mtnbiker3000 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Yeah, it's a pretty basic, transparent attempt at defending her own insecurities and self doubt. Lashing out at others to distract from the real issues, which we have given you our advice on, at your request...
Michael 93 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Woah... well that escalated quickly . I understand the comments of ensuring Kali's emotions are in check before she meets people, obviously it can hurt you much more if they aren't in check.. But I am extremely happy for her, I think that's an awesome way to meet somebody and the excitement of that must not of hurt .. Its just good to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and new memories can be made.. Hope it goes great! 2
Natsume21 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Kali, I don't see what you're doing is wrong. ( However, I also agree with the men that it would be logical(I repeat, LOGICAL) for you to be careful Tell me folks, when has emotion ever been logical? My point exactly. Trying to argue with Kali is like trying to tell grass it can't grow. The point of this for Kali is to let her learn from her blessing or mistake. Besides, the majority of girls in my experience have WAY more opportunities at dating than we do, so while we're logical about our choices Women go by what they feel, to differentiate between men. But then again, I could sound like a generalized misogynist.
sooshi Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I thought Kali was concerned only because she had set up a date with this guy for tonight and hadn't heard back from him. This would have caused some uncertainty as to whether he would show up, that's all. She wouldn't want to go there only to be stood up. 1
Summerrose2013 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 The thing I love about random dating is that whilst you are thinking about this new thing happening in your life, you are NOT thinking about the AHOLE who broke your heart. You go girlfriend!! It's all good dating experience! 1
Elle1975 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 But just to be clear, 3 dates in one week would be seen as impressive for a guy, in general. A woman having 3 dates is almost the norm. Nat, where did you get that? I can't get one. Granted, the foot traffic isn't terrific in my apartment. I'm not bad looking, not a super model, but ok. This is me (I'll remove it in 24h so sorry if the link is dead) and I don't get 3 dates a week lol 05/2014 Photo by Elle1974RI | Photobucket
Author KaliLove Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Haven't read all the replies (because I'm in a good mood and I want to stay that way!) but wanted to update. He eventually did write back, haha (PS..must..stop..drunk..posting...on LS...). We texted back and forth all weekend, and we're going out tonight. Also seeing the guy from Saturday at pub trivia night again tomorrow..he emailed to make sure I'd be there. HA! Playin the field yo!! Ugh..what to wear...girl problems..sigh. Elle..you're such a liar..you're TOTALLY a supermodel.
Author KaliLove Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 (edited) So, did you really want advice or not? Or just some folks to agree with you?? I just want people to agree with me. Duh. Seriously though..I'm happy. Yeah, I was extra happy when it actually happened (whiskey helped...) because it was a fun experience for me. Do I have any true expectations? No, of course not. It's fun to think about it though. And I'm certainly not going to let him see me act that way. The whole point of posting this crap on here is to get it out of my system so I don't show it to people in real life. Women in general HATE it when men tell them to calm down. It only pisses us off more. That's like asking a woman if she's PMSing just because she is expressing slightly more emotion than a man would. Emotion is in our nature. You can be stoic if you like but I'm going to let my freak flag fly. It's replies like yours and Pine's that make me think that men truly will never, ever understand women. Edited May 12, 2014 by KaliLove
Strength in Healing Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Women in general HATE it when men tell them to calm down. It only pisses us off more. This is actually backed up by psychology, she isn't making this up. One of the worst things to do in an argument is to tell a woman or man to calm down, as it invalidates the way they feel. The proper way to handle it is to let them express their emotion and not demean. 4
organizedchaos Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I just want people to agree with me. Duh. Seriously though..I'm happy. Yeah, I was extra happy when it actually happened (whiskey helped...) because it was a fun experience for me. Do I have any true expectations? No, of course not. It's fun to think about it though. And I'm certainly not going to let him see me act that way. The whole point of posting this crap on here is to get it out of my system so I don't show it to people in real life. Women in general HATE it when men tell them to calm down. It only pisses us off more. That's like asking a woman if she's PMSing just because she is expressing slightly more emotion than a man would. Emotion is in our nature. You can be stoic if you like but I'm going to let my freak flag fly. It's replies like yours and Pine's that make me think that men truly will never, ever understand women. Haha, my ex wife used to flip out whenever she was stressing and I'd say "Relax". That just made it 10x worse. 1
Author KaliLove Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 This is actually backed up by psychology, she isn't making this up. One of the worst things to do in an argument is to tell a woman or man to calm down, as it invalidates the way they feel. The proper way to handle it is to let them express their emotion and not demean. THANK YOU! So when are we going out SIH?
