Lostanddelerious Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Hi, This is my first post here. I've been reading the forums, but haven't written until now. I'm not sure what's going on in my marriage at the moment. I think it's heading for a cliff and I'm killing myself trying to stop it. My wife (of 4 years, partner of 10) told me 3 weeks ago that she'd been having an affair since January, was in love with him and was leaving me. She came back to stay 3 days later as she had nowhere else to go. We began sharing a bed, cuddling and kissing. She was still seeing him. Then she went to stay with him for 3 days, when she came home we had an argument and she ended it with him because she didn't think they were compatible and I was everything she wanted, or everything she didn't want to lose. Well now we're 2 weeks after that, she's been somewhat distant, and somewhat close. She says she isn't speaking to him or seeing him, but I have my suspicions. She doesn't seem to want to commit, and the latest thing is 'I love you' doesn't come naturally anymore. Anyone got any insight? We're both female, and I love her with all my heart. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
FredJones80 Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Anyone got any insight? We're both female, and I love her with all my heart. Thanks Get rid, no matter how hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostanddelerious Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 Why? You can't just say get rid, what's made you say that? Link to post Share on other sites
FredJones80 Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Why? You can't just say get rid, what's made you say that? Had an affair and was going to leave you, doesn't say much for what they think of you really. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 You should have her move immediately. Until she earns you trust back and changes who she is - you're still just living with a cheater. Consequences that cause her to get scared and suffer can often invoke change in the one cheating. She's not scared. She's using you - because you're allowing it. Toss her out and tell her you won't consider having her back until she completely changes who she is for at least a year. Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Sorry for your hurt, Lost. You say that she doesn't want to commit, but she has ALREADY committed. She needs to explore what inside her gave her permission to cheat. I can tell you this - if she is not willing to do the work, you two will not make it. No amount of love on your part can keep her honest. Link to post Share on other sites
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