movingon45 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I've read in some posts re sending naughty photos/videos and I wonder if it's really part of the affair? My exMM used to ask me for those photos and I did reluctantly but I always crop my head or any identifying detail. He does the same thing. We trusted each other that we'd always delete right after. After a while I told him that I'm really uncomfortable sending so I want to stop. He wanted to continue but respected my wishes so we stopped. Right after I told him to stop he sent me a musical composition that he composed on guitar. I now wonder whether that was to lure me back in because I admit that I was so flattered because I thought that was so romantic of him. We both love music. That didn't lead me to sending photos again though because I was firm on my decision. Did you send nude photos and videos? Link to post Share on other sites
snappytomcat Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I've read in some posts re sending naughty photos/videos and I wonder if it's really part of the affair? My exMM used to ask me for those photos and I did reluctantly but I always crop my head or any identifying detail. He does the same thing. We trusted each other that we'd always delete right after. After a while I told him that I'm really uncomfortable sending so I want to stop. He wanted to continue but respected my wishes so we stopped. Right after I told him to stop he sent me a musical composition that he composed on guitar. I now wonder whether that was to lure me back in because I admit that I was so flattered because I thought that was so romantic of him. We both love music. That didn't lead me to sending photos again though because I was firm on my decision. Did you send nude photos and videos? im a bs,but I know for a fact they did send,naked pics of themselves to each other,i believe it might be the norm Link to post Share on other sites
Patna Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Nope, we didn't. We never mentioned about it before, but I'm not comfortable with the idea. Just have no idea if his wife will ever see it and use it to blackmail me in future... Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Just like in any other relationship, I guess it depends. I sent xMM one or two naughty pictures because he'd ask for it. But I felt uncomfortable with him asking me to do so. He got the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author movingon45 Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 Thanks for the responses. My ExMM told me that he and his wife do it, too and it's a good idea to spice things up. I would understand this for long distance relationships but I wonder if married people really do it. I guess yeah it depends on the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 No. Never. Not with H. Not with AP. But I have teens and preteens and always reminding them what a bad idea it is Images are forever, get forwarded, get doctored and edited etc. Have to practice what I preach. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 No, have never sent him a photo I wouldn't want my children to see and he never has sent me a photo he couldn't post publicly, either. We also don't email or text anything spicier than ILYs and XXOOs. Link to post Share on other sites
yogachic Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 My MM and I have exchanged sexy pictures but never nude pictures. This was something that my H and I used to do but he stopped appreciating them... Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I wouldn't say its part of an A, depends on both parties engaged in the A is more applicable. Being in a secondary relationship, most players engage in activities that they don't do with their spouses so taking/sending photos is just one way that feeds the fantasy. Reading through this forum, I've come across a lot of BS shocked to see photos of their WS engaged and photographed in compromising acts or poses or positions that the WS doesn't do with them (the BS). Nude/sexy pics becomes part of the naughty activities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Nope, never have. What is the point? I have all the images i need in my head from our in person encounters. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 If you don't want something personal to become public such as a nude photo or video of you, then don't put it on film, tape or digital forms. Husband wants to see you naked, then when he gets home, get naked. Want to run the risk of the neighborhood seeing you naked? take a picture and take the chance that he doesn't lose his cell phone. Passwords can be hacked. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden_love Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Sending photos is part of a relationship and trust when you form a close relationship with someone. I never did it with anyone else but MM says he still has them. We are LC so I really do not know why he would risk keeping them. I never thought about us being over. Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Honestly, I know some of you OW are young, but please. Entire weeks are devoted to this very topic in schools now. Police, teachers, parents, other law enforcement and child-rearing experts have been driving home this edict since we first had the ability to take and share cell phone pics. Do not send compromising photos of yourself to anyone under any circumstances. All the more so if you are in an R with someone willing to cheat on their H/W/SO. That same person isn't likely to think twice about sharing your photo with someone else -- hey, look at the hot piece of tail I'm getting on the side. Just assume spouses, children, friends, colleagues will go through your AP's phone (and yours too). I had an A so I've no real right to lecture, but sometimes you have to show a modicum of good judgment even within a mind-blowing display of bad judgment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
notserene Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Many men like to save these pictures so I wouldn't count on a promise to delete them. If you are in an affair, and you send these pictures, you should assume that your MM/W's spouse is going to see them eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 I don't know about in an affair, I wouldn't want to do that with any guy I was in a relationship with. I'd question his motives actually. Perverts online ask for naughty pics. I wouldn't be happy with a guy asking for them and I'd refuse. I think I'd also make a mental note that this relationship is on the way out. Link to post Share on other sites
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