TO ANYONE WHO READ MY OTHER POST

[Sticki]

He emailed me today. Nothing long, he wrote "whats up stranger" in the subject line and then he wrote "hey just a little note to say hello and ask whats up!"

 

I didnt reply. I am not gonna call. We havent spoken since saturday, and we usually talk everyday. I think I should just wait to see if he calls.....what do you think?

[Tony T]

Why are you wanting to continue to let this guy jerk you around?

 

Rather than being rude, wait two or three days and send him a two or three line reply...very business like...to his Email. If I were you, I would tell him you would prefer not receiving Email from him. Don't call him...EVER. What would be the point?

 

This guy is a player. When a lady ignores him, it drives him crazy. When a lady falls for him, he gives her a stuffed monkey that says he thinks he loves her and then he drops her like a hot potato.

 

Now, if you keep playing into this guy, any hurt you experience will be totally and completely your fault and not his. You know where this guy is coming from so if you want to go back for more punishment, get something going with him again.

[sparkle]

Sticki,

 

I agree with what Tony said. Don't call him. Don't reply. If you just can't resist replying, say something short like, "hey...been busy, bye".

 

Players don't change overnight. Maybe the following may shed some light:

 

Many people told me: "once a player, always a player" when I first started talking to my boyfriend. I believed that too. Now I think it's "once a player, ALMOST always a player, unless he's one of the few that grow up and change". And at the beginning, he thought of me as just another girl he could get action from. But I ignored him. I paid him no attention because I didn't want to get involved with a guy like that, and he knew it.

 

The first time I met him (4 years ago), he gave me his number. I didn't call. Every time he ran into me, he told me to call. I kept brushing him off.

 

Two years ago, he emailed me, asking to hang out. I didn't reply. A year after, he emailed again. I still didn't reply.

 

And over those 4 years, he slept with about 25 girls and 'messed around' with more. But he actually started 'growing up' and getting tired of that whole routine, I was the only challenge, all the other girls were giving in. He came to me again.

 

The only reason I talked to him that time was because he actually sounded sincere. But for a couple months, I still acted totally ininterested, I kept brushing him off, let him be the one to call or email. The more I did that, the more he became interested and he started coming around. And over that time, he stopped talking to many girls, he stopped DJ'ing, he stopped going to clubs or out all the time, and started devoting all his time to me. And when he became committed to me, he was completely different than he used to be. And I KNEW he was sincere.

 

My point is this, don't let him play you. Stay away. Don't call. Don't email. Keep brushing him off. Don't act the least bit interested. He may never change. And if he does, it is not an overnight process, not even over a month's time. And if he does change, he might not be interested in you then either. So meanwhile, go out and find some other guy to talk to, start other friendships and relationships. Don't wait around for him. Maybe he'll come around one day...but don't expect that day to come anytime soon.

 

Good luck!

[kristine]

I hate to sound like a broken record.....you we're actually hoping 1 post would give you the added encouragement that you know deep in your heart not to take!!! I have been out of a relationship since September with "A PLAYER". I was under the misguided notion that with the right woman...any man can change. I bent myself into a pretzel trying to cater to his every whim. He could never make up his mind whether he wanted me in his life on a permenant basis...or just remain friends. I finally got tired of the games and I stopped all communication with him. It was then that he would come running. I realized that the more I stayed away from him....the faster he'd call/e-mail. I was initially jumping at those carrots...he said he wants "ME".....(!!!!) but realized ultimately, it was always turning out the same. I know this is not what I truly wanted....nor do you..not now...not the way he is today. You DESERVE a more fulfilling and COMPLETE relationship. He is still figuring life out...take his cue and start growing yourself...I am still healing...but it does get easier...sometimes just to want something is not enough. Tough lesson. Especially if you are used to getting what you want in all other areas of your life. Be strong, Sticki. He cannot just walk in and out of your life like a revolving door. Let him know...you ain't playing anymore!!!!!

 

P.S. By the way.....why "Sticki".....it's really close to a last name of someone I know???

Sticki, I agree with what Tony said. Don't call him. Don't reply. If you just can't resist replying, say something short like, "hey...been busy, bye". Players don't change overnight. Maybe the following may shed some light: Many people told me: "once a player, always a player" when I first started talking to my boyfriend. I believed that too. Now I think it's "once a player, ALMOST always a player, unless he's one of the few that grow up and change". And at the beginning, he thought of me as just another girl he could get action from. But I ignored him. I paid him no attention because I didn't want to get involved with a guy like that, and he knew it. The first time I met him (4 years ago), he gave me his number. I didn't call. Every time he ran into me, he told me to call. I kept brushing him off. Two years ago, he emailed me, asking to hang out. I didn't reply. A year after, he emailed again. I still didn't reply. And over those 4 years, he slept with about 25 girls and 'messed around' with more. But he actually started 'growing up' and getting tired of that whole routine, I was the only challenge, all the other girls were giving in. He came to me again. The only reason I talked to him that time was because he actually sounded sincere. But for a couple months, I still acted totally ininterested, I kept brushing him off, let him be the one to call or email. The more I did that, the more he became interested and he started coming around. And over that time, he stopped talking to many girls, he stopped DJ'ing, he stopped going to clubs or out all the time, and started devoting all his time to me. And when he became committed to me, he was completely different than he used to be. And I KNEW he was sincere. My point is this, don't let him play you. Stay away. Don't call. Don't email. Keep brushing him off. Don't act the least bit interested. He may never change. And if he does, it is not an overnight process, not even over a month's time. And if he does change, he might not be interested in you then either. So meanwhile, go out and find some other guy to talk to, start other friendships and relationships. Don't wait around for him. Maybe he'll come around one day...but don't expect that day to come anytime soon. Good luck!