is he 'the one'?

[foofiefoo]

Ive recently turned my good friend of over 7 years into my boyfriend and Ive never been happier. I have only seen him a few times since we got together (its a long distance) but when Im with him Im so happy. Ive never felt the way I feel with him, it feels almost too perfect. I feel as if we are meant to be together and I had intuitions when I was young that we would be one day. We have loads in common, hes funny genourous, gorgeous, intelligent, honest. I trust him 100% already. Just everything is great. Accept even though I fancy him, I dont get as aroused during love making as I have previous partners. We have only been together that way twice and I do like it but it doesnt have the same lust and excitement Ive felt with some of the totally unsuitable blokes Ive been with in the past. Should I worry about this? I was worried that Im not sexually attracted to him but I am tottally but just not as much as I am to others. I want to believe he is 'the one' but does it sound like he isnt?

[TheJammer]

You've turned a friend into a lover... you made the irreversible move... and now you're asking whether or not it was the RIGHT MOVE??? If you have to ask? Then the answer is probably... NOT.

 

Even worse, I seriously doubt you can just go back to being friends, if he has developed any kind of attachment (which sounds like it has happened).

[Israfil]

I loved my ex very much, but there was always a lack of chemistry. Towards the end, I was incredibly depressed b/c of my unhappiness regarding our sex life, and I am sure it contributed to the demise of our relationship.

 

I also agree that if you are asking the question, you probably already deep down know the answer. I wish you luck, and I hope that you will feel differently. If you don't feel differently, do the both of you a favour and end it before you get in too deep.

[purple21]

If there is no passion now - there might never be. Maybe you could date a little longer and see how it goes.

 

I wasted 6 years of my life with someone - there wasn't much of a spark in the beginning and it lead to us not have sex for years. Since I wasn't feeling the spark - he lost his spark for me as well. Why did we stay together? - well we did love each other, were best friends, and had everything else that a relationship needed. We had a lot of fun together, totally trusted each other, lived together for the most of our relationship with no problems. We even tried counseling but the spark was missing and that was something we both wanted in a marraige.

 

So we finally went our seprate ways for good in May - and even though I stilled loved him was relieved. We actually stayed good friends for awhile after but for the last few months I've been contacting less because we are at the point where we are both trying to date. But I know he is always there as a friend. As for the guys I've meet since - well there has been sparks beyond control but nothing else - grrr - that is a whole other issue. But feeling those sparks again confirmed in me that I want that as part of my next relationship and it should be along with everything else I had with my ex.

 

Just don't stay with someone too long if you aren't happy - since it is still new - maybe you can work it out - not sure how - it would probably have to happen on it's own. If it is still a concern for you and it's getting worse don't waste too much time and move on, you'll be happy you didn't waste 6 years.

 

Good luck

[clynn]

I dunno.

 

I think part of the passion / spark is the uncertainty....

 

You may be feeling solid and comfortable and secure and so that is why you are less than excited.

 

It is a choice.

 

I think if you ask most long time married couples they would tell you that these things come and go.