dontgiveuponme Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 This past week is really hard for me.I hate to wake up in the morning because thats the time it hurts the most its like something died and will never gonna come back , that pain in your heart, the emptiness its really painful and then i miss him so bad. At this time im are so vulnerable and want to reach out my ex and pour my heart out. Its hard to fight it and so i just talk to some of my friends on facebook just to resist the urge but i feel like they are fed up on me for ranting over and over again. I cant remember the good and bad memories we had.What hurts the most is that you feel like you lost your hope and dreams.Your scared of the future because you will face it alone and its so dark and you cant see it. Im scared i cant find someone again that i cant have that deep connection,that chemistry i had with him. Im scared of everything and that hurts me the most.I dont know what to do. i keep myself busy and i go out with friends but even when im with them there are times it feels like someone stab me in the heart and i keep quiet for a few moment even when everyone is laughing at someones joke and i was there holding back my tears i really hate it. 5
Reels Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 I agree with the 3rd paragraph most. It takes long to build good memories, but only a minute to break them all together. What you have to do is, you have to do what is most important in your life. You have to remain alive, and you have to still care about something that happens around. 1
snappytomcat Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 im so sorry you are feeling sad I know I hate this cliché,but its true time does heal all wounds,and yes you will find that special someone again,maybe when you least expect it,but I think right now you have to work on yourself,get your confidence back,take good care of yourself 1
Brokenguy22 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Same been very hard past few days ugh. Hate it . Like the thing that gets me the most is that she did that. Broke my trust like that! I don't even want her back just so mad at her argh! Like she wanted to be friends but F that! 1
feelinggood Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I feel the "Its hard to fight it and so i just talk to some of my friends on facebook just to resist the urge but i feel like they are fed up on me for ranting over and over again." just that I didn't talk to them on facebook... It has been hard cos I have noone to talk to. Day time has been alright (manageable though the pain kicks in once awhile), it's the night time and those times when I just woke up all of a sudden that are killing me... We can do this together! I feel exactly like you right now... 2
STM206 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I feel your pain, I think most of us do. To go from having everything to standing alone is scary. When you're with who you felt was the love of your life you had dreams, hopes and could almost see the future bright and clear. One of the hardest things to face in life is change, especially huge changes like a breakup. I wish I could console you, but sadly I'm in the same boat as you right now. Try and keep your head up, any moments of happiness that may come your way, grab those moments and ride it out for as long as possible. With time those moments of sadness will lessen in severity and you'll be able to get back to living and loving life again. 1
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 STM206 Yes i agree about the sudden change and im still adjusting to that.Especially if u got no work at the moment and stuck in the house. Good thing my friend is very supportive and invite me to go out for a coffee evrytime and even offer me to stay with her for a few days or a week.Somehow this past 3 days i feel a bit better..I start to accept things bit by bit that makes my morning really bad waking up to realize u lost something really precious and you cant get it back.But nights are better maybe because my brain is exhausted thinking about him the whole day lol. I believe time heals all wounds and everything will gonna be ok soon . Wish LS have a chatbox where people can talk to other posters here just to divert our minds away from exes during our most vulnerable time. 1
feelinggood Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 dontgiveuponme, we are going through the exact same things now. I have no work now so had to stay at home... and morning is really bad when I wake up... AND I HOPE THERE'S A CHATBOX HERE TOO! I haven't opened up to most of my friends, only a few, but they too did ask me out and offered to let me stay over. When I went out the other night I ended up crying a few times, other people were looking but who cares? It's kind of like helping me emotionally knowing that there are others who are going through the same thing... So what did you do at home normally? For me, I'll be lurking around LS (to gain some peace emotionally), reading some articles to improve myself in terms of relationship and also personality, exercise and sweat all over, spend lots of time with my mom and well, the hard part, grieve..haha 1
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 (edited) Feelinggood Its really nice to know at least im not the only one in this kind of situation right now.Its a lot harder dealing with pain when you are not busy not because u choose to just lay on bed all day and feel miserable its because you got nothing to do. Im looking for jobs but theres no one calling me back yet.I spent my day trying to keep myself busy doing household chores,exercise,checking new posts here in LS but i dont stay long coz sometimes it makes more sad.Reading inspirational blogs,watching some movies,spend time with my mom too. And yeahh to grieve haha.I go out with my friends 3 days ago and suddenly i just cry to them lol. Just vent here in my post if you want since theres no chatbox haha. Edited May 8, 2014 by dontgiveuponme 1
feelinggood Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Yea I agree! When you are stuck at home you tend to think more. I just got a job offer! But will only start in 2 weeks' time. I sure hope they will let me start asap! Don't worry, no rush in getting a job, don't take any job just for the sake of leaving the house. Research or ask around so that u know better about what u really want. I woke up with a heart ache today cos I dreamt of him...... It's not the loving kind of dream, it's like an extension of the BU....... hurts to the max! Maybe it's really time for me to stop dwelling and hoping, and that I must move on... so hard............... Anyway thanks for offering ur thread for me to vent! Really do hope there's a chatbox so that we can share our feelings and support each other. May the force be with us!
