Does online dating work? What has been your experience?

[BC1980]

I've recently tried OLD for the first time. My impression is that it's like regular dating. Sometimes, you get lucky. Sometimes you don't. I think it's best used to supplement your dating life. It's not magic. It probably increases your odds of finding someone, but you have to stick with it. Just like in real life, it could take you years to find someone.

 

I've had a mixed bag. Went on a date with one gut whose credit card got declined, and he talked about his ex wife all night. The other guy seemed nice on the phone, but there was no chemistry in person. He obviously felt the same way because he never called again. It's not unlike anything I haven't experienced in real life.

[PegNosePete]

It's not unlike anything I haven't experienced in real life.

Yep - exactly!

 

OLD is basically just an introduction agent. As soon as you get to the real life meeting it's not online any more.

 

The people who are on OLD are exactly the same people who are in the bar, at the car wash, in your hiking group, in the office next door. It's just the method of introduction that is different. As soon as you're both in a room together it doesn't make one hoot of difference whether you met online or in the pet shampooer's waiting line.

[dg2501]

Honestly, in my experience, online dating has been good for when I'm bored and need something to do. I've been at it for a little while and I haven't met anyone of substance, or anyone who's been honest with me.

 

I've had a ton of first and only dates. That's fine. Then I've had:

 

1. The guy who proclaimed to be 6 feet tall and showed up and was my height exactly and didn't look like his pics.

 

2. The guy who turned out to be an alcoholic.

 

3. The guy who turned out to be an extreme pantyhose fetishist.

 

4. The guy who did a complete mind-f.uck manipulation thing to me and led me on only to poof.

 

5. The guy who only wanted to be text buddies.

 

6. The guy who only texted me emoticons.

 

7. The guy who threatened to kill me.

 

So yeah. It's been a mixed bag.

 

 

OF TRASH.

 

I can relate with some of the women I've met.

There has been the:

1. I want to see you again until I wake up tomorrow and realize I have unresolved issues with my ex. That's happened twice.

 

2. The psychoanalyst or PSYCHOanalyst. She was actually a school principal.

 

3. The vacant beauty queen who could not carry a conversation. Hope you guys have fun with that one.

 

4. sexter

 

5. Why don't you compliment every pic I send you single mom.

 

I don't know if categorizing them as flakes is accurate, but my experience so far has been interesting. Interestingly bad, but somewhat entertaining

[Keenly]

I can relate with some of the women I've met.

There has been the:

1. I want to see you again until I wake up tomorrow and realize I have unresolved issues with my ex. That's happened twice.

 

2. The psychoanalyst or PSYCHOanalyst. She was actually a school principal.

 

3. The vacant beauty queen who could not carry a conversation. Hope you guys have fun with that one.

 

4. sexter

 

5. Why don't you compliment every pic I send you single mom.

 

I don't know if categorizing them as flakes is accurate, but my experience so far has been interesting. Interestingly bad, but somewhat entertaining

Speaking of your last point, I get so turned off if she sends me a pic before the first date.

[HappyLove]

Speaking of your last point, I get so turned off if she sends me a pic before the first date.

 

Then there's that. You do one little thing a person doesn't like and they're so easily turned off! Oh he/she didn't answer this question right. Oh you're sending me a pic? Oh, you didn't send me a pic? Oh, you didn't respond to my gm text fast enough. OLDing is such a joke! People have ridiculous expectations but good for you guys who continue to fight the good fight and meet a match.

[Untouched]

I posted a thread a few minutes ago. I am a virgin in college and I want to date. I'm having troubles figuring it out in my school. I wonder if I should try online dating. Do you need to post pictures? I have already had problems with guys just wanting to have sex really fast - I guess the way I look is sexy. And from what I read guys are suspicious if girls do not post pictures showing their whole body, for fear the girls will turn out to be fat. I really have a good figure (if I do say so myself! ) but it seems kind of wrong to put it out there like advertising …

 

I DO want to start having sex, but I really think I would need to get to know a guy first. Pretty well.

 

Will guys contact me if I don't put pictures up?

