Are girls on dating sites really picky on looks?

[somedude81]

Yes.

 

 

You clearly read the profile, asked questions, and weren't rude or sexual.

 

 

When I received messages like that, I kindly replied back with answers to those questions and read his profile and asked some questions about him to get conversation started.

Sweet, that made me happy.

 

Thanks

 

Now I know that if she doesn't reply it just means she ain't phun like Phoe

[mummyjonno]

So these are the two biggest reasons girls do not reply my messages:

 

1) Looks. I may not look good enough according to most girl's standards. Those who have talked to me didn't give a crap about it.

 

2) The quantity of messages. My message would've been replied if I was the only message they received.

 

I also started to remember that I saw a profile that said "I'm generally quite friendly and very interested in meeting new people" yet I messaged her 2-3 months ago without a reply lol. She had a 93% match.

 

So even the highest of match% don't stand out. Why?

 

Sure she will be interested in meeting people (she fancies) she left that part out. Never did understand those who join a dating site for buddies. Clues in the name.

 

Op - change your avatar and let us see say your main profile pic!

[mummyjonno]

Sweet, that made me happy.

 

Thanks

 

Now I know that if she doesn't reply it just means she ain't phun like Phoe

 

I don't respond to anyone I am not interested in. I used too. But when the majority verbally abuse you simply for not being interested that crap gets old real fast!

[somedude81]

I don't respond to anyone I am not interested in. I used too. But when the majority verbally abuse you simply for not being interested that crap gets old real fast!

Then that leaves guys like me who never get replies and feel like we are being completely ignored or just invisible.

 

I would appreciate a not interested message. If a guy is rude to you in return, report him and his account will be deleted. In the end you'll be doing a favor to a bunch of other women would would be abused by him.

[mummyjonno]

Then that leaves guys like me who never get replies and feel like we are being completely ignored or just invisible.

 

I would appreciate a not interested message. If a guy is rude to you in return, report him and his account will be deleted. In the end you'll be doing a favor to a bunch of other women would would be abused by him.

 

Oh I report them anyway, some of the things they say are simply vile all because a polite "sorry I'm not interested, good luck" somehow harms their man ego.

 

Although those I'm not interested in are not forgotten even though it will look that way

[AdrianCrawley]

Then that leaves guys like me who never get replies and feel like we are being completely ignored or just invisible.

 

I would appreciate a not interested message. If a guy is rude to you in return, report him and his account will be deleted. In the end you'll be doing a favor to a bunch of other women would would be abused by him.

 

Why ? People gotta learn some lessons: how attractive they are, how and if OLD works for them, how to behave... If the girls would do what you say here, how would guys learn the truth ?

[jonsnuh]

I had a woman put me in my place once. The funny thing is that I never used a sexual pickup line until I used it on her.

 

Manned up to it, apologized, and got an answer about her interests after that. She had me hooked.

[jonsnuh]

So these are the two biggest reasons girls do not reply my messages:

 

1) Looks. I may not look good enough according to most girl's standards. Those who have talked to me didn't give a crap about it.

 

2) The quantity of messages. My message would've been replied if I was the only message they received.

 

I also started to remember that I saw a profile that said "I'm generally quite friendly and very interested in meeting new people" yet I messaged her 2-3 months ago without a reply lol. She had a 93% match.

 

So even the highest of match% don't stand out. Why?

 

In essence, OLD is just window shopping.

 

Also if you read the algorithm used like in okcupid, its possible your match % is not the same as her match %.

 

It is also best to answer questions that really matter to you and not ambiguious ones.

 

There are several reasons why they might not respond. Looks. Volume of mail. The typo on your profile. Too much work reading it. Etc.

[guest572]

I doubt anyone seriously goes for someone they find unattractive whether online or real world. Yes it is shallow but this is dating after all. However the profile content is so important as well. I have ignored very attractive men whose profiles don't interest me or if I find them boring or offensive for example. People SHOULD be picky if they are serious about finding a partner and having a successful relationship.