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 9, 2014 Author Posted May 9, 2014 Feelinggood Im happy for you that you will gonna work soon just got back home from a friends house and i had a breakdown maybe because i saw our mutual friend and he talk to me and i saw the pity look in his eyes. I know i lost too much weight right now.. i can feel my eyes are swelling now from crying here in my dark room. But i have no intention of breaking NC so i just gonna vent here.I need a big cuddle lol
jbelle6 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 What I do and what might help you as well, cause I find talking about it just makes me worst sometimes, is I have joined some Facebook pages for interests I have and sometimes when I'm down I'll go and chat with the people in those instead of talking about him to my friends, maybe you could try that? 1
feelinggood Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 It has been hard last night.......I cried so much as if it's just the first day... One week now, and I thought I'll be alrightbut I think I was just being ignorant. Now the feeling is coming back, I just lost him all over again... dontgiveuponme, I want to hug u so much now... It feels so so so so so bad! my heart is like tearing apart :'( and jbelle6, I'm going off facebook soon... Maybe I'll look for other groups somewhere else... 1
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Feelinggood Just let it out,cry more if u need to,it helps a lot.I know it will get better day by day.Your not alone Hugs for you 1
this2shallpass Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I am going through almost exactly the same as you. I know the feeling so well, i am sitting with it right now.. I am a student and out of school until fall and have a part time job only..so I unfortunately, as you, have A LOT of time to think about it... It's like a knife twisting in my heart when i think about it, and think about certain things that he did. and the worst part is that he does not care..knowing that..is an extra knife in my heart.. i feel i will find no one else.. etc.. but at the same time, i also know, that others went through the exact same thing as i did, and "survived".. But right now..it feels like its no end to this pain..and no one else in this world for me ;( 1
Jewels7 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I could have written this myself. I don't see how anyone gets over this and moves on and finds someone even better. It's scary no matter how hurtful someone is to you, you still don't think there is anyone out there better suited for you than him/ her. While I can't give you advice because I don't know, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. 2
steelgator Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 You guys it does get better and you can find someone better trust me. I was where you were two years ago. I contemplated killing myself at one point because I saw no happiness in life, everything was a chore, I felt alone when I was around a bunch of friends. I didn't think there was an end. It took me 8 months but I just woke up one day and was over it. Looking back on it and I knew she wasn't right for me. My emotions thought she was but once I had a level head I could tell I would meet someone else. I did and she just dumped me and I'm back to square one. But I know I've done it before and can do it again. 3
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Jewels7 I know its really hard at the moment but sometimes when i cant take it anymore i just keep telling myself i cant control someones feelings and if other people make it so can we.The hard part right now for me is letting go of hopes. 2
Michael 93 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 This past week is really hard for me.I hate to wake up in the morning because thats the time it hurts the most its like something died and will never gonna come back , that pain in your heart, the emptiness its really painful and then i miss him so bad. At this time im are so vulnerable and want to reach out my ex and pour my heart out. Its hard to fight it and so i just talk to some of my friends on facebook just to resist the urge but i feel like they are fed up on me for ranting over and over again. I cant remember the good and bad memories we had.What hurts the most is that you feel like you lost your hope and dreams.Your scared of the future because you will face it alone and its so dark and you cant see it. Im scared i cant find someone again that i cant have that deep connection,that chemistry i had with him. Im scared of everything and that hurts me the most.I dont know what to do. i keep myself busy and i go out with friends but even when im with them there are times it feels like someone stab me in the heart and i keep quiet for a few moment even when everyone is laughing at someones joke and i was there holding back my tears i really hate it. @dontgiveuponme God you quite literally just explained my exact situation. I feel the mornings incredibly painful to deal with. I totally understand the emptiness feeling. I feel it incredibly difficult to get up and want to go about my day. I have better mornings than others but recently its been a lot more difficult. I sleep for 8 hours and wake up feeling like I havent slept at all. It has got easier. At first I couldn't eat and was literally in a downward spiral. It has got easier with time. But I totally understand what you mean about the urge to break NC when you wake up its overwhelming. I have no magic cure at the moment unfortunately. But you are more than welcome to vent to me whenever you feel down as it gives me comfort knowing I am helping others. How are you feeling recently? Any better? How long has it been since the split? 2