[Keenly]

Then there's that. You do one little thing a person doesn't like and they're so easily turned off! Oh he/she didn't answer this question right. Oh you're sending me a pic? Oh, you didn't send me a pic? Oh, you didn't respond to my gm text fast enough. OLDing is such a joke! People have ridiculous expectations but good for you guys who continue to fight the good fight and meet a match.

 

It dies really suck that we are so quick to judge each other. With everything. But because it works both ways, it won't ever stop.

 

For example, the reason I don't like the pic thing is because I have to ask myself " is she looking for attention and validation, or a companion? "

 

OLD is full of men that only want a night of sex and then disappear. It's also full of cute to gorgeous women who make a profile with the sole intention of getting compliments and validation.

 

Both sides suck. Because its the internet, you can expect 80 to 90% of peoples honesty to fly right out the window. That could be the single worst part about online dating, the lack of honesty. On all sides.

[Keenly]

I posted a thread a few minutes ago. I am a virgin in college and I want to date. I'm having troubles figuring it out in my school. I wonder if I should try online dating. Do you need to post pictures? I have already had problems with guys just wanting to have sex really fast - I guess the way I look is sexy. And from what I read guys are suspicious if girls do not post pictures showing their whole body, for fear the girls will turn out to be fat. I really have a good figure (if I do say so myself! ) but it seems kind of wrong to put it out there like advertising …

 

I DO want to start having sex, but I really think I would need to get to know a guy first. Pretty well.

 

Will guys contact me if I don't put pictures up?

 

Sometimes. I know I personally wouldn't, because I need to be attracted to my partner. I can't fake attraction. She doesn't have to be super pretty, but I need to like looking at her because I intend to spend a lot of time with her in the future.

[normal person]

I posted a thread a few minutes ago. I am a virgin in college and I want to date. I'm having troubles figuring it out in my school. I wonder if I should try online dating. Do you need to post pictures? I have already had problems with guys just wanting to have sex really fast - I guess the way I look is sexy. And from what I read guys are suspicious if girls do not post pictures showing their whole body, for fear the girls will turn out to be fat. I really have a good figure (if I do say so myself! ) but it seems kind of wrong to put it out there like advertising …

 

I DO want to start having sex, but I really think I would need to get to know a guy first. Pretty well.

 

Will guys contact me if I don't put pictures up?

 

Think about this, would you meet someone who didn't have a picture? Would you want to meet someone who wasn't discerning enough to care what you look like?

 

It's so easy for us all to say "let's not judge books by their covers," but in all honesty, the cover is the first thing you're going to notice and judge. That's why OLD has pictures. You put in your parameters, do a search, and pick from the people who both meet those requirements and are attractive to you.

 

If you're in college and you're as attractive as you say you are, you shouldn't have many issues. OLD is more geared toward people who are out of college and don't have the time or opportunity to run into people left and right like on a college campus.

[KatZee]

I think you should give these guys a chance. Especially number 7, he is a keeper.

 

What dating site did you use? www.meet-an-inmate.com?

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

Hiiiiilllaarrrriious!

[johnpatric]

Personally, I like the thrill of meeting women in person. First of all, you can judge a woman's looks for yourself in person. We all know pictures from online dating sites can sometimes be deceiving.

 

Secondly, right then and there in person, you can show a woman your confidence from going up to her and talking to her, and in turn, find out her interest level in you by how she acts and talks in front of you. Right away, you build a repore with this woman, and she can then go home with you, or give you her number to meet up at a later time for a date. Also, you can find out right then and there that she may not be into you, and you can move on to the next girl in the club, bar, reception, etc. that same night, having the chance to meet several girls in all.

 

Lastly, if you do hit it off with this girl online and decide to meet up, your going to have to go through everything I just mentioned anyway. She might not like this guy she talked to online in person. I mean, we act and say stuff differently behind a barrier like the internet and phone, compared to in-person. The stress level is different when we physical invite someone into our social space, compared to a chat online.

 

It might be the 21st century with all this high technology that makes life easy, but when it comes to dating, the old school rules still apply.

