Man..Life sucks..Maybe I should end it.....

[Crono69]

I thought me and my friend had something going, but I guess not... I told her I didnt want to go to the movies just as friends and she asked what I meant and if I still wanted to go. We did go and I thought she knew why I went but apparently not. Today I told her my friend asked who I went to the movie with and I didnt tell him and she said "Why? Because we went as just friends?" I thought I made myself pretty clear I didnt want that. So I asked "Is that it? You just want to be friends?" and she said yea.... I am very hurt by this because I feel used by her. Used by somebody I cared for. We were good friends since the beginning of the school year, and we really only had eachother at school and we skipped often, but now I feel thats why she hung out with me. For rides. I would also buy her food and I helped her get a movie when she was short on cash. Did I ever get anything out of this? No. I dont think she ever wanted to be my friend.

 

We were talking on the phone today also about this crap and she said she is hurt that I think she just uses me. Shes just trying to make me feel bad about this when its her fault for leading me on like this. I mean why else would I do these things for her? I even helped her break up with her bf a while ago! I drove her to the mall so they could talk and to his house so she could return his necklace. I really wanted something more since last weak because we were arguing alot and she kept getting mad at me and I felt she didnt appreciate me for the things I do for her so I needed to know how she felt about me. Since she just wants to be friends I feel like she never wanted to be friends in the 1st place since she wants is for me to drive her places while we skip school. She tells me how she hates her Ex bf and she enjoys my company, then why doesnt she want more with me? We have alot in common and we get along good. I must be pretty damn ugly then.......

 

I dont know what to do anymore. Ive had a crappy life, then I met her and I was happy for the 1st time in a long time. How can I go on living like crap?.... Im too embarrassed and hurt. She was really my only friend. My friend who lives near me doesnt talk to me anymore, and my 2 best friends live far away.

Why the hell would she do this to me? Why didnt she tell me we were going to the movies as friends? She knew what I wanted yet she still went. Why?

She said she thought thats what I wanted but she wanted to hear if from my mouth because I didnt make myself clear. I asked her if she would have went if I did and she said she woulld have clarified we were just friends. Why didnt she tell me anyways?! I dont think we can be friends after this ****. She says she still wants to and I do to but I dont know..... I dont know how our friendship ( dont know if you can even call it that) can survive this.

 

She said shed call me back later because she wanted to think this over. Well if it comes to it I better say bye now. Later guys, have a nice life and I hope you guys never have to feel this pain. Life sucks.....

[AmHopeful]

I hope you're not planning on anything rash, I know you're hurting right now but there's a whole world out there and as the saying goes, "There's plenty of fish in the sea." Give it some time, tomorrow is a new day and you never know what might just be - good luck and keep your chin up!

[Mr Spock]

Ok, I just have to say reading your post you weren't clear. Telling someone you don't want to go as "friends" isn't the same as saying "I really like you, let's go out on a date"

 

It seems to me that you expect her to return your feelings simply because you two were friends-it doesn't work like that, friendship doesn't work like that. You now look back and think about all the things you did for her, drive her around, rent a movie-and feel cheated. "what did I get out of it" you got companionship. Now, you want sex, love-do you feel she owes it to you to return your feelings?

 

 

Your life does not suck as much as you think it does. She thought you were fun enough to hang out with, others will too!!! And you'll find a friend that treats you equally and won't make you feel used. Promise.

[whichwayisup]

Don't put all your eggs in one basket...Meaning seems you were relying on her to make YOU happy. That is needy and can really drain somebody if you are their only good thing in their life.

 

She is not worth doing something stupid over. Tomorrow is there and will be a better day.

 

Maybe the friendship was too intense for her...Maybe she knew you liked her more than a friend yet she DID like you alot, just not more than a friend and couldn't handle knowing how much you felt for her? This is her problem why she isn't it you...Not your fault. Don't blame yourself okay?

 

Reach out to your other friends, even though they live far, call them and talk to them on the phone or online. Don't be alone right now...Be with your family as well.

 

I hope you feel better tomorrow Crono69

[UCFKevin]

There's not a single person on this entire earth that's worth killing yourself over. No one.

 

So don't do it.