this2shallpass Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 (edited) This morning, when I woke up, I unfortunately look at my phone first thing and hope that he has sent me a text..which i should know by now he wont..He ignored the texts that i wrote him when we were over i guess, without telling me though, or anything.. ugh so cold. But when I first just got out of the house..and the sun was shining, and summer is soon here, I felt a little better.. But then...I get home..cook dinner, and after dinner.. its back to this hopelessness and sadness. Tonight is soo hard..I desperately want to go on skype and see if he is online, OR written me htere, but I know ill just get disappointed so I wont do it. It will hurt me more to see that he ignores my feelings and hurt completely.. I try to find shows, movies that is really really good that I can be completely drawn into to get my mind off of him. Its hard though. I want this pain to go away..and I cant imagine that it will, since I wanted to marry this person, felt he was my soulmate. First person I completely opened myself up to, and made myself vulnerable. I neeed to resist the urge to check on him, text him, etc..but i want to soo bad.. im scared he has already forgotten about me. I dislike him soo bad, for making me now not trust a man easily again..cause of the way he left and treated me. I certainly dont see that part of the pain and hurt go away.. Ps., to anyone reading this, sorry about my poor English, I am Norwegian. Edited May 13, 2014 by this2shallpass wrote sorry for my bad english 2
FredJones80 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 This morning, when I woke up, I unfortunately look at my phone first thing and hope that he has sent me a text..which i should know by now he wont.. Haha, this is funny, because I did/do that
steelgator Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 But when I first just got out of the house..and the sun was shining, and summer is soon here, I felt a little better.. But then...I get home..cook dinner, and after dinner.. its back to this hopelessness and sadness. Tonight is soo hard..I desperately want to go on skype and see if he is online, OR written me htere, but I know ill just get disappointed so I wont do it. It will hurt me more to see that he ignores my feelings and hurt completely.. Why do we feel so much better during the day...but morning/night is just AWFUL? 1
this2shallpass Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 (edited) Wish I knew why.. Maybe cause its the time when we are completely alone, with our thoughts and feelings..vulnerable state, in bed, alone..you feel some kind of comfort being in bed under the covers, "safe place" and hard to get out of there and face the day. Face your reality, life and feelings.. And evenings..usually an emotional time for many..I know it is for me. During the day you can have different things going on. But if you live alone, you tend o be alone at evenings (like I am now cause i'm in Norway, and not in the US, and my closest friends are spread all over). Before you fall asleep..you only listen to your thoughts in your head. I have to fall asleep to something now..cause I have to block out my thoughts. I tend to think too much..and one thing is true..you cant listen or believe the things you think/tell yourself so late at night, you are your own worst enemy you will never win the fight...thats true for me at least. Edited May 13, 2014 by this2shallpass Read your answer to what Steelgator was saying wrong. 1
johnson_j Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Nights and mornings are the worst. With her coming and going, I unfortunately lost a couple of my friends who were my backbone right now so it's twice as hard as it would be otherwise. I don't feel like I'm dying, but I don't feel like I'm living either. Merely surviving, where less than a year ago I was a king of top of the world. Most of the people around me don't have a clue about the inner pain I feel, although I shouldn't feel anything except anger for being used, but I can't really feel that way for some reason. My last breakup was a simple piece of cake - I decided I was done and that was that. For some reason it's difficult this time. Probably because there was so much opportunity and optimism from her, and one day it was all gone, and the rose colored glasses came off and the truth was revealed. 2
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 @ Michael93 I'm still in this rollercoaster ride of emotions right now and I really hate it..its been a month since he break up with me again..but NC for 4 days now since I keep begging and pleading last time lol.I know we can make it just leave me a message if you want to vent ill be happy to listen.. @johnsonj just like my first break up i move on within a month and become friends with him after few months but this time its really hard for me.. 1
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