pygora1994 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 We were good friends. we had initially met and dated, but that didn't work out because we were at different stages. we became friends and had a good friendship. somewhere along the lines I developed feelings for him and he developed feelings for me. we told each other that on different occasions. we tried a short abortive attempt at dating again (about 1/2 weeks) We weren't ready for a relationship and we didn't want to mess up our friendship, so we backed off. a little over a month ago we got into a fight and he stopped speaking to me. we cut off all contact with each other blocking each other from social media. I instigated the fight over something stupid, that I had no business interfering with. I sent him an apology a few weeks ago asking for forgiveness. I haven't heard anything back from him. I feel stupid for letting something minor screw up our friendship. I didn't really handle him stopping communicating with me well, and I was overly emotional about it. It didn't help that I was under significant outside stress from other personal issues, and financial issues. I honestly don't know how I feel about him right now. I was in love with him, but now I only want to support him. I want to be able to be happy if he finds someone else to love. I want to be there for him when it goes bad, and be there for him when he finds his true love. I want to be there at his wedding, at his graduation, etc. I don't want to lose his friendship forever. I know similar things have happened between some of my other friends (minus the whole love thing) where they don't speak for months (or even a year in one case), but eventually they are forgiven. I know he is slow to forgive and I hit a sensitive nerve, but I do want to make amends if possible I don't know how to approach this. I can't figure out if I should view it as an ex or an estranged friend. before this He was always glad I was there to talk to him about things, and he was always glad I had stuck around as a friend after dating him didn't work out (we went on only a few dates). TL;DR friend stopped speaking to me. Need some advice on how to cope or repair the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Why not try calling him in a couple of weeks, if you haven't heard from him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pygora1994 Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 I guess I just feel scared of getting rejected, of him not answering the phone or not returning the call. I don't want to push him farther away making an eventual reconciliation impossible. I don't want to pressure him into making a decision he isn't ready to make. I made that mistake with him before, which led to the fight. He is a conflict adverse person, and I don't want to further upset him. I do want to call him though. I really want to put all of this behind us and just be friends again. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 (edited) i am conflict adverse i really do hate it, i get lost in negative vibes.....frozen....i much prefer to make peace than be in conflict , if your friend is a true conflict adverse he will be happy if there is some kind of peaceful resolution can be met......i have written this before on here and ill say it again as someone who was special to me only in my life for a few seasons, just passed away this morning, do not hold off on settling grievances or letting someone know how much you care or appreciate them and all the little things that make them so special to you , let them know.....too many times i have not gotten to say goodbye or just what people meant to me..my sister and my mother too have had funerals unattended and goodbyes left unsaid my mother with her own mother which nearly killed her to not be there to say goodbye...and it hits hard...unfortunately for me these people and my family these beloveds truly deserved to know every good thing we ever felt and god will tell them now mayeb they are with us still on the other side of the veil just separated by a film of understanding that they are there waiting for us to come to them god has them back now...... you might think i am over reacting...i am not....tragedy is only a step or heart beat in the wrong direction or a design on gods promise to us......death comes and we dont know when or where or how or who.......so live life with your friends and family always knowing how you feel....you are scared of rejection.....i am too but i am more scared of people not knowing how i feel so in spite of rejection i move fast.......it hurts......but know what hurts more.....them never knowing and tragedy strikes with uncaring hands..cuts deeper...so do it...... my mum told me you can see how i feel for someone through my eyes and that i have a big heart all who love me see hwo i feel i dotn need to say the exact words...because i show it all the time......in my smile and the way i look at people.the way i forgive and love anyway...i really hope so......because the words are often left unsaid.......dont let that be you and call him.....i told a guy i cared and tried to be his friend because i do truly care he rejected my friendship we no longer speak..... he thinks i am creepy i got pretty hurt..because he made me feel wrong for caring....nothing new...but.....i know if no goodby gets said again......whatever he thinks of me......it would have been worse if i didnt tell him....i did the honest and true thing.... my grandpa let me know that ....i am letting you know...passing it on by proxy internet...fix it......and good luck....i have a feeling you will become close again....maybe that is my hope for you i am hoping for you....best wishes......deb Edited May 5, 2014 by todreaminblue 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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