 

Why are you jumping to a bad outcome already, anyway?

 

I find this troubling, though:

 

Did I ever get anything out of this? No.

 

What exactly were you expecting in return?

 

You were being a friend, doing what friends do. What, you think because you take her to a movie she should put out or something?

 

If she says she still wants you as a friend, believe her. She would've said so if it was otherwise the case.

[Crono69]

Shes not the only reason. Ive accually planned to do it in the past..... I cant see myself being very successful but I felt really secure when I was with her and that I could suceed in life. She was telling me how she really needs to click with a guy and have alot in common to get something going but I think that is bull****. Funny thing is we have almost everything in common. She probably isnt attracted to me like all the other girls out there.... No one has ever wanted me... I thought it had changed but I guess not.... hehehe, she said she is not looking for a relationship, why cant she just tell me why? She said there is nothing wtong with me but then why doesnt she like me? I must be one ugly dude. But She was always touching me and she says im really her only friend at school. When we were watching the movie we saw the previews and she said "We" should watch that movie when she usually says She wants to watch that movie. Why would she say that? Anyone think maybe she does want something just not now? She did just break up with her bf a month ago. She said she didnt like him though. Also she seems to be attatched to her other ex because they have alot in common and were together for a while. We have alot in common! She even said nothing can happen with her other ex cause she doesnt know where he is or something like that. Does she think he is better then me? Even after I treat her. I think she knew I liked her but used it to her advantage... I hate my life... How can we continue to be friends with this situation? She says she wants to but sometimes I say I dont think we can and she doesnt even fight for our friendship, only says Oh, I do want to be your friend. We talked a few hours ago and she said she had to go but I asked her to call back and she said in an hour and she hasnt yet....She hates me now,huh? How can I face her tomorrow? I really want to work this out but I cant be around her right now. hehehe, my family will think im pathetic because they think she is my gf and they will wonder why I do these things with her when she is not. I am so embarrassed. She never cared about me. and she has the nerve to say SHE is hurt when I said she is using me. Now im just rambling on, ill go now..

[VirginiaBob]

If you do decide that you want to die, I suggest you use the waiting method. Here's how it works:

 

1. Wait 50 to 60 years.

 

2. Die from old age.

[Crono69]

I dont want to kill myself because I love my family and my friends, even her. But I dont like living like ****. Maybe I shouldnt have been so nice to her.... Nice guys DO finish last.

[Tony]

If you keep giving things and attaching strings to your kindness, you will lose everytime. I am fascinated that you helped her break up with her boyfriend and all the while you had in mind getting together with her. I think you need to think about this and decide who is really misleading who and who is not being an honest friend.

 

She has made it very clear to you that she wants to be friends with you, and those are very hard to find. You, on the other hand, are plotting every one of your actions around her with the clear intention of garnering her romantic favor. If you make it very clear to her you are being nice to her for the sole purpose of winning her heart, then OK. She'll have to respond to that. But if you keep doing all kinds of things for her for the sole purpose of getting something in return, you'll lose every time.

 

Nice guys don't finish last but dishonest ones do everytime. Be right up front with your feelings and realize you can't buy love. If a lady is going to care about you, she'll do so no matter how much or how little you do for her. If a lady isn't going to care for you, she'll not care for you even if you give her the entire universe. Excessive generosity never works in favor of romance, according to my personal observations.

 

It's really simple....but many people take years to understand this. Stop being so nice with ulterior motives.

 

"Blessed is he who expects nothing for he will never be disappointed." Benjamin Franklin (Poor Richard's Almanac)

[Mr Spock]

It's really simple....but many people take years to understand this. Stop being so nice with ulterior motives.

 

Love that.

 

 

A. If she wasn't touching your penis, it doesn't count.

B. I bet there are lots of other girls out there who would like to (touch you there)

C. As you get older, things will get better.

D. It may be you're not really THAT into her, just now that she's available because her ex and her are splitsville.

 

E. Don't you have any hobbies? Sports?

[Crono69]

She has grabbed stuff off my crotch area before. Does that count? I just dont get it. I thought maybe this is what she wanted. To be more. Why would she be with me so much? Alot of people already think we are together. I do have hobbies, in fact most of them she likes too. Do you guys think I should stop being her friend? Stay her friend but keep distant, which will probably end up in us not being friends or just pretend this never happend? Do you think she thinks im too ugly thats why she doesnt wanna be with me? She does hang with me so I dont think she is embarrassed to be seen with me. Have you ever had an ugly friend that you didnt mind being around. I sure hope im not ugly. Why doesnt she like me? I dont get it...

