Here's why people are amazing

[flitzanu]

like 5'10"? i have a friend that's like 5'7" and a girl told him he would have to stand on a stepstool to kiss her. hahah. he felt a little shamed.

[KaliLove]

Would you date a girl who was taller than you?

 

Would any of the guys here do that? Ladies..would you date a shorter dude?

[flitzanu]

Would you date a girl who was taller than you?

 

Would any of the guys here do that? Ladies..would you date a shorter dude?

 

i have dated a girl at least as tall as me, and in heels was taller. i don't have an easily bruised ego about height though, so i don't find it intimidating. i actually prefer little short girls or taller girls moreso than i do "average height". i do think there's a bit of societal phobia with those things though, like if you being 5'9" were dating Tom Cruise at 5'4", it could make you feel awkward and maybe like, less of the woman of the relationship? that's one of those throwbacks to men having to protect women, blahblah...and although outdated and misogynist, it's ingrained in a lot of our behavior that the "man" needs to be all burly and able to keep his "woman" safe. i'm not a fan of gender roles like that, which means a lot of girls don't find attractive because deep down they WANT that...and i'm clearly NOT a big burly man. so setting aside dumb societal gender roles and such, if you are into a guy or girl, height should be the last superficial thing to worry about.

 

besides, if anyone tries to make you feel bad about it, it means those girls are shorter than you...and YOU...are supermodel height (and they're not).

 

[Elle1975]

Would you date a girl who was taller than you?

 

Would any of the guys here do that? Ladies..would you date a shorter dude?

 

We had this conversation, I reflected on it and actually I think it's about the build of the guy. I mean if the guy is 130 pounds wet, it would be weird for me. Same for the guy I suppose. I'd feel obese maybe. Idk.

[flitzanu]

We had this conversation, I reflected on it and actually I think it's about the build of the guy. I mean if the guy is 130 pounds wet, it would be weird for me. Same for the guy I suppose. I'd feel obese maybe. Idk.

 

shhhh. some of us are built to be thin!

[KaliLove]

Ok..I feel better now. Thanks Flitz and Elle. Plus he's really cute and REALLY sweet. I'm seeing him again on Friday.

 

Also, he makes up for it in attitude. I LOVE that he ordered for me at the restaurant. I like a take charge kind of a guy.

Edited May 15, 2014 by KaliLove

[Natsume21]

Why does long time mean something different for you than it does for me? I'm not a sl*t.

 

PS. I don't like chocolate..so that rule doesn't apply to me either way.

 

You guys DO realize that the 9 rules I made up were total bs, right?

 

I was joking.

[Natsume21]

Kali, I speak my mind, and the way a woman handles an infatuation and the way a man handles it are different in general

 

You don't seem any way careful at all.

 

But it doesn't matter. Have fun, enjoy yourself.

 

You're just not going to get a lot of support from guys who are 1. Slightly bitter. 2. Can't get dates. 3. Can't get dates.

[flitzanu]

Kali, I speak my mind, and the way a woman handles an infatuation and the way a man handles it are different in general

 

You don't seem any way careful at all.

 

But it doesn't matter. Have fun, enjoy yourself.

 

You're just not going to get a lot of support from guys who are 1. Slightly bitter. 2. Can't get dates. 3. Can't get dates.

 

and #4. can't get dates.

 

i think she's just being carefree and playful. she didn't say she's going to marry the guy or anything.

[KaliLove]

Kali, I speak my mind, and the way a woman handles an infatuation and the way a man handles it are different in general

 

You don't seem any way careful at all.

 

But it doesn't matter. Have fun, enjoy yourself.

 

You're just not going to get a lot of support from guys who are 1. Slightly bitter. 2. Can't get dates. 3. Can't get dates.

 

First of all..definitely not infatuated. I've only met the guy once for goodness sake! I'm not a teenager.

 

Second, I am incredibly careful. Much more careful than most other people you know. Having spent my childhood taking care of my sick mother, I have been an adult since the age of 6. I know how to take care of myself. Just because I like to joke around and have fun on here does not mean I'm a wh*re and I don't appreciate the insinuation.

 

Didn't you say you were dating someone? So..how can you say you can't get dates?

