Sunday Girl Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Well after almost 6 month of separation, endless promises and healng heartbrake it seems I have to accept "its over". I dont want it to be, but i cant carry on trying with someone who clearly cannot be bothered with me or my needs. So here I am AGAIN with two children this time and a single mother. Yes I have my own house, job and car..(which had before we met 7 years ago)....I just really wanted my happy ever after, I dont want to start all over again...... Any advice on how to let your ex go, make the most of your life without getting bitter and wanting revenge etc? Everything he texts me at the moment is windng me up and I want to be spiteful....but that is not me and I hate feeling that way. I want to let him go to live the life he wants.......but I just feel so angry and resentful. Its only been two days.....any advice on how to retain your dignity and not turn into a bitter mess? Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 (edited) Well after almost 6 month of separation, endless promises and healng heartbrake it seems I have to accept "its over". I dont want it to be, but i cant carry on trying with someone who clearly cannot be bothered with me or my needs. So here I am AGAIN with two children this time and a single mother. Yes I have my own house, job and car..(which had before we met 7 years ago)....I just really wanted my happy ever after, I dont want to start all over again...... Any advice on how to let your ex go, make the most of your life without getting bitter and wanting revenge etc? Everything he texts me at the moment is windng me up and I want to be spiteful....but that is not me and I hate feeling that way. I want to let him go to live the life he wants.......but I just feel so angry and resentful. Its only been two days.....any advice on how to retain your dignity and not turn into a bitter mess? Have you ever bothered with him or his needs? Just asking. I don't know you from Eve. As for your question about how to not become a bitter mess, you need to pray and forgive him--even if he is the wrong one. Resentment is the natural, normal, predictable path everyone takes after a divorce. For this reason, you won't be able to defeat it on your own. We cannot defeat what is natural. This is why you must pray and allow Jesus to help you do what is not natural. Edited May 10, 2014 by M30USA Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunday Girl Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 I felt I did try my best to fulfil his needs, and he doesnt say otherwise. He just doesnt want the reality of family life, he wants to be out with his friends living the high life. Im sure he has a different opinion. Thank you for your prayers, Im not religious but I do hope a miracle comes along and helps me out of how Im feeling x Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I read some of your past posts and the way he has treated you so poorly I say you are well rid of him. He doesn't seem like he's going to change and he's right you do deserve someone better. I've found that prayer helps me when nothing else does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
yorkie Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 tbh you just need time after a while the hurt and anger does subside a bit im 8 months and a half nearly 9 months but im lucky i have found someone else who is caring loving and a dam good woman. i know just wish the best for my ex, she lost what most woman would never lose and i just dont mean myself but she lost her kids as well and i pitty her for that tbh. saying that im just about to write a post on break ups forum which might be a good read for you so keep an eye out but tbh. time does heal you never forget though and even sometimes still hope but you do let go in the end and thats when i beleive they come back so i keep reading as they can tell you dont want or pine for them anymore. not trying to give you hope there just the facts what most people have said on here. just concentrate on you thats the best advice i can give you and after a while once you dont think of them you lose interest in being angry Link to post Share on other sites
3blindmice Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 (edited) If you like harp music, this one has calming effects. Also it's like the harp songs played in the bible. What David played to soothe his king Saulman ? (can't spell the king's name). ? Relaxing Harp Amazing Healing Christian Music! Celtic HQ MUST LISTEN 40 MIN Sound Therapy ? - YouTube ETA. This will help you to have a calm and clear outlook to think things through. I listen to it a lot and it helps me to calmly think about the things going on in my life and make more sound decisions. Edited May 10, 2014 by 3blindmice Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunday Girl Posted May 11, 2014 Author Share Posted May 11, 2014 Thank you so much for your kind words everyone. I suppose no one wants to end up divorced, many people, even his friends say I do deserve to be treated better. I suppose I just need to get some self respect back. Ive bought some self help books which I plan to read over the next few weeks. These forums are a lifeline, thank you so much.xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 One thing that will help will be to go as low contact as possible--only talk to the ex when it's absolutely necessary and it concerns the kids. This will help you to start building a life that doesn't include him. Also, it sounds like you're unhappy with not just him but your situation in life (having to start over again). I know it seems unfair right now and I don't know your entire situation, but it may be why you're so resentful. You imagined a "perfect" life and it didn't work out. Think about the ways your married life with him wasn't perfect. It might be helpful to deal with this in counseling. Your kids need you to be strong for them. Even if you don't feel like it right now, try to push away any negative feelings and enjoy time with your children. Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Whatever you do please don't be the nasty ex wife who stalks her ex's gf/new wife. And don't use your children as weapons against your ex husband. Women who behave in mannerisms such as I have listed as above are despicable in the court of law and others' eyes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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