this2shallpass Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 @dontgiveuponme same here..3rd day of NC. its soo hard! because of the cowardly way he ended it with me, and i begged him on text just to reply and give me answers...and to be a man and say it. And he didnt reply of course. Which is just an extra dagger in my heart, that he is able to treat me like this. So what I want to the most is to write him and say please please can i get a closure and explanation. But I tried, it didnt work, he ignored me...so the NC is best...though he is breaking my heart. I also want to go on skype soo bad to see if he has written me there, cause there was the last time he did..but I KNOW I will see that I have gotten no answers, and ill just be so completeelyy disappointed and heartbroken ALL over again. It is enough now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 @this2shallpass I know exactly how you feel right now and want to give u a big cuddle..I know how it feels like when u text ,leave them a message and completely ignore you.I deleted him on Skype but its really hard to go online on fb coz I'm used to wait for him to go online there before 1 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Instead of checking your texts, emails etc in the morning, try and change your routine. Turn on the radio, do a run or read a webpage which interests you. It will only be diversion at first, but in time you'll forget you want to check. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 @dontgiveuponme All though I am so sorry that you have felt, feel this way too, it is "comforting" in a way to know that I am not the only one (all though I wish we could all be happy again right now, and not go through this!) and that people have been through this as we do, and became happy again. Cause for example, i KNOW that you, and everyone else here will be happy again, and get over it, meet someone new etc.. but its so hard to imagine it happening to yourself, at least right now. I really really have to fight the urge to go on skype. He left me in such a horrible way, that i CANT believe that its ending like this. I want to call him again soo bad, but I know he will hang up on me again. I wish time can go faster by right now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 Damn I'm so drunk and I'm fighting the urge to pm him...I soooo miss the sex chemistry I know this is a bit embarrassing but I want to vent I miss him sooo much this time... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I am STRUGGELIING today too fight the urge to see if he has written me, and to just call him. FORTUNATELY I have a busy weekend..But ugh..so hard. I feel you @dontgiveuponme But dont pm him now @dontgiveuponme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 im trying soooo hard i wish he will pm me now i had this reconciliation thoughts but i know if ill pm him i will regret it tomorrow..one thing i hate being drunk..im having fun but wish with him... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I know EXACTLYY how you feel.. @dontgiveuponme you are not alone feeling like this. and yes, you will regret it tomorrow :/ Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 @dontgiveuponme last saturday, 3 in the night I CALLED him...he didnt pick up of course, or said anything the next day, and i texted him and all the next day, he ignored me. And thats when I decided for the NC... its hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 What helped me not to contact is the pit in the stomach feeling you get right after you hit send. You can't take it back, and when you really look at what you wrote to him/her, it probably is not of any importance. It is just a validation check. Well, personally, I wasn't getting any validation. I have NEVER been good with NC. Longest I have gone is 66 days, then something will come up. Last time was 50 days, and I broke. But, point is, I have NEVER gotten what I wanted from the conversation. Just the other day, she wrote something about her struggling, residual feelings, etc. But, still NOT want I wanted. And to be honest, that hurt worse. So, I am back in the early stages of NC (or LC since we work together). One day it will stick. I do know every day that I don't contact and I do workout, it is a better feeling day than if I do. Keep moving forward.. all we can do... really 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 this2shallpass same here been begging and pleading last week but 4 days NC now since hes ignoring me..We can pass it ur not alone they will realized what they are missing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 @dontgiveuponme we are at the same "place" i think...NC since sunday, 4th day today, and I was pleading and begging him, and he ignored me yes..brutal.. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Think yourself lucky. I know my ex would answer me forever to appease her own guilt. I had to go NC to get myself to move on. It is better in the long run, otherwise I would waste my life in a one sided love affair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greenbee81 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I wake up with similar feelings. It goes away while I'm at work, but when I'm sitting in my bed alone the sadness comes back. Luckily we have a great community here to help us all out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 Mary oak i envy you can go NC that long.mine is 5days now and i woke up and check my fb and he leave me a message asking how am i should i reply or not? greenbee I hate it too when im alone in my bed the other day i took all those things i had in my room that reminds me of him.Feel free to vent here your not alone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
