gaius Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Can you reiterate your posts? Both make no sense. Grumps wasn't replying to you . They make plenty of sense Candy. Read them again a few times if you need to. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I'm a woman, and I've been turned down before because the guy had a conscience. I had crazy chemistry with an acquaintance in my social circle, it was one of those situations when we were around one another- you could cut the tension with a knife. I thought he was too shy to ask me out, so I asked him. Turned out him and his wife were thinking about reconciling and he didn't want to complicate things. I had nothing but respect for both his restraint and honesty. I remember when you posted about that. That was the just the excuse he gave you. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I remember when you posted about that. That was the just the excuse he gave you. I honestly don't think so, but who knows. He was going through a divorce when I met him, and they did get back together. He told me himself I wasn't misreading the signs- but maybe it was just an excuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi jay, are you saying you think the answers here are disproportionate to what you have observed in your social circles? I can see that. I think it goes back to what we were discussing about how women behave where you are from seemed different than to my son? I think sometimes it is about whom you are around or where you are in your life. I'm a little older than you so I think people my age are a bit more settled. Regardless, I've seen cheaters, even had my family members cheat and have been cheated on each other. I think it is so sad. I just couldn't do that, but I really don't feel interested in other men either. Maybe I'm odd. If that's who you are, then we need more people like you. As for the women I meet, I try to look the best I can and walk around smiling. The women that smile back at me are the ones that are interested so those are what I have to work with. I'm no Brad Pitt, I have to take what I can get and I'm not overly picky, I won't reject a girl unless she's just really unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 What can you say about the woman that would go after taken men? Nothing good. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Care to explain why I have never cheated? I could go to bar any night of the week and pick up a girl. I have had plenty of opportunites with women that were hotter than the one I was dating. I'm also in sales and travel all across the country too so getting caught isn't something I have to worry about. Are you going to call me a liar too like you did grumpy? According to you, Men are only as faithful as their opportunites or if the girl is hot enough or not. Either you are very young, have no morals and values, hang around a bunch of losers, not very swift the ladies, settle with whoever will have you or you are just a cheater. I don't know who you are and haven't read any of your posts before so I have no idea if you're lying or not. Maybe you're 1 in 50? I think it would probably help to re-read what I wrote earlier if that's the impression you're getting from it though. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Every single time I turn them down....I find it annoying especially since stating matter of factly that I am married seems to invite more flirting so I have to get major grumpy with no fun. I get teased unmercifully about it at work too which really messes with my chi. Women can be very aggressive. It just makes me angry because I find it insulting to my integrity and to my wife. I know very few men who cheat on their wives, actually, and the ones who do are a$$e$ in almost all other aspects of their lives. I have a really healthy ego. I sowed enough wild oats when single to know that I was ready for monogamy and commitment. Not interested, Grumpywhenpropositioned *don't be angry at my googley eyes and secret crush* But really, your attitude is the kind I think most women in monogamous relationships want their man to have. We're all red-blooded humans and it is mostly going to be false that once married you no longer find any other person attractive....I mean we may all wish that would be true and maybe at the beginning when you're super in love and have tunnel vision it is, but especially overtime, you may find you see others that could potentially tickle your fancy, IF given the opportunity to do so. So it's clear monogamy is a choice and not autopilot most times and is indeed about integrity and choosing daily actions that honor your spouse and your marriage, which include turning down these advances. I asked my guy about this a couple weeks back and he said he'd tell her to ask his gf what she thought about it lol...he also expressed that even if he thought a woman was attractive, if she knew he was taken or married and was coming on to him, he would think she was trashy and got around probably and would be turned off from her if she propositioned him, as he would assume she does it often. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I see what you did there....it took me a minute, okay a few minutes, you are such a dichotomy, wrapped in an enigma.... Actually, I don't get why women hit on me. I'm pretty stoic and reserved IRL. If men want to be me, it is because I have an incredibly lovely and sweet wife....what was it Paul Newman said about Joanne Woodward? Why would I want hamburger when I have Filet Mignon at home? G The bold is actually probably why. A lot of women are attracted to this and find a stoic and reserved man challenging and along with him being married they believe that if they can woo this seemingly hard to get man and get him to respond to her and sleep with her, it validates her and makes her feel special and powerful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I don't know who you are and haven't read any of your posts before so I have no idea if you're lying or not. Maybe you're 1 in 50? I think it would probably help to re-read what I wrote earlier if that's the impression you're getting from it though. I kinda feel the same way. I don't know anybody here personally so I can't call anybody a liar. I'm not sure if the ratio is 1 in 50 or 5 out of 10 or 2 out of 5, what I do know is a lot of people cheat, so where are all the cheaters? Seems like they're everywhere but LS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I kinda feel the same way. I don't know anybody here personally so I can't call anybody a liar. I'm not sure if the ratio is 1 in 50 or 5 out of 10 or 2 out of 5, what I do know is a lot of people cheat, so where are all the cheaters? Seems like they're everywhere but LS. Indeed man. I wooed one of my girlfriends by talking all about my girlfriend before her at first. Women don't seem to realize how effective a tactic it can be. There's a lot of gullible people out there. =/ Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 There are men who cheat and it's not a good percentage but it isn't 1 in 50. As per my previous posts, it depends on your definition of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Oh right... We are going to have to make the thread a list of every single