[FolderWife]

Post your picture, and I'll tell you if you're ugly or not.

[Crono69]

uh, yea right. i kinda fixed things with her. she said things were weird cause we werent talking but then i said i just want what we used to have and if something happened between us in the future idbe fine with that unless you dont think anything should happen. she said she didnt know. but i told her if she told me now id think nothing of it anymore. was she sparing my feelings or was she serious? I told her i want what we hadwhen we werent arguing and go t movies and she said "Ok!" i really want more but i dont wanna do anything because i dont want to lose her. i hate how she makes me feel like one of her lowly guy friends even though she hangs with me at school alot. she said if she saw her ex of 3 years (broke up cause she moved) shed get back with him but also said that would never happen. that really hurt. i do everything for her, why cant she love me likeshe does him?

[moimeme]

Crono

 

You really need to take your own power back. Don't give it away to someone else to 'make' you feel one way or another. You are in charge of your feelings. Make up your mind to enjoy life. Heck, you're still in school even! There's years and years to find a partner, but before you do, you need to be your own strong person.

 

Don't lean the responsibility for your life and feelings on somebody else. Take your responsibility up and manage your own life. Even people who love each other very much can suffer loss when one or the other gets sick or dies - and you don't have to be old to do that. I knew a woman who was 22 when she became a widow. So be strong for your own life. People should be welcome additions, not your whole life.

[Reactant]

I read wonderful posts and suggestion here, I hope u are reading and understanding what tehy really mean.

 

When i read most of your comments, i hear one thing. "Me, me, me, me, me..."

Think for a moment:

-Yes, maybe she is better off with you.

-Yes, you guys have so much in common.

-Yes, this would make life much better for you.

 

But would she really be happy? Is this what she wants? She obviously wants you as a friend; nothing more.

Learn to accept it, I know its hard, believe me I do. But thats her decision. She has her reasons, and damn it, u are just going to have to respect that.

 

 

Heres some stuff I got from random sources that should guide u in the pain u are feeling:

 

"Resolve to move on. Dwelling on the fact that she turned you down isn't healthy. Allow yourself time to recover, but don't fixate on it. Enjoy looking forward to who else might be out there for you. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, perhaps it just wasn't meant to be.

 

Try thinking of it as her loss. Think positively and focus on what you have to offer that she will miss out on and realize that those good qualities will eventually appeal to another girl. It's a cliche, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

It may hurt now, but with time and a positive attitude, you'll get through it.

 

Be aware that it is not your fault, it is her taste/judgement/momentary state.

 

Women are an inexplicable unpredictable phenomena.

 

Maybe you are blond and she likes dark hair. Maybe you are not her type. Maybe she is in a relationship you don't know about.

 

Even if you could bend yourself backwards and "win her", ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship where you are very much in love and your partner is barely interested and ready to walk away for any reason."

[amerikajin]

Crono,

 

Being young is not always so easy. I wasn't ever very successful with women when I was younger because I never knew anything about the keys to attraction, and like you, I felt inadequate at times. But take the advice of everyone else here: no girl is worth destroying your life over. Eventually, you'll find what you're looking for.

 

Just looking at your situation, I'd also have to agree that your intentions weren't clear. She may not have known what you wanted from the beginning. Or maybe she did and she decided that since you were already friends, it might be best to stay friends, in which case you've learned one of the most important lessons about dating: avoid being put in the "friends" category, because once you're just a friend, it's hard to remove that label.

[Butterfly28]

Originally posted by Reactant

Women are an inexplicable unpredictable phenomena.

 

 

 

AMEN to that...and I'm a woman!

 

I've also learned that men are very different too. That's what makes everything great. We are different, and the wiser we get, we learn to accept it, and adapt, and learn from one another.

 

This too will pass, Crono. You'll see.