Strange encounters with my ex...

[David87]

The last week was.....how should I put this ... strange ) lol

 

 

Two years have passed since my ex dumped me on 30 april. We share the same group of friends and I was invited to a barbeque, she and her bf were invited to. I accepted but I decided to live my car home because I wanted to drink..

 

So far so good right ) lol. Every body left but I didn't had a ride and my ex's bf invited me to come with them so the 3 of us went to the place where we had the barbeque. We talked and all seemed to be fine. After that day I was invited to other parties and meetings and my ex was always there. We talked a bit every time she was very friendly with me.

 

This has never happened since we broke up because she always avoided places where she knew I was going to be, I'm not sure why. Anyway this week my ex and her bf invited my and my gf (we started to date a month a go )to come with them on a trip to the mountains. I said ill think about it...

 

 

Last night I found out that her boyfriend kicked my ex out of his house and was mental about the whole thing...he basically dumped her in a very bad way.

 

 

I'm not sure what to make of all this, but a part of me wants to talk to her.....I guess that the best way is to wait and see if she initiates something and not the other way around.

[mutualove]

Why do you even care David?The prefix "ex" means what they go through doesn't concern us at all anymore..

 

Lebe dein eigenes Leben;)

[David87]

Well I wish I knew why do I even care, but I don't.

[Haydn]

Nothing wrong with being concerned my friend. Has she asked for any help?

[David87]

No she did not, we only talked a little bit last week, but since her break up I haven't heard from her.

[Haydn]

I know i will be `hung` for saying this. Are you a worried if she is ok? If you are then i guess a little little help is ok. Before i get my head chopped off by the mob, i am just saying if she did need some help, it is not such a bad thing. Maybe have a chat to your GF about it. Be open.

[David87]

Thanks, I'll only talk to her if she initiates the convo or if she reaches out, if not I wont do anything. Last night I almost made a huge mistake, I wanted to call her when I heard the news but I managed to control myself.

[Haydn]

That`s probably best. But i know you will do the right thing mate. In BP next week.......

[flight E]

Don't contact her unless she reaches u then you can decide if and to what extent you will help

[organizedchaos]

What I don't understand is this...you have a gf. You and the ex split two years ago. Yet you post this in Second Chances?

[David87]

What I don't understand is this...you have a gf. You and the ex split two years ago. Yet you post this in Second Chances?

 

Yeah because I have feelings for my ex that's why. I only have a girlfriend for a month now....

[mutualove]

Dude the contact thing would've been a maybe IF you only regarded her as friend with zero feelings.

 

If you still have feelings then like I said remember what "ex" stands for.

 

By the way since she is probably broken up recently I probably wouldn't consider giving it a shot even if she clearly stated she wants to be back.

 

Besides you have a girlfriend now and it doesn't matter 1 month or year does it really seem fair to her??

[Damaged217]

Yeah because I have feelings for my ex that's why. I only have a girlfriend for a month now....

 

If you have feelings for your ex, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE break up with your current gf. I've dated 3 guys who were still hung up on their exes and you don't even understand what that does to a girl. This is not fair to your current gf.

 

Like some others have said, this girl is an 'ex' for a reason. Plus she's vulnerable right now since she just got broken up with. If she reaches out to you, it's because she's alone and you are a security blanket for her. She dumped YOU remember. Don't give her the satisfaction.

[David87]

You are right, of course I wont contact her. But I don't know what I'll do if she decides to call me...

[Hobbes' wagon]

Hi.

 

Does your current GF know about the whole ex gf situation? Does she know everything that's currently going on (including you still having feelings for her)?

 

My advice would be:

1. Be completely honest with your current GF

2. If you stay with your current GF, cut off ALL contact with the ex and avoid going to places where she'll be. You need to get over her, and no contact is the way to go.

 

Best wishes

[Hobbes' wagon]

And if you're serious about not wanting to talk to her, change your phone number. It will avoid the whole "I don't know what I'll do if she calls". If you leave your phone number intact, you're basically saying you'd want to talk to her. Which is, imo, unfair to your current GF. Try to see the situation the other way around, how would you feel if your GF was in your position.

[David87]

My GF knows that I hang out with my ex a couple of times last week and was ok about it.

[martaldn]

hey David.

Please dont contact her. for the simply reason she can use U as a rebound and this is something you dont need from her.

if she contacts you of course you shouldnt slam the door on her face and you can always help her as friend.

the most important thing is that your actual GF is ok with it so in case the Ex contacts you tell your actual GF about her..

Karma always does its job

[Rig88]

The danger here is , if you feel that her boyfriend has ended things with her because of you , it's easy to get carried away and something can so easily 'fire up' again due to the flattery. I'd personally wait for her to contact you and see how you feel from there. Always remember ex's are ex's for a reason - would you really want to risk jeopardising your new relationship for the sake of nostalgia? Good luck!

[xUnknown]

My GF knows that I hang out with my ex a couple of times last week and was ok about it.

 

First,

 

Your gf was not okay with it...she lied because she didn't want to make you feel bad and come off as insecure. She wasn't okay with you seeing your ex - they never are. Would you be okay with it??

 

Second,

 

DO NOT CONTACT HER. If she contacts you, you do nothing. Because she isn't your girlfriend anymore. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you". She was friendly to you because things were rocky with her bf. Now, she sees you're being friendly, compassionate, showing her attention and she runs to you. Now, if she contacts you, its because YOU'RE THE REBOUND....the one to help her over her ex.

 

Third,

 

Dump your gf. You still have feelings for your ex. It's only been 1 month. You'll both bounce back quick. You need to get over your ex (and that does not mean dump your gf to start talking to your ex --see above)

 

Fourth,

 

If your ex and her bf do work things out and get back together, DON'T go on that trip. Why? Because its a stupid idea to even consider it. You have feelings for her, so you're going to be giving your ex more attention than your gf. Its only going to be awkward for everyone and most likely will end with someone being in tears. Just Don't.

[SomeHeart]

Be careful here! It all seems a bit 'baity' to get you involved again.

[David87]

xUnknown thanks for for the advice. She hasn't contacted me and I haven't contacted her so everything is alright. I wont dump my current gf because things seems to work preet well for us. She's a very sweet 'kid'.

[xUnknown]

xUnknown thanks for for the advice. She hasn't contacted me and I haven't contacted her so everything is alright. I wont dump my current gf because things seems to work preet well for us. She's a very sweet 'kid'.

 

Gotta stay NC with the ex. If she tries to crawl back into your life (as it seems) you have to cut her out. Kick her to the curb...she's just mess with your feelings with you and your current gf and you'll then be in pickle even more. Stay NC, you're done with her, keep it that way.