 

Don't take it to heart if you don't get a response it is not necessarily your looks. Could be many reasons. Perhaps these women are going into relationships, dating a lot, too busy, or not serious about it. Shake it off, hold your head high and try again.

[rocketboy9]

Speaking as a guy I wouldnt waste my time with OLD. The whole thing is designed to extract as much $ out of your pocket as they can. I dont know whether the men outnumber the women but I do know that men and women experience OLD dating differently. Here is why:

 

With men the problem is getting a response at all. Even good looking guys are lucky to get any response. Most men will resort to using the numbers game ie. contacting as many women as possible to get a response. Even than most of time it doesnt work. And of course there is the time involved to contact each one. Its a huge time suck. Lots of women are content to email forever without ever meeting you. I am convinced that many just love the attention.

 

Now women have the opposite problem. To MUCH attention. The responses range from the average normal guy to the sex pervs. Even a below average to homely women have no shortage of men emailing them. The average woman will get tons of responses. And the good looking women? Try hundreds sometimes PER DAY. The problem becomes filtering out the ones she might be interested in so they take the default which is not replying at all.

 

Frankly I think you are better off going to singles mixers like 1 minute dating and such. Or investigate activities from meetup. Take classes at teh college, take yoga/pilates. All of these will be a lot more economical and time efficient than sitting behind a computer trying to write witty emails to females in all likelihood would not give you the time of day.

[Armegoggon]

Speaking as a guy I wouldnt waste my time with OLD. The whole thing is designed to extract as much $ out of your pocket as they can. I dont know whether the men outnumber the women but I do know that men and women experience OLD dating differently. Here is why:

 

With men the problem is getting a response at all. Even good looking guys are lucky to get any response. Most men will resort to using the numbers game ie. contacting as many women as possible to get a response. Even than most of time it doesnt work. And of course there is the time involved to contact each one. Its a huge time suck. Lots of women are content to email forever without ever meeting you. I am convinced that many just love the attention.

 

Now women have the opposite problem. To MUCH attention. The responses range from the average normal guy to the sex pervs. Even a below average to homely women have no shortage of men emailing them. The average woman will get tons of responses. And the good looking women? Try hundreds sometimes PER DAY. The problem becomes filtering out the ones she might be interested in so they take the default which is not replying at all.

 

Frankly I think you are better off going to singles mixers like 1 minute dating and such. Or investigate activities from meetup. Take classes at teh college, take yoga/pilates. All of these will be a lot more economical and time efficient than sitting behind a computer trying to write witty emails to females in all likelihood would not give you the time of day.

 

You're right there seems to be an imbalance of men to women ratio. Honestly, if this society of dating site was turned upsidedown, where men get more messages than women, I would reply ALL of those messages and give them feedback. See I'm a type of person that likes to give people a chance to talk to me and then they'll stop pondering about why they can't get a date.

 

I think this society is traditionally generated so that men are the approachers while women are the waiters lol. I hate it, there's too much imbalance especially for a shy man.

[FitChick]

Men who want feedback as to why they've been rejected had better be prepared to hear some unpleasant things. Make a point of stating in your profile, "If you are not interested, I'd appreciate any feedback on how I could improve my profile." Or something similar.

[mummyjonno]

Men who want feedback as to why they've been rejected had better be prepared to hear some unpleasant things. Make a point of stating in your profile, "If you are not interested, I'd appreciate any feedback on how I could improve my profile." Or something similar.

 

 

I agree - I have had men message me before in the days where I would reply to everyone even to say no thanks but good luck.

 

I recall some asking me exactly why I wasn't interested and I had to be honest. Telling someone you can't date them because you are allergic to their pets, because you don't find them attractive or the fact that they don't have a job isn't kind.

 

Honey like we said earlier. Tweak your profile change your pictures and go grab you some attention.

 

In fact a better idea would be to change your avatar to your profile picture so we can see and copy and paste your profile so we can have a look.

 

You can't possibly be the hunch back, and you seem like a nice enough bloke. So unless the women in your area are bonkers I don't know what the issue is.