 

You sound more than slightly bitter. You sound extremely bitter..and it's rude to try to make other people feel bad just because you feel bad. Have you considered therapy?

 

I'm trying really hard not to be annoyed with you but it's difficult right now...

[mummyjonno]

First of all..definitely not infatuated. I've only met the guy once for goodness sake! I'm not a teenager.

 

Second, I am incredibly careful. Much more careful than most other people you know. Having spent my childhood taking care of my sick mother, I have been an adult since the age of 6. I know how to take care of myself. Just because I like to joke around and have fun on here does not mean I'm a wh*re and I don't appreciate the insinuation.

 

Didn't you say you were dating someone? So..how can you say you can't get dates?

 

You sound more than slightly bitter. You sound extremely bitter..and it's rude to try to make other people feel bad just because you feel bad. Have you considered therapy?

 

I'm trying really hard not to be annoyed with you but it's difficult right now...

 

 

 

KALI!!! Maaaaaan why am I only just seeing this, I think I've been away from

This section too long!!

 

How did the date with take away dude go? I'm nosy.

 

I for one think this is awesome, everyone deserves a little sunshine so quit trying to piss on her parade!!

[Natsume21]

First of all..definitely not infatuated. I've only met the guy once for goodness sake! I'm not a teenager.

 

Second, I am incredibly careful. Much more careful than most other people you know. Having spent my childhood taking care of my sick mother, I have been an adult since the age of 6. I know how to take care of myself. Just because I like to joke around and have fun on here does not mean I'm a wh*re and I don't appreciate the insinuation.

 

Didn't you say you were dating someone? So..how can you say you can't get dates?

 

You sound more than slightly bitter. You sound extremely bitter..and it's rude to try to make other people feel bad just because you feel bad. Have you considered therapy?

 

I'm trying really hard not to be annoyed with you but it's difficult right now...

 

 

The only reason you say that is because you are riding high on an emotional cloud and I'm staying logical.

 

What you're not understanding is that there is nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying that's what you're doing from my viewpoint. You assume that because you're carefree that I think you're an idiot. You are not.

 

No word which I said suggested I was pulling against you.

 

Also, in case anyone didn't know, I'm not taking the person I'm seeing seriously, and I have good reason to do so: she admitted to me during a conversation that she was involved in an affair with a married man.

 

She and I are also seeing other people. I don't think this is going to be long.

 

I'm not bitter, in my opinion. However, if I was, I'd consider it a good thing.

 

I'd suggest, however, because of the forum you're on, that you won't get a lot of support from men. Don't automatically assume that I don't support you. Everyone is free to live their life as they choose.

 

You just want people on here, the majority of them males who have been, in fact, scorned by women riding on emotional highs, to see things your way.

 

And I'm being honest, that's a tall order.

 

You don't need our approval for this thing. Just enjoy life. You're probably in your 20s and 30s. This is the PERFECT opportunity for you to have fun and see what's out there. No one can stay brokenheaerted forever.

 

In my case though, I am not fully trusting any chick. This chick and I are not official. Frankly, I think we mostly see each other as some nice fun on the side, but she seems REALLY invested in me considering she's making more of an effort.

 

And before you say "Well that's cruel." I wanna rebuttle with this.

 

Being nice and respected gets a lot of guys on here burned. We aren't trying to do the "right" thing when it comes to dating and relationships...

 

We're trying to do the thing that WORKS.

 

And apparently, what works is not caring as much as the other person does.

 

Kali, have your fun. That's what matters. We can all agree that we want the same thing: Happiness.

 

 

You can choose to dislike me for that notion if you please--Natsume21.

[Natsume21]

Posts like these are proof of the MASSIVE difference in the views of dating between men and women in general.

 

Notice how most of the posters who are fully sticking up for Kali and supporting what she's going through are women, correct? They agree with her viewpoints and her methods of going by it.

 

Meanwhile, the men see things differently.

 

Here are some general truths.

