hotpotato Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I'm happier now than I ever was in a relationship, so I say yes! If I want someone, I can date casually. No need for a relationship. I think if it happens, it happen, meanwhile I have my own goals. A guy would really, really have to be special to make me not want to be single. I do want I want when I want, mostly! Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Amelia Earhart /thread Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 Right now, I am married to work I think some people are better suited to being single than others. I am independent, enjoy my own company and am never bored. I also have good emotional support network from family and friends. I don't see much a relationship would add. I never wanted kids BTW so what is the point? I"m kinda getting started on a network of friends, in fact, it helps you think less about it...which, ironically, attracted some women of the Meetup. LOL Being light-hearted and fun without really focusing on it...when you're among friends, makes you more attractive to people. Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Leigh Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 I would be happy for a few years being single, then go back to dating, get jaded/frustrated after a while, then go back to being single and happy again. Currently in the "looking for someone" phase again, will probably get jaded again and go back to being truly single and not bother with dating yet again. Rinse and repeat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 I think people settle in to routines. Get use to things as they are for them. Get lazy. Forget. Stay as they are and even learn to think they are happy. Happy compared to what? Compared to being with someone you feel you were born to be with and spend the rest of your life loving? A whole bunch of other stupid **** that I can probably type out 100 incoherent pages of to describe it all? I don't think being single compares to that. I don't think most single people know what they are missing. I don't think people that carried on long relations with the wrong person knows either, they probably know less because they are tainted. Because I don't think we were meant to live a life alone. Some of you mother****ers need a kick in the ass. I am happy a lot of the time. And when I say happy, I mean not sad. Not sad isn't really the same as "happy". I love my nieces and nephews, they are a joy to be around and I am very happy with them in my life, the rest of my family and even a few of my friends. I have loved a woman before and was very happy with her. These are not the same thing. I am in a third world country right now. Most people here are really poor. No electricity, no running water, dirt floor at home, shower with a bucket, difficulties of rising above that is horrendous. More than likely, they will live out their life really poor and so will their children. I saw a young couple and they looked happy. They were walking along the trash strewn road smiling and holding hands. I can't imagine that guy wanting to trade lives with me other than to have my material means to better provide for his girl. I can't write anymore, it just pisses me off too much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Well, Im happy. I can come and go as I please. I can delve into work and passions as much as I want. i hope to start traveling soon as well. I've tried to date, but I'd forget about the guy and get wrapped up in working out, a book, etc. Men are becoming an afterthought for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 It depends on why you're single, like most things in life it's about choice. The person is a vegetarian by choice is completely different from the person who wants meat but can't get it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
luvshaq Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I prefer being single. No hallmark holidays. There's no one to answer to or consider when making decisions. I have a friend who's so emotionally dependent that he always has to be in a relationship. If a girl breaks up with him, he has to jump into another relationship asap. It's really sad how he can't enjoy the freedoms that come with being single. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Salvatore85 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I don't know if I'm exactly happy being single but I know the most depressed I've ever been in my life was during my 5-year relationship with my ex. I loved her deeply and honestly don't know if I want to put myself through that again? With all that said I'm currently in the best shape of my life, have no one nagging me and have no worries about someone cheating on me. I have many plans for the summer and plan on buying a house by the end of the year. I'm able to focus on my goals while I'm single and even though it would be nice to share my accomplishments with someone I'm certainly not going to force the issue. If it happens, it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 No, I am happier in a relationship than being single. Perhaps even a crappy relationship (but that is pretty much a broken heart talking) I hate it, singledom sucks and I have too much love to give. But not going to do anything about in the foreseeable future till healed from my last relationship. Maybe I am stating the obvious, but I count way more claims of people being happy single rather than being in a relationship. This is a forum called LOVEshack, focused pretty much on relationships and dating. I hereby proclaim you all a bunch of trolls Link to post Share on other sites
thedj10show Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) Maybe I am stating the obvious, but I count way more claims of people being happy single rather than being in a relationship. This is a forum called LOVEshack, focused pretty much on relationships and dating. I hereby proclaim you all a bunch of trolls And they never sung about being taken to the Single Shack. Edited May 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) Maybe I am stating the obvious, but I count way more claims of people being happy single rather than being in a relationship. This is a forum called LOVEshack, focused pretty much on relationships and dating. I hereby proclaim you all a bunch of trolls There's always room for improvement! Edited May 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I think living to be in a relationship is a silly way to live, as relationships come with their own set of issues you must contend with and aren't a guarantee of sheer bliss forever lol...hello that's why LS exists...people in relationships with problems like anyone else. In fact, being unhappy in a relationship is worse than being single. I'm someone who enjoys the companionship of a relationship and who wants to have a life partner. But when I was single I wasn't just living life waiting to be in a relationship, so in that sense I was happy. A relationship was something that would be nice but because I was already happy I wasn't desperate for one and I wasn't just living life aimlessly hoping for a relationship to give me meaning. And like I said, while relationships are great and have their perks, there is also a lot you have to actively work on and things you have to now consider and weigh that before when I was single didn't matter and I could on a whim do whatever I wanted in terms of particular things...so there are trade-offs. Some people are happier without being in a relationship and genuinely have no desire for one and the thought of being in one is what makes them feel uncomfortable or suffocated. