Why don't women date younger men?

[Stillits]

I don't date but my exes have been younger than me (varying between a few months and up to 2 years). It's not something I specifically went for, it just sort of happened. Maybe it's because I'm just immature myself One of the relationships didn't work out in the end because I was ready to take a step in the relationship that he was still too immature/inexperienced to want to take..

..Which is probably exactly the reason why women don't date younger, if they want something serious. They want someone who has already formed their personality, is stable and knows their goals.

 

I'm 25 and would never date someone who is 18 though. I can't even put into words how much I have grown since I was 18, BUT there is a world of difference.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I think there is a BIG difference between dating someone "younger" when you're talking about men still in their late teens or just barely in their twenties and men who are hovering closer to their thirties. Many of the men in the first age group are indeed VERY young on all levels, even for a twenty-something year old girl. There really is a world of difference between 18 and 25.

 

I'm not exactly sure where that threshold is where young men become less young but if I had to guess, I'd say it would be around 28-29 (ish). At least that's been MY experience and of course, there are always exceptions to any rule.

 

I think the idea of men dating older/women dating younger is much more accepted today than years ago. I certainly don't feel any shame in it.

 

Whether you're doing it JUST for the sex or something much deeper, who cares? It's your life. If you're happy and feeling fulfilled and it's reciprocal and consensual, more power to you.

[still_an_Angel]

Hubby is 11years my junior and I carried the 'cougar' label for about 12years. We are separated now and have dated a guy 15years my junior. IME, its not the chronological age, because the guy I dated was way more mature, responsible, and career-driven (he's a lawyer) than my hubby.

[cmarkvon]

I'm dating someone who is 8 years younger than I am, and we've been together for just over a year. It's the loveliest relationship I've ever been in.

[central]

Of course there are exceptions, but the WHY of women usually dating older men is essentially biological.

 

Women (generally speaking, and from an evolutionary perspective) want a man who has proven himself in life, is mature, and has the resources to support her and their children. That is usually a man who is somewhat older (usually 1-10 years, optimum being 6 years according to population and fertility studies).

 

Men (generally, again) want women who are young, healthy and fertile, and the younger they are the longer they will be fertile. This concept has merit regardless of how old the man is, but other considerations can outweigh or over-rule this attraction.

 

Little of this is conscious choice, but it's the fundamental basis of attraction.

[Armegoggon]

Oh come on! I'm hardly seeing any good reasons as to why women won't date younger men.

 

I mean seriously, I've been told a lot that I'm more mature than most guys around my age. Yet, I just seem to possess lots of "intellectual inexperience". In other words, I seem like I'm smart but just not having enough experience that's all. That's why I think that older women are a better fit for me so I can get much smarter than right now.

 

And looking at OkCupid, I see most women who are in their early 20s want guys who are their age or older. Seriously, even today's standard seems to be the same as before? What's up with women not giving younger men a chance to talk to them? Seeing how they don't respond messages usually. So something tells me that my age is a difference.

 

Why don't I put myself as a 25 year old if that's the way how women see me as (at least those who have made a conversation out of me). I remember that the 26 year old woman actually thought I was 24 or something. Maybe that will attract women more.

 

So for my profile, should I write about the first thing people notice me as "Maturity. I'm more mature than most men"?

[aprilisi]

I am 37, most men my age don't show interest. Or they're in relationships. Or it's those dreaded two words "it's complicated". I prefer younger men. Think it gets easier in your late 30s, men are more settled in their late 20s. When I was 30 I wouldn't have considered it. And I still see 18 to 25 still being too young. But I have dated a 27 and 29 year old. Last year went on date with 23 year old, he seemed mature enough...met him online. I was wrong.

[Targetlock]

funnily enough recently I've been told by female friends that i would be better dating older women because of my maturity level (I'm 28) I've yet to date an older woman though (up to 5 years older maybe), none ever seem interested so far.

[GoreSP]

I LOVE younger men.

 

I think it's really a matter of preference. However, to be honest, I wouldn't date a guy who is younger than 25 for maturity reasons.

 

And yes, there are maturity reasons.

[Legatus]

I've been thinking about the same thing many times!