[Shaun-Dro]

The dreaded online dating mysteries... I was in the same boat as you through early highschool. Joined teen sites like nexopia, tagged, piczo, my yearbook, and more with the hopes of finding a girlfriend.

One thing I realized and most men do not come to terms with is the fact that these girls receive message after message after message, all of guys trying to get her number, nudes, a date, or just being flirty.

So After getting through all these messages it really boils down to first impressions... And by first impressions I mean looks, style, and ultimately your profile picture or the picture that appears in your message.

 

Once you're presented to her as attractive she'll either go through the rest of your pics, or message you back.

 

Now comes the hardest part. First impressions through messaging. this is where knowing when to escalate the conversation, story telling, and message attraction/initial comparability comes into play. It's the step before the skype, text, or phonecall. But that's a whole other topic, there are so many guys going online looking for a hookup, most of these attractive "I want a relationship" girls have no clue what men to go for.

 

So how do you present yourself within a profile picture?

First off, take all the pictures of your abs, your car, you holding money, and throwing up gang signs... And Burn them!!! If you want an ab shot, go to the beach with some friends and present it in a non mirror selfie kind of way.

 

Show that you're a social fun to be around kinda guy, if you take a group photo with a bunch of your male friends dressed well and having a good time, she may be like "Oh I wonder which one's him, and check out your other pics.

AND stop hitting up the cute selfie only, mass cleavage showing girls.

 

I know that's allot of info and it kinda jumps all over the place, but online dating jumps back and forth like a damn ball covered in flubber.

I would love to hear more from the female side of things!

 

 

EDIT: Note: I wrote this while you posted your previous reply^

 

This is a very insightful post. I applaud you for the effort. If only more men took this into consideration their lives would be that much simpler.

[Armegoggon]

I agree - I have had men message me before in the days where I would reply to everyone even to say no thanks but good luck.

 

I recall some asking me exactly why I wasn't interested and I had to be honest. Telling someone you can't date them because you are allergic to their pets, because you don't find them attractive or the fact that they don't have a job isn't kind.

 

Honey like we said earlier. Tweak your profile change your pictures and go grab you some attention.

 

In fact a better idea would be to change your avatar to your profile picture so we can see and copy and paste your profile so we can have a look.

 

You can't possibly be the hunch back, and you seem like a nice enough bloke. So unless the women in your area are bonkers I don't know what the issue is.

 

Wow thanks for taking the time. Well for me I'm a different person. I learn from constructive criticism. Honestly, I think this society needs to give more constructive criticism because it makes it easier to understand what is wrong. Then when you get better at looks or whatever they want you'll get back to them with something better on the table. I think it's easier for women to pick up men.

 

And look here we are today. The first ever OkCupid girl I messaged (no reply) still has an account and goes on every day. So maybe she didn't spend any effort at all.

 

As for my profile picture on LoveShack, well, I probably would keep this a more game based for now. I just don't know how to I make myself look better. I'm very terrible at the fashion so that's why if I knew how to improve, I would've done it long time ago. Should I really make a Photoshopping thread in LoveShack so I can try to change myself the same way it was Photoshopped?

 

Men who want feedback as to why they've been rejected had better be prepared to hear some unpleasant things. Make a point of stating in your profile, "If you are not interested, I'd appreciate any feedback on how I could improve my profile." Or something similar.

 

I could write that on my profile but I don't seem to be getting anymore profile visits anyways. I mean I have tried to visit others but they never visited me back even.

 

Actually I remember early in my days of OkCupid, I did visit other's profiles and half of them would visit back. So if they don't have the time to message me back anything then why are they visiting my profile back instead?

 

Plus I have like 5 different likes in my queue but I can't view them since I don't have premium. Could likes be fake? I also remember on Badoo, I had a woman that I selected a "Yes" to meeting her and she also selected a "yes". Then I messaged her but no reply? How strange is it that women who may like you don't message you? What's the point here? Trolling they are?