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I am guessing that those who are truly happy while single are not spending their time posting on forums such as this. They are keeping occupied with activities that "fill" the void that another person might fill. The implication of this question is two things: 1. Those that are in relationships are more likely to be happy. 2. Single people who are happy are in the minority. I don't know about #2, but I do know that based on threads here and in conversations IRL, those in relationships are far from happy. Life is what it is. You make the best of what you have and create happiness or sadness with the attitude you have. There are days when I truly wish I could wake up single and "alone," and then there are days I am so grateful for my wife and family. The answer to your question in my opinion is not going to be the same every day for most people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrnova66 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I would be happy for a few years being single, then go back to dating, get jaded/frustrated after a while, then go back to being single and happy again. Currently in the "looking for someone" phase again, will probably get jaded again and go back to being truly single and not bother with dating yet again. Rinse and repeat. Well I do not even do that. I figure that is a waste of time. 90% of the people out there are all for themselves. I have better things to do with my time than to waste it. Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) I think living to be in a relationship is a silly way to live, as relationships come with their own set of issues you must contend with and aren't a guarantee of sheer bliss forever lol...hello that's why LS exists...people in relationships with problems like anyone else. In fact, being unhappy in a relationship is worse than being single.. But that really isn't the question is it. Ofcourse relationships come with their own set of issues a single person doesn't have to deal with, and the other way around. Even so, I am honest enough to myself to admit I rather deal with the issues within a relationship than the issues being single. Taking the question at face value, am I truly happy being single: no. And there is nothing wrong with that. But no doubt a lot of people are. But those people tend not to post on relationship forums. Edited May 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
thedj10show Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Could we potentially divide the single group into those that are: (a) still receiving physical intimacy (b) involuntarily celibate And see if there's a correlation? Link to post Share on other sites
potsticker Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Am I happy about the fact that I am single? not really. Am I sad about the fact that I am single? not really. If it ain't love, don't need it. Already have myself, so why'd I subject myself to someone I don't love for the rest of my life? The only real downside is that there's a greater chance of dying from some sort of heart failure while in my house since there's no1 who'd know I was dying, but in terms of quality of life? Don't give a damn about my relationship status. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 WHat's kind of funny is, I've talked to several married people and one most recently said, "Man, after hanging out with my single gal pals, I don't want to EVER go back to being single again! That whole dating scene seems to be just a nightmare!" Apparently, she doesn't miss being single at all and is totally happy in marriage and VERY glad she's NOT single. The nightmare of going back to "that scene" again is appalling. That's a different perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 WHat's kind of funny is, I've talked to several married people and one most recently said, "Man, after hanging out with my single gal pals, I don't want to EVER go back to being single again! That whole dating scene seems to be just a nightmare!" Apparently, she doesn't miss being single at all and is totally happy in marriage and VERY glad she's NOT single. The nightmare of going back to "that scene" again is appalling. That's a different perspective. If she's dating, it doesn't sound like she is happy single. I only date casually now, if at all. I'm much happier. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 If she's dating, it doesn't sound like she is happy single. I only date casually now, if at all. I'm much happier. I stopped doing a lot of stuff at one time. Stopped going out, stopped trying, stopped caring that I wasn't trying. Basically, I shut down. Lights are on, but nobodies home. When I started back up, it is much later in the game. All sorts of negative things are associated to me. People, women make all sorts of assumptions about me and why I am single. Never married, no kids......what are you...gay? Something wrong with you? ......probably. All I know is you have one life to live and I don't want mine to be about taking up space doing a job for someone else so they give me money coupons so I can use those coupons to survive another day until one day I am dead and buried. Done pooping. Gotta go get my free breakfast from the hotel now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) Just don't wind up like this guy. I stopped doing a lot of stuff at one time. Stopped going out, stopped trying, stopped caring that I wasn't trying. Basically, I shut down. Lights are on, but nobodies home. Edited May 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Joyfirst Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I would say, that happiness doesn't depend on being in relationship or not, it depends on your attitude and tendency to focus on either pleasing things or non pleasing things. As a matter of fact, if person can't be happy by herself or himself, most likely there won't be any lasting happiness in the relationship either. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I've gone several years being single and celibate and went through phases of happiness Some phases where I did not want a relationship, was perfectly fine. Other times I felt very lonely and wished I had someone to share my life with. I went back and forth with it. If I had to be alone for the rest of my life, I know I'd be capable of it, but I wouldn't exactly be pleased about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 (edited) Kudos to you Phoe, though I would imagine some are only saying "I'm completely happy being single, because I have an F-buddy down the block I can always go see". ALways a catch. lol Edited May 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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