joseyposie Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 when my last boyfriend/fience' would have sex with me he wouldn't kiss me or give foreplay and watch a porno video when he was doing me? was he dreaming that he was having sex with the porno girl and not me? i used to close my eyes and then i opened them and found him looking at the video and no even knowing i was there. also why does sex only last a total of 5 min. do men last longer? i haven't had sex longer than five min total. why don't they want to give foreplay or kiss just stick it in? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Because HE is a selfish idiot? Sorry.. but when you're with someone who is all about themselves that way, and is doing nothing to make it good for you.. that just means they're selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
WalkingTall Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 I really have to agree with Merin here... as with most of her posts. This guy you are talking about really has issues. He may be so into porn and his fantasies that he NEEDS that to get aroused. Or he has no respect for you or your needs / desires. And yes sex does last longer than 5 minutes. When you are in love with someone, natural need to see them enjoy what you are doing takes over. The biggest pleasure I can have is to see the woman I am with totally enjoy whatever we are doing together. My idea of "sex"- which I am sure lots of men would agree - starts in the morning, doing what I can to help her out and vice versa with chores. Making the chores easier with a passionate kiss here and there, soft teasing words of what I want to do with her later on, soft gentle touches on certain erogenous (non-genital) areas. I ask myself what would allow my partner to relax, a bath? A massage? A meal ready for her when she comes over? Or something that is full of thought.... Like a video compilation set to music of the webcam messages and pictures taken together with a soft background of her fav romantic music. The ideas are endless. Anyway I digress as always. My point is the romance should be included in the sex. Because it doesn't start when intercourse begins. It starts each and every morning when the day begins. Continues through the day, with shared responsibilities, little teases, through to stimulating one another manually / orally for hours if possible, and then orgasm, hopefully for the both of you, and basking in the love that you just expressed to each other while falling asleep in each others arms. For some they prefer the quick and dirty.... but I save those for times when getting caught may be a problem You really should be experiencing so much more than five minutes of "sex" because I am sure from your description, you alone can do better. There is so much more love and passion out there. So many people wanting to ensure your sexual satisfaction no matter what. Don't sell yourself short. Only you can decide what you need to be happy..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseyposie Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by joseyposie when my last boyfriend/fience' would have sex with me he wouldn't kiss me or give foreplay and watch a porno video when he was doing me? was he dreaming that he was having sex with the porno girl and not me? i used to close my eyes and then i opened them and found him looking at the video and no even knowing i was there. also why does sex only last a total of 5 min. do men last longer? i haven't had sex longer than five min total. why don't they want to give foreplay or kiss just stick it in? i am also 5 ft3 in and 220lbs. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by joseyposie i am also 5 ft3 in and 220lbs. JP, I'm really hoping your thread isn't a "fake one" but kind of have the feeling it is.. None the less.. from this last post above.. it seems to me that YOU'VE just validated why it is someone should/could/would treat you badly.. and that isn't okay. IF someone loves you and cares about you then they should be considerate and loving REGARDLESS if you're 5'3 and 220lbs OR if you're supermodel tall and thin.. So yeah.. there ya go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseyposie Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 this post is not a fake one. i dated him for 7 yrs and never had any experience in relationships and i have very very low self esteem. i left him 4 yrs ago and i am learning to treat myself better thru counseling. i was just wondering if it is something i was doing wrong or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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