 

 

1. Women hold most of the power in mate selection, which is why it's much easier for them to bounce to another person: they don't have to put in the work. It's a well known statement that those who do not fear the punishment of their decisions tend to not give a damn about moral codes. Case in point: if a guy dumps a girl, he is more likely to end up coming back to his ex and begging for her back. When's the last time you really heard of a woman dumping a man and her coming back to him? There's a reason for that: she doesn't really feel the reprecussions of her actions because, hey, she can go to the next guy waiting in the wings, or the next guy, or the next guy. Young girls who are SWARMED because they are beautiful are the ones that generally don't give a damn about the guys they leave because there's no consequence. And even if they get burned by a string of bad boys, most of them usually continue said cycle hoping for a change in said bad boys attitude.

 

2. Women expect most men to see things their way. Ironically, this makes said women lose respect for men for catering to their whims on a constant basis. It's a constant attraction killer.

 

3. Whether or not men may admit it, a lot of their own personal validation comes from the fact they can get either dates or laid. Many of them, especially the guys on here who had one parent that was the mom, were made to believe that being a total gentleman and a decent guy for a lady was the key to finding women. Many of them omit two things: 1. That only applies to finding a decent woman. 2. Decent women in general are either hard to find or barely exist, leading those who were dumped out of the blue to start growing resentment due to lack of knowledge.

 

You can disagree with me all you want, Kali, as that's your opinion, but I wouldn't say these things if I didn't have experience or observed them.

 

While we don't want to admit it, dating is essentially a game of chance and skill. So many factors play into it when we put our cards in, which is why certain people of certain circumstances have a better shot. All the rest can do is increase their chances, if only by a little.

 

To do that, we must know our roles and our targets.

 

The goal is to find "love" but the true goal is to establish attraction. That is the essence of love and relationships.

 

Why? Cause without attraction, guys around the world are going to keep getting left.

 

And that's just the way it is.

 

That's why it's important for men to establish themselves as people. That way, whenever they get devastated, they still can pick themselves off the ground.

 

Call me an *******, but despite what many say, most women don't suffer from a lack of options, but rather, a lack of options as to what they want.

 

^So sorry if I don't feel a complete sense of sympathy over that. Women generally have girlfriends for this stuff. We men have to face it mostly alone.

 

And that's just the way I see things--Natsume21.

[mummyjonno]

Posts like these are proof of the MASSIVE difference in the views of dating between men and women in general.

 

Notice how most of the posters who are fully sticking up for Kali and supporting what she's going through are women, correct? They agree with her viewpoints and her methods of going by it.

 

Meanwhile, the men see things differently.

 

Here are some general truths.

 

 

1. Women hold most of the power in mate selection, which is why it's much easier for them to bounce to another person: they don't have to put in the work. It's a well known statement that those who do not fear the punishment of their decisions tend to not give a damn about moral codes. Case in point: if a guy dumps a girl, he is more likely to end up coming back to his ex and begging for her back. When's the last time you really heard of a woman dumping a man and her coming back to him? There's a reason for that: she doesn't really feel the reprecussions of her actions because, hey, she can go to the next guy waiting in the wings, or the next guy, or the next guy. Young girls who are SWARMED because they are beautiful are the ones that generally don't give a damn about the guys they leave because there's no consequence. And even if they get burned by a string of bad boys, most of them usually continue said cycle hoping for a change in said bad boys attitude.

 

2. Women expect most men to see things their way. Ironically, this makes said women lose respect for men for catering to their whims on a constant basis. It's a constant attraction killer.

 

3. Whether or not men may admit it, a lot of their own personal validation comes from the fact they can get either dates or laid. Many of them, especially the guys on here who had one parent that was the mom, were made to believe that being a total gentleman and a decent guy for a lady was the key to finding women. Many of them omit two things: 1. That only applies to finding a decent woman. 2. Decent women in general are either hard to find or barely exist, leading those who were dumped out of the blue to start growing resentment due to lack of knowledge.

 

You can disagree with me all you want, Kali, as that's your opinion, but I wouldn't say these things if I didn't have experience or observed them.

 

While we don't want to admit it, dating is essentially a game of chance and skill. So many factors play into it when we put our cards in, which is why certain people of certain circumstances have a better shot. All the rest can do is increase their chances, if only by a little.

 

To do that, we must know our roles and our targets.

 

The goal is to find "love" but the true goal is to establish attraction. That is the essence of love and relationships.

