I can't tell if I'm being a crazy, insecure GF, or is there something going on

[jasmine_100]

My bf and I are both 24 years old, and have been dating for about 10 months now. We communicate well, respect one another, and get along great, however THIS issue has been coming between us a lot lately. Well, my boyfriend is friends with his ex-gf. But for the first 2-3 months of our relationship, he told me she was only a "good-friend". 2-3 months later, I found it weird how he was often hanging out with this "good-friend" - going to the movies, shopping together, eating out, and HE tells me he wants to buy her a birthday gift. When I confronted him about this he told me that she was his ex-gf, but is completely meaningless to him now, and he sees her nothing more than a good friend; which is why he also told me she was a good friend. I let that go, and on we went with our relationship.

 

Following this, I noticed that she started posting catty comments on social media; he told me this was because she was obviously bothered by my bf dating me. But he assured me he shut down her advances, and didn't encourage her behavior. (I trust my boyfriend, and didn't have any proof to think otherwise, so I believed this as well) A mutual friend of ours then told me that this SAME ex had cheated on my boyfriend. I confronted my boyfriend about this, and asked him why he was still on good terms with someone who CHEATED on him, and why would he want to be buying a girl like that presents for? My boyfriend again said she was meaningless, and because he's over the cheating, they could be on good terms. As for the gift part, my boyfriend swore that he didn't get her anything but only told me he was buying her things once to make me jealous because apparently I made him jealous about something. Anyways, I got over that as well, and moved on.

 

My boyfriend then realized that I was becoming uncomfortable about her activity on social media, so he gave me his facebook password. Generally, I'm not the snooping type, so I never went through his facebook. He, however, HIMSELF told me that I had the authority to go through his facebook, and phone whenever I pleased. Now, I've had his password for 3 months now, but I have not once looked. Today, however, he left his laptop on, and I looked through his fb (which he DID give me the permission to do anyway) First thing I did was look for her in his messages, and unsurprisingly, all previous messages between him and her were deleted. I talked to him about this, and he said that he deleted it because there were things they said to each other in the past when they were dating, and so he decided to just delete the entire thing.

 

Now, my boyfriend seems to have an explanation for everything. And because he does invest a lot of time in me, and doesn't hang out with her anymore (they just keep in touch via text), I am compelled to believe that I am being crazy, and there is in fact nothing going on. I'm just confused... I don't know if it's my insecurities leading me to believe there is something going on, or should I genuinely be concerned

[Omei]

I had somewhat of this issue when I dated my five year ex they didnt hang but clearly she had intentions.

 

In my book friendships with ex's can be done I've seen it work and not work but as soon as one or the other makes advances to be beyond a friendship to me that's grounds for termination or request of so since its no longer at a friend level.

 

This woman is hanging out with your bf in somewhat of a date atmophere while making advances and sorry but him just "shutting her down" isn't enough she broke that friendship barrier in my mind and lost your trust to hang with your partner.

 

If hes not hanging out with her anymore, good drop it their texts will eventually fade off too. You cant prove anything let it go for now unless he starts hanging with her again.

 

You can use what I said too about the "she crossed the just friendship line and broke my trust of my bf hanging out with her, it was a chance she was willing to take, you declined now that she's made her intentions clear I can no longer support this relationship"

 

Took me forever to get my old bfs ex removed when we were together I was fine with the friendship too till she crossed it....that line is what finally got him to understand how I felt.

Edited May 6, 2014 by Omei