 

I mean I'm 26 and I was always looking for older women, or at least my age... anything below 24 now seems wrong. But to contradict myself I met my ex when she was 19 and I was 24 (not to mention my friend's sister who's 18 taking me to a party at her school haha - but it was great).. Didn't work out, mostly because I had that crazy idea I want to be a father by 25, and she wasn't done with partying.

 

I think older women are also more careful/suspicious about younger men, and rightly so. I have no idea how I would convince an older woman that I am ready for something serious. Very good job, career on the way, live by myself.. even though my dream is to travel I know that the only thing that could change my whole world is a woman and a child. Sounds cheesy I know..

 

I think the age 20-29 is most difficult. When I was 17-22 I met a lot of girls between 20-26 and they were fine, we both had fun etc. But now even being 26 year old, women of age > 29 will generlise that all I think about is partying and one night stands.

 

I guess the best way is to break the stereotypes : )

[Frank2thepoint]

I think the prevailing thought is that older women feel that younger men are just looking for sex and not a relationship.

 

Interesting because I've read posts on here that states the opposite. Older men dumping their wives, getting younger girls to have no strings attached sex with.

[halfcrazed_i]

I think that it all boils down to where 2 people are in their lives... I mean, there are some fun things that I did in my 20s (I'm 32) that I no longer find fun. And I wouldn't want to deprive a younger partner for doing so (like partying, impulse traveling, etc) because I feel that it's something they should experience as well. It's more of the been there, done that, don't wanna do it anymore...

 

Also, personally, I find that I've had to grow up a little faster than my peers -- that's why I tend to get along with older people more (in general). And I grew up with older siblings so my 'pop culture' references tend to be of the older variety. Naturally, I gravitate towards guys who are older than me because of this.

 

It's important to me that my partner and I have quite a bit in common. So if I'm going out with someone who can't get my 80s and 90s references, it becomes really tough for me to get along with that person. Basically, I would like to find someone who grew up in the same era as me so that we'd have a lot more to work with.

 

That said, even though I generally don't go out with younger guys... I also don't go out with guys MUCH older than I am.

Edited May 12, 2014 by halfcrazed_i

[lino]

Generally it's because younger men are considered to have less money.

 

Whenever I've had an older woman interested in me, it was one who had already gone through marriage, kids, divorce, etc and Less caring of the money I had.

They generally just saw me as an attractive guy that could help boost their ego after their divorce.

 

Just last year I had a mid 40s single mum pursuing me quite enthusiastically at the gym I go to.

If we were to wind back the clock 20 years I very much doubt she'd give me the time of day.

[lino]

Oh come on! I'm hardly seeing any good reasons as to why women won't date younger men.

 

I mean seriously, I've been told a lot that I'm more mature than most guys around my age. Yet, I just seem to possess lots of "intellectual inexperience". In other words, I seem like I'm smart but just not having enough experience that's all. That's why I think that older women are a better fit for me so I can get much smarter than right now.

 

And looking at OkCupid, I see most women who are in their early 20s want guys who are their age or older. Seriously, even today's standard seems to be the same as before? What's up with women not giving younger men a chance to talk to them? Seeing how they don't respond messages usually. So something tells me that my age is a difference.

 

Why don't I put myself as a 25 year old if that's the way how women see me as (at least those who have made a conversation out of me). I remember that the 26 year old woman actually thought I was 24 or something. Maybe that will attract women more.

 

So for my profile, should I write about the first thing people notice me as "Maturity. I'm more mature than most men"?

 

How much money have you got?

If none, it doesn't matter what age you put on your profile or how mature or intelligent you are.

[Els]

It's normal for people to have preconceived notions (younger men more immature, less stable, less likely to desire commitment, etc), but they can be dispelled when you really get to know the person. So, perhaps get to know more people, rather than relying solely on OLD?

 

I also detailed my reasons on your other thread, but not all of them apply to all women (or all younger men).

[Rexxy]

Well im 20 and was going out with a 24 year old.

 

She said that the reason I'll always attract older women is because of my maturity compared to most men my age.

 

If that helps.

[jbelle6]

I've dated much younger, I don't know if I would again, not ruling it out though.