you might have bumped into Mr Right a dozen times by now, and your attitude put him off.

Chances are, Mr Right (if that is what you're looking for) isn't going to have shallow attitudes.

Now - don't get me wrong. I'm not throwing this at you to judge.

But if you're really that picky, you have to accept the fact that this narrows down the field considerably. (And that goes for friendships, too.)

 

People happen to like being accepted for themselves - for who and what they are. They're not inclined to knock themselves out trying to be something they're not....for someone they might feel attracted to.

This works both ways.

Think about it: you're not inclined to knock yourself out, either.

 

A lesson in humility? Perhaps.................

 

Humble - means something entirely different than humiliation.

[Armegoggon]

Haha i spent two years doing that! It never got me anything other than dates with men I wasn't interested in, or flings with men I wanted to be with, but didn't want to be with me long term. I probably went on 100 dates and talked to thousands of men (i was on four different sites). Probabalistically, its not going to work..

 

Haven't been on for a while but seeing this, what's the big thing that you really want from men?

 

What stands out about your mind that you'd want men to have?

 

What were the most notable things that those men were missing? Maybe try lowering your standards a slight bit?

Edited May 16, 2014 by Armegoggon

[Valen]

Thats a good point johnpatric.

 

I pretty much avoid people, even when they say hello I just keep the chat short for fear of boring them. Today after church someone asked what i'm doing, i said i was busy, they said oh i was thinking we could have done something. the truth is, i was just gonna go home and sleep! lol Maybe i could have organised something. You are all kinda on the mark about not putting myself out there, really, i mean i just meet people but then dont try and persue.

 

It sounds like you are not very open to new friendships and dating if you try to cut your interactions with others to a minimum. I used to do that too. My co-workers would invite me to go hang out with them, and I always decline preferring to go home and just surf the net then go to bed. Eventually they don't invite me anymore. So I made a conscious decision to be a more positive person and be more outgoing. I made plans to watch a movie and invited everyone from work. 3 people showed. And now these 3 people invite me out sometimes too so now I have 3 new friends. Remember you get out what you put in. You gotta motivate yourself to go spend time with people. Friendships aren't build overnight, it takes time. And for relationship, you just have to be ready when someone good comes along. You're not going to meet any guy staying home.

[madgirl1991]

What do i want from friends?

 

People to do silly things with (go out, watch movies), support each other and create lifelong memories together.

 

What do i want from men?

 

Well, its been so long since I had a good man in my life. I really can't remember what's its like or the main benefits lol. I guess, it would be..

 

1. Someone to do mundane everyday **** with, like lazing on bed on a sunday morning, cooking together, walks.

2. Expand my social options. Right now, I only hang out with other single people. When they get a partner, i can count on them being less available, then when they break up, they are more available again. If i had a boyfriend, then when my best friend (the only person i know wiht a long term boyfriend) invited her other couple friends out, i could go too. I could probably make friends with other girls/guys in relationships, cuz we'd have more in common. Girs in relationships tend to always talk about their significant other and things 'we' did together. I get annoyed/jealous after awhile cuz for me, there is no 'we.'

3. Romantic things, like spoil each other on valentines day, celebrate birthdays, attend family/work events together.

4. Eventually get married, have kids etc.

5. To unexpose me to the biases in this world against single people. One thing that pisses me off right now, is I have worked my butt off to save 100k (when i was living at home) for a house depoist. Yet, i can only buy cheap, ugly houses. Yet girls i know of, who were irresponsible with money and waste it on expensive makeup and clothes are now moving into beautiful houses, they can buy because their 'partner' contributes both income and house deposit money. I feel ripped off. Like i have to work harder to get to the same standard of living. When i come home, i have to cook for myself and clean. They can share the tasks. I have to make big decisions on my own, i don't have anyone who will have my back (aside from family).

[madgirl1991]

PS: god it sucks. The only guys who like me and think im amazing are married men whose wives have gained weight and are older now. And 30 year old men. One of my married men friends told me today he thinks i'm amazing, and understands why older men are attracted to me now. He said its because i'm very intelligent and older men like that. Its true, i get baffled by the joking around/shallow conversations other people have. It makes me tired. I try and join in but im not very good at it either. Maybe that contributes to my lack of friends.

[ayala]

This is how I dealt with my loneliness: (I was abandoned by some low lives that said they considered me a "friend" but walked away without a word)

 

I played video games, studied harder, and watched a lot of anime/manga. I got a lot of ideas of how I wanted my life to be and invented it in story-writing where I controlled the story.

 

I'm not saying any of this "fixed" me but it did keep me going for awhile. I began to enjoy my solitude and became irate when someone bothered me sometimes lol But now I work on towards having a happy medium between being friendly with acquaintances and doing my own thing. It's taken years but it was at a pace I was at ease with.

 

I'm an introvert by nature but I wouldn't want it any other way. I became happy with being by myself first and after that, it was a lot easier being myself around other people because I was more relaxed and comfortable with myself.

 

Good luck

[madgirl1991]

Yep ayala! That's the way to do it haha