feelinggood Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 dontgiveuponme, do u still rmb me? I haven't been on LS for awhile and wow your thread has so many posts now! I'm not counting the no. of NC days now, it makes me sick. On the 14th it suddenly hit me that it has been 10 days. AND I GET NOTHING FROM HIM, NOTHING AT ALL! It hurts so bad Doesn't he miss me just a little bit? Why is he so cold now? I know if I contact him he'll reply me, but I don't feel like doing it, he should be the one contacting me right... It's crazy thinking about all these... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontgiveuponme Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 hi feelinggood i still remember you my ex leave me a message in fb today asking how am i doing i reply saying im good and didnt ask back how is he.Ill say its better if he wont contact you at all.Even if he still have feelings or still care about you it wont change anything.The relationship is dead. Before im praying wish he will contact me maybe because i just want to make sure he still thinks about me and he did but it didnt change anything.Things will get better ill assure you that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 @dontgiveuponme did he answer ur message? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 I have learned that a message is just a message. To someone who is not hurting, it is just typing a few words on a screen. There is no thought put into it. But, still, we decipher every word. Every sentence. A message is a lame attempt to get rid of guilt. Or may just be a "feeler". Or, mostly likely, they are bored. It's not fair, but it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) The man I thought I loved messaged me for months after we split up (his decision)... an incredible number of texts a day... but it was all just general chit chat. In my mind this was all going to one day lead to him realising what I meant to him, but a year on and it hasn't. The texting has slowed, and the more I think on it the more I think that I just made the separation easier for him as he didn't have to deal with me suddenly not being there. For me it was and still is a nightmare as it made me all the more attached. Not really offering words of advice here, but just another one of the many who can say that I know what you're feeling... and that I wish I knew how to stop thinking over something that will never happen x Edited May 16, 2014 by sportygirl Typo Link to post Share on other sites
greenbee81 Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Well this NC is tough, but gets easier. This morning she sent an email asking how I was, and that things were looking up for her. She said she's in love with the affair guy... like I wanted to know haha. I didn't respond naturally, but had to fight the urge to. I feel like she's going to get the feeling that I'm mad at her and ignoring her on purpose, but I don't know. We were good friends before we got together, many fundamental ideas we shared. It socks because there are very few women I connect with. Link to post Share on other sites
feelinggood Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 @dontgiveuponme, glad that you rmb me Well, I guess it's good that he's not contacting me at this moment. If not I would have to restart my NC again, with an added knife in my heart... But somehow, I just have the feeling that, one day we'll cross our path again... @greenbee, aww that sucks big time *hugs*. Just don't reply her, there's no purpose to, unless you are totally over her and just wanna be friends. I don't think I'm in the shoes to console you since I'm not over my ex too... but just to let you know, you are not alone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
namastemeow Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 i feel you. I am scared of facing the future alone after all this time i planned things just to be with him and spend the rest of my life with him. It always feel so good to wake up next to him, usually one hour before i get ready i would just hug him and back to sleep for a while. smelling his scent. listening him breathing. Now i am alone. Also most of my friends are married and im no longer close to them so i really dont have friends anymore. It just hurt me a lot im depressed i feel like my life is pointless. I am scared i will never find someone as much as i like him. sometimes talking to someone really does help but im sure they are fed up with me always telling them how broken i am and stuff. I really need someone to talk to all day. so i can stop messaging him. this hurt so much i dont even know what to do anymore Link to post Share on other sites
this2shallpass Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 @namastemeow i feel you. I had NC, and after he texted me 15 times i answered him...stupid of me. I got burned. He started ignoring me again, and the pain since he did it the first day all came back. Im SO sad because I didnt think he was like this, such a mean person, and im disappointed in myself. You are not alone..i feel so lost now and hurt all over again. You have to try to stop messaging him, I promise you it will make you feel better..not right away, but after some days already it will..try to be strong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
namastemeow Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 @namastemeow i feel you. I had NC, and after he texted me 15 times i answered him...stupid of me. I got burned. He started ignoring me again, and the pain since he did it the first day all came back. Im SO sad because I didnt think he was like this, such a mean person, and im disappointed in myself. You are not alone..i feel so lost now and hurt all over again. You have to try to stop messaging him, I promise you it will make you feel better..not right away, but after some days already it will..try to be strong. I wish he would text me but nope not at all, i keep being the one who text first. I miss seeing him. Today i told him that im going to our apartment to get some of my stuff since he doesnt want us live together anymore. I only told him "im coming after work" he replied "youre going to get your stuff right?" then i broke down after reading that. It hits me so much. He really doesnt want to see me anymore. He said he needs time and i have to give him time so he can think about our relationship, in about 3 months hes going back to his country, he said maybe he will comeback, but what if he doesnt? whats the point of me waiting, right? His bestfriend told me that he is just really homesick and he cannot think right and he need to go back home asap. idk.... i just miss him Link to post Share on other sites
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