[Targetlock]

OLD seems to be based very strongly on looks, the looks make people want to notice your profile in the first place. i very rarely get responses and consider myself average looking.

[Keenly]

It really is a giant waste of time. I've sent 2-10 messages a day for about a year and a half

 

I've yet to have anything useful come out of it.

 

 

Got fooled twice by deceptive photography, made a couple long distance " friends " , went on various dates, only one of which resulted in a second.

 

 

Never went any farther than that. Didn't even get a kiss out of any of them.

 

 

The only reason I still use it is because I'm terrible at meeting women.

 

 

 

 

All in all, if some one asked me about my overall experience with it, its a waste of time

I've been told I'm pretty attractive and I don't get responses

The responses I do get are so half assed that they aren't even worth continuing, and would be better to get no response rather than a two word response.

[Candy_Pants]

@Keenly, 2-10 messages a day? That's nothing! I wrote more than that, and I'm a woman!

[deathandtaxes]

You're right there seems to be an imbalance of men to women ratio. Honestly, if this society of dating site was turned upsidedown, where men get more messages than women, I would reply ALL of those messages and give them feedback. See I'm a type of person that likes to give people a chance to talk to me and then they'll stop pondering about why they can't get a date.

 

I think this society is traditionally generated so that men are the approachers while women are the waiters lol. I hate it, there's too much imbalance especially for a shy man.

 

 

 

I've seen numbers that show most dating site have more women members than men. It's just that there are so many guys who will spam the living **** out of women it's not even funny.

[Armegoggon]

@Keenly, 2-10 messages a day? That's nothing! I wrote more than that, and I'm a woman!

Really you send a lot of messages? Do you receive lots in return too?

It really is a giant waste of time. I've sent 2-10 messages a day for about a year and a half

 

I've yet to have anything useful come out of it.

 

 

Got fooled twice by deceptive photography, made a couple long distance " friends " , went on various dates, only one of which resulted in a second.

 

 

Never went any farther than that. Didn't even get a kiss out of any of them.

 

 

The only reason I still use it is because I'm terrible at meeting women.

 

 

 

 

All in all, if some one asked me about my overall experience with it, its a waste of time

I've been told I'm pretty attractive and I don't get responses

The responses I do get are so half assed that they aren't even worth continuing, and would be better to get no response rather than a two word response.

It may be a waste of time but I find it even harder to socialize outside. All I want is just 1 girl to be with me. I may have had a few conversations but none came close to meeting in person.

 

OLD seems to be based very strongly on looks, the looks make people want to notice your profile in the first place. i very rarely get responses and consider myself average looking.

Well wait, if girls aren't even bothering to look at your profile post-message then how am I supposed to know what I'm doing wrong? Is it the message or the looks in that case?

 

I've seen numbers that show most dating site have more women members than men. It's just that there are so many guys who will spam the living **** out of women it's not even funny.

 

What dating sites are you talking about? Yeah but why don't women just ignore the spam but at least reply the realistic messages? Better question is, why does it have to be my messages that 95% get ignored?

[deathandtaxes]

What dating sites are you talking about? Yeah but why don't women just ignore the spam but at least reply the realistic messages? Better question is, why does it have to be my messages that 95% get ignored?

 

 

 

All of them. Except adult friend finder . Stats I can find show just slightly more women on the top sites. Maybe a percentage or two, but it's there.

 

 

I'm in the same boat as you about getting ignored. My recent signup, a little over two weeks ago. Have sent over 40 message. Three replies. I think a lot is really, REALLY looks driven. If you're not Adonais, you're ****ed. They might read your profile. Who knows!!

[Armegoggon]

All of them. Except adult friend finder . Stats I can find show just slightly more women on the top sites. Maybe a percentage or two, but it's there.

 

 

I'm in the same boat as you about getting ignored. My recent signup, a little over two weeks ago. Have sent over 40 message. Three replies. I think a lot is really, REALLY looks driven. If you're not Adonais, you're ****ed. They might read your profile. Who knows!!

