mixed signals

[obubison]

I am involved with a girl for 2 1/2 mos. she is 18 and I am 26. She has told me that she loves me and wants to marry me, sometime down the road i the next year or so. recently she has decided to go to the natl gaurd. ever since then sh ehas been trying to from her words "push you a way a little at a time so it won't be so hard when i leave." I have told her that I don't want to break up but, understand if she wants to and move on. (lately anytime we spend together she says that we never get to see each other enough and she can't stand it but then when i try to spend more time with her she has other things to do.) She said that she did not want that to happen and that she wants us to stay together. however, she doesn't seem to be as excitied to hear from me and has totally cut down on phystical stuff (even though all we have done is kissed) the other night she wouldn't even hold my hand when we were alone. I am so confused. I know that she is young and making decisions but, at the same time I don't get why she woudl want to stay involved and say she did when I gave us a way to break up without it be blamed on anyone. I have never told any girl I loved her until now and would give up anything for her. I just wished that she wouldn't change from one day to the next. Any help would be appreciated.

[ashesmum]

First of all you're dating an 18 yr old. I'm not against age differences, but 18 yr old girls don't know anything about relationships. They only started to see how relationships evolve and become something serious. I'm not saying she's stupid, but she doesn't have enough experiences to understand on your level of understanding. I think alot of women don't start having real relationships until they're at least in their 20's. It's been posted here alot of times about younger girls dating older guys. Alot of them say the same thing. It's just a part of life everyone starts to realize. I'm not saying all of them do though. There are some ocassions where they do stay together. But I haven't heard of one staying together for a long time.Look how long it took for you to finally say I love you to someone.. ** Anyways, you need to sit down and tell her she needs to make up her mind. She needs to say "yes, we're still an item" or "no we need to move on". Cause it kinda sounds like she's trying to break up with you very nicely and as innocent as she can do. So be strong and talk it out with her. And maybe you should also think about where the relationship would go. Not just for you, but for her. Could it work out? Would it be for the best of both of you. Is she gonna want more down the road? Where's the national guard gonna take her? And are your futures together in the same path? Good luck.

I am involved with a girl for 2 1/2 mos. she is 18 and I am 26. She has told me that she loves me and wants to marry me, sometime down the road i the next year or so. recently she has decided to go to the natl gaurd. ever since then sh ehas been trying to from her words "push you a way a little at a time so it won't be so hard when i leave." I have told her that I don't want to break up but, understand if she wants to and move on. (lately anytime we spend together she says that we never get to see each other enough and she can't stand it but then when i try to spend more time with her she has other things to do.) She said that she did not want that to happen and that she wants us to stay together. however, she doesn't seem to be as excitied to hear from me and has totally cut down on phystical stuff (even though all we have done is kissed) the other night she wouldn't even hold my hand when we were alone. I am so confused. I know that she is young and making decisions but, at the same time I don't get why she woudl want to stay involved and say she did when I gave us a way to break up without it be blamed on anyone. I have never told any girl I loved her until now and would give up anything for her. I just wished that she wouldn't change from one day to the next. Any help would be appreciated.

[obubison]

I understand that and kinda think the same thing but, why would she not breakup when I confronted her and made it so that neither one of us had the blame??? I mean she had the chance but said that she wanted to work through it and couldn't have me leave...... Grr....

First of all you're dating an 18 yr old. I'm not against age differences, but 18 yr old girls don't know anything about relationships. They only started to see how relationships evolve and become something serious. I'm not saying she's stupid, but she doesn't have enough experiences to understand on your level of understanding. I think alot of women don't start having real relationships until they're at least in their 20's. It's been posted here alot of times about younger girls dating older guys. Alot of them say the same thing. It's just a part of life everyone starts to realize. I'm not saying all of them do though. There are some ocassions where they do stay together. But I haven't heard of one staying together for a long time.Look how long it took for you to finally say I love you to someone.. ** Anyways, you need to sit down and tell her she needs to make up her mind. She needs to say "yes, we're still an item" or "no we need to move on". Cause it kinda sounds like she's trying to break up with you very nicely and as innocent as she can do. So be strong and talk it out with her. And maybe you should also think about where the relationship would go. Not just for you, but for her. Could it work out? Would it be for the best of both of you. Is she gonna want more down the road? Where's the national guard gonna take her? And are your futures together in the same path? Good luck.