[Zapbasket]

Back in 2007 I tried EHarmony and Match for a while and it was disappointing. Perhaps I had the wrong attitude? I remember scrolling through profiles and mostly not feeling interested enough in anyone to initiate contact or to respond to men who had contacted me. I found most guys' profiles to be generic, and many guys had photos of themselves with some woman clearly cut out of the frame. Then, when men contacted me it would be with a wink or something like, "Hey, you're pretty, wassup?" One guy who seemed promising at first was very keen on corresponding via emails but kept balking at meeting in person, which I found frustrating since for me I can't truly know whether I have chemistry with a person until I'm talking with them face to face. Another guy also seemed promising; we'd had a few emails back and forth...and then he asked me to email him my RESUME.

 

I started feeling like it was a waste of time to sit at home in front of the computer (I didn't have a Smartphone back then) and weed through. I felt like, if I were going to make this work, I'd have to devote a significant portion of time to many first dates in addition to the time online, at the expense of getting out there and building my life.

 

It seems you have to strike a balance between getting involved in new groups / classes / activities IRL and giving OLD a good shot. How do you do it; can you do it?

 

I live in a small town where it's hard to meet people. I feel like I'm "new" here since I was in a relationship for 3.5 years with someone who lived like a recluse and didn't introduce me to ANYONE save his family when I first moved here and then my job situation made it difficult if not impossible to meet people. So should someone in my position stick to getting involved in the community and building up their life that way, or supplement that with OLD? I really want to meet "The One" at this point but want to be sure I have a full life into which to integrate a relationship.

[Zapbasket]

 

Secondly, right then and there in person, you can show a woman your confidence from going up to her and talking to her, and in turn, find out her interest level in you by how she acts and talks in front of you. Right away, you build a repore with this woman, and she can then go home with you,

 

You have met women who will go home with you after the first date??? How often, comparatively speaking, does this happen?

[Andy_K]

Will guys contact me if I don't put pictures up?

 

Yes. But far fewer.

 

When I'm doing online dating, I make a habit of contacting any girls without pictures (and not asking for any for a while) because there's a much higher chance they'll reply, and every now and then it's one like you - a girl who is extremely attractive but doesn't want to be immediately judged on looks.

 

You'll also get guys calling you ugly and 'baiting' you to send them a pic and prove them wrong. Ignore them.

[nyny123]

To be honest the online dating scene and changed dramatically in the past 11 yrs. Met my first love online.

 

You just have to be prepared for most of the dates not to work out, but I'm the type that is selective about meeting up in the first place, so if we don't connect romantically in person, but we have a great vibe and enough in common, we become friends. Some of my closest friends I've met online.

 

Now-a-days in the instant gratification society we live in, the people I know with the most success as of late is the people just looking for a superficial hook-up, FWB situation.

 

I think a lot of dating sites are now watered down and practicing trickery in many ways i.e. putting up profiles of inactive members, emailing you "matches" whom you do not fit the description of what they are looking for racially, etc. And these are paid sites.

 

I don't go out much and I am on two paid sites. I thought paying would up the quality but so not the case. Even eHarmony has changed tremendously since the last time I was on it 3 yrs ago.

 

Start off with the free sites and you're pretty much living on a prayer from there. Maybe also join interest groups on Meetup.com. Maybe speed dating as well.

 

I'm on meetup and trying to see what I can find on there. I tried free dating sites without much luck I met very few decent men on there and I have thought about going on a paid dating site but probably going to be a waste of money

[BC1980]

I find it hard to get really interested in any of the profiles I look at because it's so impersonal. I have no idea what the person would be like if I were to meet him. What does his voice sound like for instance? Just basic things like that. The entire thing seems like too much work, so I honestly take it with a grain of salt. If I meet someone I like, great. If I don't, oh well.

[guest572]

I highly recommend it. I was single all my life until I tried it and had success. I wouldn't bother paying to use a dating service though, the free sites are ok.

[namastemeow]

hey i have been in an online dating and found my partner through online dating. we started it all in 2008. He came here visit me in my country he move here, and everything just fine. Although were not dating anymore but i do believe that online dating is a way to find a partner hehe.

The key is to stay honest and keep contact also requires a lot of understanding and patients.