 

So you're saying OkCupiad has more women than men? I thought there were more men there. Yeah I hate it when girls don't even bother doing anything with the message. I can't even get a single view over the past week on my profile so it seems a little dead for me.

[deathandtaxes]

So you're saying OkCupiad has more women than men? I thought there were more men there. Yeah I hate it when girls don't even bother doing anything with the message. I can't even get a single view over the past week on my profile so it seems a little dead for me.

 

 

 

Hmmm...the site didn't have the ratio for okcupid. Why not just search each way and see how many come up in your area? That will give you an idea for what you're up against.

 

 

I have done searches on match (which I subscribe) in my area, and get roughly equal amounts men and woman if I just change the gender (male seeking female to female seeking male).

[LustAppeal]

I think what it comes down to in many cases is that dating online is the just an illusion of being easy when infact it's so new to our society that it's probably one of the hardest ways to find a potential partner. We have this illusion because it's "safe" in more of a communicational sense.

For example:

Messaging a girl on a dating site is easier to do over walking up and talking to one, why? because if you fail, you just don't receive a message back.

This is a horrible way to look at it, but it's the path many of us follow and rely on to fill that emotional gap.

 

The main problem is the word "rejection." We all fear this word and do anything to avoid it. It forces most men to turn around and walk away from the girl they are so attracted to instead of walking up and talking to her!

Then they'll go a few hours wondering "what if" and beating themselves up for not trying to talk to this girl.

How sad is this, it's a horrible way to live. Doesn't the opposing side to rejection out way it? The answer is YES. Getting a shot to date this girl(what we want) heavily out ways a simple No(what we fear)... So why do we run from it?

 

Boys: Next time you see an attractive girl walk past you and you begin to daydream about her. I want you to think about this very post and APPROACH HER.

REJECTION AND FAILURE ARE NOTHING BUT A LEARNING EXPERIENCE!

[Armegoggon]

Hmmm...the site didn't have the ratio for okcupid. Why not just search each way and see how many come up in your area? That will give you an idea for what you're up against.

 

 

I have done searches on match (which I subscribe) in my area, and get roughly equal amounts men and woman if I just change the gender (male seeking female to female seeking male).

Well apparently based on what I answered in the OkCupid survey questions, most of the top match% are guys.

 

I think what it comes down to in many cases is that dating online is the just an illusion of being easy when infact it's so new to our society that it's probably one of the hardest ways to find a potential partner. We have this illusion because it's "safe" in more of a communicational sense.

For example:

Messaging a girl on a dating site is easier to do over walking up and talking to one, why? because if you fail, you just don't receive a message back.

This is a horrible way to look at it, but it's the path many of us follow and rely on to fill that emotional gap.

 

The main problem is the word "rejection." We all fear this word and do anything to avoid it. It forces most men to turn around and walk away from the girl they are so attracted to instead of walking up and talking to her!

Then they'll go a few hours wondering "what if" and beating themselves up for not trying to talk to this girl.

How sad is this, it's a horrible way to live. Doesn't the opposing side to rejection out way it? The answer is YES. Getting a shot to date this girl(what we want) heavily out ways a simple No(what we fear)... So why do we run from it?

 

Boys: Next time you see an attractive girl walk past you and you begin to daydream about her. I want you to think about this very post and APPROACH HER.

REJECTION AND FAILURE ARE NOTHING BUT A LEARNING EXPERIENCE!

 

Yes we fear the word rejection a lot. This is probably my worst of fears lol. But the strength I have is, being rejected on the internet because a girl tells you that feels better than being rejected in person. Why do I feel that way? Because all a girl does is just send a private message, where absolutely nobody is going to know the rejection. Whereas in person, a rejection can be known in public and can be humiliating although it does happen a lot. Also, asking a girl when she doesn't expect a conversation might not be a good idea so I fear that a lot. I don't just randomly go to a gym and say "Hi, how are you".

 

The thing is, I don't mind too much on attraction. That's also another reason I don't just randomly approach girls. Just by the looks of a girl, it doesn't determine enough information about what she likes and stuff and how's her personality.