Elle1975 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Haven't read all the replies (because I'm in a good mood and I want to stay that way!) but wanted to update. He eventually did write back, haha (PS..must..stop..drunk..posting...on LS...). We texted back and forth all weekend, and we're going out tonight. Also seeing the guy from Saturday at pub trivia night again tomorrow..he emailed to make sure I'd be there. HA! Playin the field yo!! Ugh..what to wear...girl problems..sigh. Elle..you're such a liar..you're TOTALLY a supermodel. I think it's great. I'm jealous!! As for what to wear.. remember what you wear sends a message. I say sex but modest. No showing too much boobies or legs. Thanks for the compliment. I know I don't look like a mountain troll, but I am well aware that I am no Cindy Crawford either. What if you end up liking them both? lol
Author KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 I'd be date #4 this week wouldn't I? Number 3. Trivia night guy and restaurant guy are it. I don't think I can handle juggling more than 2 at a time, to be honest. And for everyone's info, nothing physical has or will happen for a LONG time with ANYONE I go out with.
Author KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 I think it's great. I'm jealous!! As for what to wear.. remember what you wear sends a message. I say sex but modest. No showing too much boobies or legs. Thanks for the compliment. I know I don't look like a mountain troll, but I am well aware that I am no Cindy Crawford either. What if you end up liking them both? lol Meh, I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. I'm not really worried about liking anyone right now. I'm just having fun. I'm enjoying not feeling like crap about my ex. That's the main thing. 6
Elle1975 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Meh, I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. I'm not really worried about liking anyone right now. I'm just having fun. I'm enjoying not feeling like crap about my ex. That's the main thing. Ops I meant SEXY not sex ugh
Author KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Would it be too obvious to wear a white dress? KIDDING!! I swear, that was just a joke..buzzkills, please don't attack me for that! 1
Author KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Hmm..apparently some people don't understand that about 90% of what I say in this thread is said in a happy, jokey, and sarcastically friendly manner (including my gratuitous use of the word buzzkill). I'm sorry if I hurt any feelings. Although I'll say it again..women really do take great offense at being told to calm down. It's a terrible thing to say to any woman. As SIH said, it makes us feel like our feelings are invalid. Dudes..take heed! 2
Author KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Ahem! Grumpy Guts was my chosen moniker... I stand by this... Really Pine...it's sweet that you're concerned about me, but I'm ok. No hard feelings? 2
flitzanu Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 so here's the fun kali, not the one i was arguing with i'm thinking everyone just mistook a girl acting giddy and ego-stroked about meeting a new boy for some deepdown advice-seeking. but hey, THIS IS A SERIOUS PLACE, QUIT BEING FICKLE AND CAREFREE, OMGGG. 2
Author KaliLove Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Thanks Flitz..see..I'm glad you get it! Oh my..the date went very, very well. We sat there for 2 hours just talking before we even ordered our food. I'll see the other guy tomorrow. Let's see, shall we? This is fun. 4
Elle1975 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Thanks Flitz..see..I'm glad you get it! Oh my..the date went very, very well. We sat there for 2 hours just talking before we even ordered our food. I'll see the other guy tomorrow. Let's see, shall we? This is fun. I'm happy for you. I want details though
Natsume21 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Rule no. 10 in the "Things guys must never do with a woman" Argue against her emotions.
Author KaliLove Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 He's kind of short. And by kind of I mean very. I'm pretty tall for a chick (5'9)..I'm 2 or 3 inches taller than he is. I've only ever dated men over 6' before. I'm not entirely sure I can deal with that...I haven't decided yet. I don't want to feel like the Jolly Green Giant. Oh well..going to bar trivia night and seeing the other dude tonight (he is over 6'..and he's a nerd..I love me some nerds!). We shall see! And the saga continues, ha!
Elle1975 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Rule no. 10 in the "Things guys must never do with a woman" Argue against her emotions. Lol.. I'd be curious to know the other ones :-) 1
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