Excuse or real reason?

[Ace]

Hey guys, I have a legitimate post this time. I just couldn't stay away.

 

I want to see what you guys think about this one.

 

Me and my ex have been seeing each other regularly now. We have been dating again. Well, we have had a great time, but she says that she doesn't want to get serious and that is fine with me. However, she says that she doesn't want to get serious before she goes on Spring Break.

 

I am aware how she would feel that it would stress her out more and she would have to worry about more things, but is this just an excuse to go down there and mess around with some other guy. She said that she just wants to have fun and if she kisses another guy when she is drunk or something, she doesn't want to feel bad.

 

Do you think that she is planning on doing this? The only reason I ask is because I don't see if she was not planning on doing this, then why would she even say that.

 

Lemme know what you guys think.

 

Adam

[Paulie]

Frankly, yes. It is plainly obvious that she wants to hook up with other guys. Very obvious. Why else would she say that?

 

Let her. And you go try to hook up, too.

 

Good luck.

 

Paulie

[Ace]

That is what my roomate said to. I am not quite sure though because that is not like her at all. I think that I may have to talk to her about it.

 

I guess we will see after she gets back.

[ashesmum]

She's going somewhere for Spring Break to be loose and crazy. Sorry but that's what it sounds like. She obviously doesn't want something with you otherwise you both would have been there by now. Sounds like you're a great second man. When she needs company, (maybe sex), and a shoulder she has you to fall back on. Meanwhile she's looking for her #1 man. So why don't you find some friends to go to Spring Break with and have a good time yourself. Or freak her out and tell her you're going to the same place she is for Spring Break. See what she says... Good luck finding yourself a real nice woman.

Hey guys, I have a legitimate post this time. I just couldn't stay away. I want to see what you guys think about this one. Me and my ex have been seeing each other regularly now. We have been dating again. Well, we have had a great time, but she says that she doesn't want to get serious and that is fine with me. However, she says that she doesn't want to get serious before she goes on Spring Break. I am aware how she would feel that it would stress her out more and she would have to worry about more things, but is this just an excuse to go down there and mess around with some other guy. She said that she just wants to have fun and if she kisses another guy when she is drunk or something, she doesn't want to feel bad. Do you think that she is planning on doing this? The only reason I ask is because I don't see if she was not planning on doing this, then why would she even say that. Lemme know what you guys think. Adam

[ashesmum]

Just don't be stupid and wait around for her. Go have fun and when she comes back act like you didn't miss her. I bet she'll have plenty of lines made for you like " I thought about you alot" or "I couldn't do anything cause I thought of you" or maybe she'll be a real woman and tell you how she feels. People don't go to Spring Break things to drink a little and suntan in the sun. It's pure sex, alcohol (drugs) and wild behavior.

That is what my roomate said to. I am not quite sure though because that is not like her at all. I think that I may have to talk to her about it. I guess we will see after she gets back.

 

[Tony T]

I think she has a right to decide to get serious with you or not to get serious with you any time she wants. That's her call...just like it's your call if you want to get serious with her.

 

It doesn't make any difference why. I think wanting to go on Spring Break and do all the guys is just as good a reason as any and it's none of your business. She has absolutely no obligation to you at all. As a matter of fact, she has given in to your wishes and gives you her time.

 

YOU are the one who came begging to her to start seeing you again. SHE is the one who wanted to call it off. SHE is the one who told you not to come see her at the art show. SHE is the one who has been trying to take things a lot more slowly.

 

So until you have a committment from her, she has an abosulte right to see other people, have fun at Spring Break or whatever and you have no grounds to question that. If you can't handle her being a free human being under the laws of the United States of America, then stop seeing her.

 

By the way, even if she makes a committment to you, she is free to break that as well if she no longer wants to honor it. It's the American way.

 

You need to have some fun during Spring Break yourself. And don't count on her jumping to get serious when she gets back.

 

And, by the way, what is getting serious??? Is that like having a baby or something???

[Ace]

OK, just to explain things a little bit more. I know this girl and she is not going to have sex at all or even do any oral acitivities. She is very shy and we have not even had sex yet after 5 years. She says that she wants to wait until she is married. It took almost 3 years before we even having oral sex, so sex and doing any other sexual thing is out of the question for her. Trust me on this one. If she desires, the most that she will do is make out with a guy and I am aware that she can do whatever she pleases. I never said that she couldn't. I am aware that we are both just dating now and she can still do whatever she wants.

 

I am serious by being exclusive to each other, spending the night and having oral sex. Those are the only things that we don't do now. We are exclusive to each other now and she says that she is going to be, but she says that she just wants the freedom to do whatever she wants now and when she gets back from Spring Break then we can start things again. We have discussed this thoroughly and I have accepted this.

 

This is not about getting back together or anything like that, but yet an opinion on what you think she is going to do.

 

I wish that I could describe the situation that we are in better and that way you guys could better understand our relationship, but I do the best that I can do.

 

Thanks again everyone for the advice. I love you guys!

 

Adam