b52srock Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but honestly, this is the only place I can let everything out. I know I don't respond to much of the advice and encouragement you all give, but believe me, there are days when I go back and re-read some of the things you've said just so I know I'm not completely losing it! In spite of medication for depression, I'm still having some pretty rough days here and there. Not as many as I used to, and I'm not constantly obsessing or crying, but some days I have the attention span of a gnat because I can't get everything off my mind. Took a weekend, had my mother come up and stay with the kids, and I went out of town to a Leadership Conference. The further away from town I got the less tense I was. I actually laughed and shared a few drinks with "the girls", but coming home today, the closer I got to home, the more upset I got. A blazing headache has been with me since about an hour out of town. I just wish I could get myself under control. I don't see the divorce being final until May or June, and while my mother was staying with the kids she found out about his affair. I hadn't told her because I felt she was upset enough about everything. Well....should have told her. Now she's being more supportive than she's been through this whole thing. She actually told me she couldn't wait until her heart surgeon released her from his care just so she could come up here and kick the STBX's ass! My problem is I waffle so much between absolutely hating him for what he's doing to me, the kids, his life...to wishing with everything I am that he would just come home. I feel I'm going to have to go through with the divorce no matter what. I don't see him dropping his wh*re any time soon, and he's now in debt on his credit card over $13,000! And that's his company credit card! He's supposed to be paying it off every month when the company reimburses him for his travel expenses. He never could handle money. Guess its expensive to support your family and carry on with a wh*re on the side. Does the confusion ever stop? Link to post Share on other sites
kypepeo Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 All the answers you need are inside of you. Decide that enough is enough. No more pain. Let go of him and work him out of your system. Refuse to think about him and all the drama. Get out more and occupy your mind. I know it may sound silly but give it a try coz your mind does whatever you tell it. Don't think about whether he'll come back to you or not. Instead,think about whether you are ready to live with all the pain he has brought on you. There is life after him and you can find it only if you let go of him. It's a tough mental exercise but you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Pookie3411 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Been there done that and I am there again. I too just found out my second husband is in a relatonship with an old gf. I travel every Tuesday Wed and Thursday for work. He accidentally left his E-mail open. He has been continuing a relationship with her. He calls her sweatheart, sunshine. ect..........It seems one sided on his part though. But I am devestated that he is hanging in there with her. I am better when I am away. Sometimes. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just tell him to leave the other part wants him to stay and love me only! I know we can;t make someone love us. What will be will be. Yada Yada Yada, I am going out of my skin. How come we feel this way! I shouldn't be posting on your thread but I am not sure how this all works and it feels better just to be typing I guess. Pookie Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Originally posted by b52srock Does the confusion ever stop? No. In a word. at least not from my experience so far. MA Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Originally posted by b52srock The further away from town I got the less tense I was. I actually laughed and shared a few drinks with "the girls", but coming home today, the closer I got to home, the more upset I got. I think that you've given yourself a clear example of 'the confusion stopping'. What made you feel better about that particular situation? Was it having something else to concentrate on? Was it the physical action of leaving the problem literally behind? Whatever it was, maybe you should explore it a little. Identify what was good about it, and then look for ways to get more of the same into your life. (????) Link to post Share on other sites
caer Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 You could always become a truck driver and run away from it all..... No,I'm just kiddin' I don't think it ever becomes any less confusing. I believe that's why we all end up here trying to pick up the pieces of what our spouses broke. Link to post Share on other sites
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