Rejected

[Omgwth]

I have loved my ex (my first boyfriend. And for the sake of this post lefts call him Ben) for a long time. I've have a few relationships after him which all lasted for more than a year. He and I have always managed to stay friends and I have always managed to keep my feelings at bay.

Towards the end of my last relationship I started hanging out with this small group of friends, ben included. In that time I realized that my current boyfriend and I weren't meant to be. So, that relationship ended and I ended up spending time with my ex and my two closest friends.

Well, about a week after my break up, Ben and I had sex. Right before we did it he told me that he knew I still liked him, but I brushed it off and went through with it anyway. Eventually we agreed to stop, but that's when it hit me hard. I loved him way more that I thought I did. And after that it has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. There are times were he gives me special attention. Or times when he leans up on me (probably because he was drunk). Or just times were I felt we had a different connection to each other than to the rest of our friends. Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe it wasn't and I will never know.

Anyways, a few days ago it was just him and I sitting around in a parking lot (trying to sober up). We ended up talking about things like exes when he asked me if there's something I need to tell him. I told him no, but he kept a asking. So I finally broke down and told him about how I felt towards him. He told me that he always knew. Then he goes on to tell me that he just ain't attracted to me like that and that was that. I then asked him if he knew my feelings this whole time, why did he end up doing the things he did with me. His excuse was that he's young and a guy.

So the conversation went on and I ended crying. He later goes on to say that he doesn't want to be in a relationship and that he's happy being single. I ended up telling him that if he had stopped me at the end of our relationship, I would have stayed. He said that there was a period of time when he wanted be back. Then he later says that he didn't chase me because he didn't care. I was so confused by all of this. I'm still confused.

At the end of it all, I was sitting there crying in the parking. He gets on his bike. And I'm asking him not to go, as a friend, just to wait. He tells me "no because if I stay you're going to think I care about you. "

Now the hardest part is that those solid group of friends that I had are gone. There is no way I can go back to them. I'm at a loss. Please help?

[No Limit]

The problem is you've let yourself be played by him, and it must have been a hell of an ego boost to say "I know that you've always loved me", get the girl to agree on it and on top of it crown that with sex. It's clear he couldn't care less about you or your feelings.

You shouldn't have kept in touch with him after the breakup, always go full no contact, at the very least until there's nothing left.

 

He got what he wanted from you and now it's over. You'll just have to move on without them.