 

Why? Cause without attraction, guys around the world are going to keep getting left.

 

And that's just the way it is.

 

That's why it's important for men to establish themselves as people. That way, whenever they get devastated, they still can pick themselves off the ground.

 

Call me an *******, but despite what many say, most women don't suffer from a lack of options, but rather, a lack of options as to what they want.

 

^So sorry if I don't feel a complete sense of sympathy over that. Women generally have girlfriends for this stuff. We men have to face it mostly alone.

 

And that's just the way I see things--Natsume21.

 

 

I'll be quite frank, mainly because that's just my style.

 

I read the first paragraph of what you wrote and ignored the rest (I like being awake)

 

You sir are over analysing, quit being a fart and let the girl have her fun. It's not you she's dating so what do you care what she does and doesn't do.

 

Quit zapping the pleasure out and live a little! You sound like you could use some of that yourself.

[Natsume21]

I'll be quite frank, mainly because that's just my style.

 

I read the first paragraph of what you wrote and ignored the rest (I like being awake)

 

You sir are over analysing, quit being a fart and let the girl have her fun. It's not you she's dating so what do you care what she does and doesn't do.

 

Quit zapping the pleasure out and live a little! You sound like you could use some of that yourself.

 

I'm a guy on the internet. I can't control how she lives.

 

Just because I see things differently doesn't mean I want the girl not to have fun.

 

Question, are you female?

[Haydn]

I don`t buy any of that `treat a woman badly` and she will want you more. I have had ex`s come back to me. I certainly don`t believe women move on without feeling. All the women i have known with the exception of one who was clearly bonkers; i have been myself with them and not created a `fake impression` of myself that i am some alpha male.

 

Have fun Kali.

[Natsume21]

I don`t buy any of that `treat a woman badly` and she will want you more. I have had ex`s come back to me. I certainly don`t believe women move on without feeling. All the women i have known with the exception of one who was clearly bonkers; i have been myself with them and not created a `fake impression` of myself that i am some alpha male.

 

Have fun Kali.

 

^I agree. It's terrible to have to pretend.

 

Gets old after a while.

[KaliLove]

The only reason you say that is because you are riding high on an emotional cloud and I'm staying logical.

 

What you're not understanding is that there is nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying that's what you're doing from my viewpoint. You assume that because you're carefree that I think you're an idiot. You are not.

 

No word which I said suggested I was pulling against you.

 

Also, in case anyone didn't know, I'm not taking the person I'm seeing seriously, and I have good reason to do so: she admitted to me during a conversation that she was involved in an affair with a married man.

 

She and I are also seeing other people. I don't think this is going to be long.

 

I'm not bitter, in my opinion. However, if I was, I'd consider it a good thing.

 

I'd suggest, however, because of the forum you're on, that you won't get a lot of support from men. Don't automatically assume that I don't support you. Everyone is free to live their life as they choose.

 

You just want people on here, the majority of them males who have been, in fact, scorned by women riding on emotional highs, to see things your way.

 

And I'm being honest, that's a tall order.

 

You don't need our approval for this thing. Just enjoy life. You're probably in your 20s and 30s. This is the PERFECT opportunity for you to have fun and see what's out there. No one can stay brokenheaerted forever.

 

In my case though, I am not fully trusting any chick. This chick and I are not official. Frankly, I think we mostly see each other as some nice fun on the side, but she seems REALLY invested in me considering she's making more of an effort.

 

And before you say "Well that's cruel." I wanna rebuttle with this.

 

Being nice and respected gets a lot of guys on here burned. We aren't trying to do the "right" thing when it comes to dating and relationships...

 

We're trying to do the thing that WORKS.

 

And apparently, what works is not caring as much as the other person does.

 

Kali, have your fun. That's what matters. We can all agree that we want the same thing: Happiness.

 

 

You can choose to dislike me for that notion if you please--Natsume21.

 

Your age is showing young man. You have a lot to learn about life and about women.

 

Also, your analytical skills leave much to be desired. You know absolutely nothing about me and you're taking a LOT of liberties in your assumptions.

