soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Nothing's wrong with that. In fact, we should take lessons from her. Many things WRONG about players. If you're an insensitive, manipulative, dirt-bag, then, I suppose you'll learn something useful. Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) Many things WRONG about players. If you're an insensitive, manipulative, dirt-bag, then, I suppose you'll learn something useful. Yet they seem successful with women. Men find it hard to argue with something that works when it comes to getting women.--Natsume21 Edited May 21, 2014 by Natsume21 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Many things WRONG about players. If you're an insensitive, manipulative, dirt-bag, then, I suppose you'll learn something useful. What is your problem? I'm not a dirt bag, nor am I manipulating anyone into anything. Is there a limit to how many people I'm allowed to meet and talk to and go on dates with? Why do you get to decide what that limit is? It's not like I'm making anyone fall in love with me and then dumping them. I'm looking for someone I click with, and without any luck so far. I also haven't slept with anyone since my ex and I have no plans to any time soon. I did kiss the short guy but I didn't enjoy it, and I have already told him I'm not interested. He took it very well. I am NOT a player. It's called being single and dating. Once I find someone I like, I stick with them and try to build a relationship with them, and I stop meeting other people. I would expect the same from the guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 I started this thread to try to show people that it's possible to be happy after a break up, and that it's possible to meet new people..but if everything I do is going to be criticized and taken the wrong way, and if I'm going to be called a player and a dirt-bag just because I'm putting myself out there and dating, then I'm out. I'll stop talking about it now. This is ridiculous. Nobody here wants anyone else to be happy or enjoying themselves. I guess misery really does love company. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I started this thread to try to show people that it's possible to be happy after a break up, and that it's possible to meet new people..but if everything I do is going to be criticized and taken the wrong way, and if I'm going to be called a player and a dirt-bag just because I'm putting myself out there and dating, then I'm out. I'll stop talking about it now. This is ridiculous. Nobody here wants anyone else to be happy or enjoying themselves. I guess misery really does love company. The bitterness, often disguised as concern, runs deep in these forums. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I simply asked a legit question... I'm dating a lot too, mostly cause I'm bored as shyte... No friends or family or job in a new town... Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 The bitterness, often disguised as concern, runs deep in these forums. I'm on your side, Kali. But I have to say, coming from a guy who was bitter at all couples at one point(and I still got those issues at times, it's only natural) A breakup forum was a bad place to look for support. Try the "Dating" forum. I'm glad you're finally moving on. Let's hope I can do the same and find someone as well. Btw, the "player" bit was just kinda me poking fun at you. "The oppressed will always have it out for the oppressors, but they themselves may become oppressors one day too" Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 I know Nat..that wasn't directed at you..it was directed at the jerk who told me that I'm a manipulative dirtbag because I'm putting myself out there and meeting new people. I'm not a player..I've just been lucky lately. And I'm keeping things firmly casual until I meet someone I want to date for real. Mtnbiker, I have you on ignore, and I have for a while now. You've made it very clear how you feel about me and you are entitled to your opinion..but that doesn't mean I have to hear about it. I wish you the best. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I started this thread to try to show people that it's possible to be happy after a break up, and that it's possible to meet new people..but if everything I do is going to be criticized and taken the wrong way, and if I'm going to be called a player and a dirt-bag just because I'm putting myself out there and dating, then I'm out. I'll stop talking about it now. This is ridiculous. Nobody here wants anyone else to be happy or enjoying themselves. I guess misery really does love company. Well, if it counts for anything, I'm happy for you and the steps you are taking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Well, if it counts for anything, I'm happy for you and the steps you are taking. Thanks Lauri, of course it counts! I've been keeping up with your thread and it seems like you're doing very well in your recovery. Pretty soon you'll be joining me in the dating world! By the way, I love your name. It reminds me of Little Women... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 ..I've just been lucky lately. How I envy this! Loneliness is a very hard drink to finish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 How I envy this! Loneliness is a very hard drink to finish. Stop being a butthead and you won't be lonely anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 What is your problem? I'm not a dirt bag, nor am I manipulating anyone into anything. Is there a limit to how many people I'm allowed to meet and talk to and go on dates with? Why do you get to decide what that limit is? It's not like I'm making anyone fall in love with me and then dumping them. I'm looking for someone I click with, and without any luck so far. I also haven't slept with anyone since my ex and I have no plans to any time soon. I did kiss the short guy but I didn't enjoy it, and I have already told him I'm not interested. He took it very well. I am NOT a player. It's called being single and dating. Once I find someone I like, I stick with them and try to build a relationship with them, and I stop meeting other people. I would expect the same from the guy. Kali, we wish you good luck. But you're not gonna get a lot of support here from bitter guys. Remember, they are bitter because they can't get dates. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 kali, i want you to go out AND DESTROY as your namesake implies. but then, afterward, love them. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Thanks Lauri, of course it counts! I've been keeping up with your thread and it seems like you're doing very well in your recovery. Pretty soon you'll be joining me in the dating world! By the way, I love your name. It reminds me of Little Women... Thank you so much !! Now THAT means a lot. My problem is that I always look for that "marriage" material type of girl to date...and that is really hard to find. I think I gotta just start having a little bit more fun instead! And in regards to the name...let's leave that for another time. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 kali, i want you to go out AND DESTROY as your namesake implies. but then, afterward, love them. Destroy what? Haha I don't want to destroy anyone..I'm just looking for love like everyone else. I want to have a family. Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I'm not big on the marriage scene these days. Too much divorce. Also im stuck being broke in a small town and im contemplating leaving it all behind and just becoming an adventurer. So Marriage...and kids, doesn't seem likely. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Destroy what? Haha I don't want to destroy anyone..I'm just looking for love like everyone else. I want to have a family. wait, you know what your name means, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 It means that the name I wanted was taken..and that I live in California and I'm looking for love. What else? Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) Mtnbiker, I have you on ignore, and I have for a while now. You've made it very clear how you feel about me and you are entitled to your opinion..but that doesn't mean I have to hear about it. I wish you the best. Actually, I feel nothing personal towards you. Whatever you are doing is no matter to me. And, if you've read my threads, you'd realize I'm all about growing, learning and healing. I went through the wringer pretty bad myself. Bitter?? Maybe... Who knows?? I just encourage others to really think and work through their own issues before moving into a new RS. It's great that people can jump back on the horse and get names, numbers and whatever else. I just think there is a lot more to learn and discover about ourselves before bringing other people into our mix after a breakup. To me, a breakup is an opportunity to really dig deep into our own personalities. Strengths and weaknesses. And just barreling over that seems like a lost opportunity. Not saying that is what you are doing!! Maybe I'm partial as my BU was severe and extremely excruciating. But it created a perfect chance for reflection, growth and rebuilding. And that is what I feel is the most important part of the whole experience... Edited May 22, 2014 by mtnbiker3000 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Actually, I feel nothing personal towards you. Whatever you are doing is no matter to me. And, if you've read my threads, you'd realize I'm all about growing, learning and healing. I went through the wringer pretty bad myself. Bitter?? Maybe... Who knows?? I just encourage others to really think and work through their own issues before moving into a new RS. It's great that people can jump back on the horse and get names, numbers and whatever else. I just think there is a lot more to learn and discover about ourselves before bringing other people into our mix after a breakup. To me, a breakup is an opportunity to really dig deep into our own personalities. Strengths and weaknesses. And just barreling over that seems like a lost opportunity. Not saying that is what you are doing!! Maybe I'm partial as my BU was severe and extremely excruciating. But it created a perfect chance for reflection, growth and rebuilding. And that is what I feel is the most important part of the whole experience... Truth of the matter is, if we all had the OPPORTUNITY, we'd jump straight into another relationship.... Cause we're creatures who don't want to prolong any pain we have. It's instinctual Kali is just doing what comes natural to her emotions right now. But for women with options, that's pretty easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 Truth of the matter is, if we all had the OPPORTUNITY, we'd jump straight into another relationship.... Cause we're creatures who don't want to prolong any pain we have. It's instinctual Kali is just doing what comes natural to her emotions right now. But for women with options, that's pretty easy. I have no desire to get back together with my ex, I'm not in love with him anymore. I want kids and he doesn't (and he's too crazy to be anyone's father anyway)..there's not a snowballs chance in hell that I'd ever get back together with him even if he proposed to me tomorrow. Besides, we broke up so many times that I was practically over it before it even happened this last time. I feel better now than I did with him for the past year. I'm doing what any normal single woman does. I'm dating. But no, dating isn't easy for anyone Nat. Options or not. If I was looking for sex, sure..that's easy. But I'm not. I'm looking for an emotional connection. I'm looking for marriage and father material. I'm not jumping into a relationship with the next guy I meet just for the hell of it. I wouldn't do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) I have no desire to get back together with my ex, I'm not in love with him anymore. I want kids and he doesn't (and he's too crazy to be anyone's father anyway)..there's not a snowballs chance in hell that I'd ever get back together with him even if he proposed to me tomorrow. Besides, we broke up so many times that I was practically over it before it even happened this last time. I feel better now than I did with him for the past year. I'm doing what any normal single woman does. I'm dating. But no, dating isn't easy for anyone Nat. Options or not. If I was looking for sex, sure..that's easy. But I'm not. I'm looking for an emotional connection. I'm looking for marriage and father material. I'm not jumping into a relationship with the next guy I meet just for the hell of it. I wouldn't do that. Then I'm gonna lay some truth on you. That's gonna be hard, cause most men(well in a sense, all) men are looking for sex. Like me, for example, if traditional society had it's way, I'm not marriage material. But im also 23 so I was never really marriage material to begin with. However, I know that and thus, do not seek a relationship. That is kinda the primary reason most of us befriend women And usually, when they get, for lack of a better term "friendzoned" they grow increasingly bitter. Edited May 22, 2014 by Natsume21 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Then I'm gonna lay some truth on you. That's gonna be hard, cause most men(well in a sense, all) men are looking for sex. Like me, for example, if traditional society had it's way, I'm not marriage material. But im also 23 so I was never really marriage material to begin with. However, I know that and thus, do not seek a relationship. That is kinda the primary reason most of us befriend women And usually, when they get, for lack of a better term "friendzoned" they grow increasingly bitter. Alright, I'm confused now by what you just said and how it relates to what she just said. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliLove Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) Then I'm gonna lay some truth on you. That's gonna be hard, cause most men(well in a sense, all) men are looking for sex. Like me, for example, if traditional society had it's way, I'm not marriage material. But im also 23 so I was never really marriage material to begin with. However, I know that and thus, do not seek a relationship. That is kinda the primary reason most of us befriend women And usually, when they get, for lack of a better term "friendzoned" they grow increasingly bitter. You're right..23 year old men are mostly just looking for sex. Lucky for me I'm not dating 23 year men. Also lucky for me, I'm not looking for friends when I date. When I'm interested in pursuing a relationship with a man, of course I'll have sex with him..women like sex too you know. But I'm not going to sleep around while I look. That's disgusting. If everybody thought the way you did, nobody would ever be in a relationship or get married..what you're saying makes no sense. Edited May 22, 2014 by KaliLove 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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