posters view on cheating, provide studies, peer reviews of those studies and still all disagree and then have a gender war. Can we just leave it at physical cheating (kissing, touching the bathing suit zone(s), oral sex and sex) and let people who want to argue if porn or looking at someone of the opposite sex for longer than 3 seconds is cheating or not to another thread? We can, but then you'll have to stop bringing up the 1 in 50 comment in the first place. Thereby bringing us to the topic. Or you can make a list of every sub category and ask me my opinion on how many taken men partake in each. And maybe I'll answer. Totally up to you my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Is this another one of those threads where "all the women are lying" again? behave lads! Its 50/50 in my experience. A lot of men find it extremely difficult to turn down pussy, and in particular social environments there are women who will gravitate towards such men due to preselection theory (I.e. Men who have a woman have proven they can attract a woman ergo he must be attractive - cue intrigue. Man also has ease in character and confidence as a result). 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I've rarely had direct propositions for sex. But, I frequently encounter flirty women, perhaps because I'm a bit like that myself in that I like a bit of (mild and relatively harmless) flirting myself. Almost all of the time that is as far as it goes. Occasionally I find the woman pushing the flirting a bit further than I am comfortable with. Then I back off a bit and keep a bit of distance. Perhaps two or three times in the last 20 years I have felt a strong attraction and let the flirting go a bit too far and gone on to have a closer relationship with the woman than is perhaps appropriate for a married man. I always make sure other women I meet know I am married. It always amazes me how many women are not discouraged by a wedding ring on a man. It gets worse with age - I'm now in my late 40's. I'd have thought that there would be less of this sort of thing at my age but perhaps women tend to get more open and direct about their wants when they're in my age range. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 (edited) I can't imagine actually getting hit on in front of my husband....what did your wife say? I would have said, Sorry, but he's up to bat for me. My wife thought it was funny, as I am not gay and she was not worried. The one was a gay coworker of hers that had a crush on me and would say things to her about what an amazing man I was at the work lunch room. Before he quit his job and left the state, he gave me a small hummer...the cologne. Yes you read that right he handed my wife a small tube of cologne with the name "hummer" and said make sure your husband knows this is from me. Now it was not so funny when a recently divorced and very attractive woman in town she knows asked to see me for lunch since we shared professional interests and she had heard all about me and that I might be looking for new work soon. Before I met her for lunch my wife was lecturing me on appropriates with this woman and telling me how much she loved me. If you knew the problems we have had in out marriage, I rather enjoyed her uncomfortable feelings about this (sorry). Edited May 12, 2014 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 You're the guy that was in the sexual forum asking Ophelia all about her orgasm after she visited that prostitute. Who are you trying to kid? You'll get a ton of nonsense from guys but in general we're all dogs. Lying dogs. Some have low testosterone and others just aren't into one girl or another but turning someone down on moral grounds, total horsesht excuse. Doesn't happen in reality. Only in stories guys tell women to try and show how studly they are. So they can cheat on their wives with them. Wow, you really have a jaded view of the fidelity of men. Some men are faithful. Some men value honesty, integrity, and their marriage, and are not interested in cheating on their spouse. I imagine it is difficult for those who do not have much of a moral compass to understand and accept that some men do have one, and do value honesty, integrity, and faithfulness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fluttershy Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 As a woman, i have had one case where a married man showed me obvious interest and I was cool with him. I have never been directly propisitioned. When I was just dating my H i had this guy hit on me in front of me and i found it really akward. He just would not stop (at a christmas party). Before that I was hit on at the retail store I was in by a man in his Fifties while his wife was shoppin in a Different area. He made me unconfortable but when he leaned in and asked if I wanted to go on a date i fled to the backroom and hi until he was gone. I was 17. None of those times flattered me or tempted me. When a single guy shows interest or flirts without knowing my marital status and then stops when thy learn it is far more flattering but for me still nt tempting! I don't think all guys have that much trouble turning down a woman. I think that is a gender stereotype that enforces the idea of the woman luring with her magical vajayjay and somehow being more at fault. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Many men who are loyal by nature to their partners send off signals that keeps the pass from happening in the first place. They are friendly but not flirty, and turn a few degrees cooler the instant something even sticks a toenail across the line of appropriate. Essentially they kill passes before they even have a chance to get started, usually without even being aware of them. I am not saying that ALL loyal men are like this--I am sure there are plenty of other guys who are loyal as the day is long, but also a bit more flirty by nature. But the former is how it works for me, up to and through decades of working as a straight man in majority-female workplaces. I would say this is true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eggplant Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 Wow, you really have a jaded view of the fidelity of men. Some men are faithful. Some men value honesty, integrity, and their marriage, and are not interested in cheating on their spouse. I imagine it is difficult for those who do not have much of a moral compass to understand and accept that some men do have one, and do value honesty, integrity, and faithfulness. I thought you posted on here that it was in your experience about 50-50. I was going to ask you was that 50-50 out of all men or just specifically the ones who got propositioned. (Maybe that post got deleted...?) Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 I thought you posted on here that it was in your experience about 50-50. I was going to ask you was that 50-50 out of all men or just specifically the ones who got propositioned. (Maybe that post got deleted...?) I never posted that on this thread. You must be thinking of another poster. But I do agree with that poster in that approximately 50% of married men have cheated on their spouse at one point. Link to post Share on other sites
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