[Strength in Healing]

1. Women hold most of the power in mate selection, which is why it's much easier for them to bounce to another person

 

 

I, personally, liken myself to a male duck. They're the very attractive ones out of the two genders.

[Natsume21]

Your age is showing young man. You have a lot to learn about life and about women.

 

Also, your analytical skills leave much to be desired. You know absolutely nothing about me and you're taking a LOT of liberties in your assumptions.

 

Well, of course I got a lot to learn.

 

I'm not arming myself for the mature women I come across, Kali, if you happen to be one of them.

 

I am preparing myself for the tons of extreme immature ones I'm going to come across. At my age, that's bound to happen.

 

Maybe when I'm 30 I won't see the world the way I do now. Regardless, I'm not your enemy or anything. I just see things differently. You deserve to be happy. I just choose not to trust a woman. Kinda have to, considering I nearly died trusting one myself.

[KaliLove]

Well, of course I got a lot to learn.

 

I'm not arming myself for the mature women I come across, Kali, if you happen to be one of them.

 

I am preparing myself for the tons of extreme immature ones I'm going to come across. At my age, that's bound to happen.

 

Maybe when I'm 30 I won't see the world the way I do now. Regardless, I'm not your enemy or anything. I just see things differently. You deserve to be happy. I just choose not to trust a woman. Kinda have to, considering I nearly died trusting one myself.

 

Your opinions on my situation are based on assumptions you are making about me personally, which are not true.

 

I am 32. I'm not some stupid kid who jumps into things without thinking. I know what I'm doing.

[Natsume21]

Your opinions on my situation are based on assumptions you are making about me personally, which are not true.

 

I am 32. I'm not some stupid kid who jumps into things without thinking. I know what I'm doing.

 

 

I know a 32 year old woman who dates nothing but muscled guys, and she's nearly 300 lbs. What's your point? Also, she has terrible taste in men.

 

You took me not agreeing with you as some kind of attack. Calm down, not everyone is going to agree with you. Do I think you're acting carefree? Yes. Is that a bad thing? No, frankly you deserve it.

 

I'm just calling it like I see it.

 

It's a difference in opinion.

[tlegend]

So....I'm happy to hear your dates are going well.

 

Hope your future dates go just as well, either with this guy or some other guy.

[mtnbiker3000]

Nats - There are some general truths to your observations. However, it's really about carefully identifying your wants and needs and putting them before anyone else's. There is a growing number of men, especially in the US, who have simply not figured out how to do this for many, many reasons. I suggest a book called "No More. Mr. Nice Guy". It goes into these ideas much more deeply.

 

It's not about being a dick or bad boy or alpha male or any of that. It's simply about taking care of yourself first. Sounds simple, but again, there are many men out there (myself included) who have been taught and conditioned, for years and years, to accommodate others first, especially women. That this will lead to their own happiness. Again, the reasons behind this are many, for example, single parent households, urbanization, War, female dominated elementary school teachers (6 of 7 were women for me), etc... Too much to go into on this forum, but IMO, it is very logical and makes quite a bit of sense.

 

It's actually an eye opening school of thought and can be of benefit for both men and women to understand more clearly. It's a short book, check it out

 

Anywho, just some food for thought...

Edited May 15, 2014 by mtnbiker3000

[Natsume21]

Nats - There are some general truths to your observations. However, it's really about carefully identifying your wants and needs and putting them before anyone else's. There is a growing number of men, especially in the US, who have simply not figured out how to do this for many, many reasons. I suggest a book called "No More. Mr. Nice Guy". It goes into these ideas much more deeply.

 

It's not about being a dick or bad boy or alpha male or any of that. It's simply about taking care of yourself first. Sounds simple, but again, there are many men out there (myself included) who have been taught and conditioned, for years and years, to accommodate others first, especially women. That this will lead to their own happiness. Again, the reasons behind this are many, for example, single parent households, urbanization, War, female dominated elementary school teachers (6 of 7 were women for me), etc... Too much to go into on this forum, but IMO, it is very logical and makes quite a bit of sense.

 

It's actually an eye opening school of thought and can be of benefit for both men and women to understand more clearly. It's a short book, check it out

 

Anywho, just some food for thought...

 

I'll check it out!