am I wanted for the right reasons

[holly]

I AM MARRIED FOR OVER TEN YEARS ,he has cheated , lied, decieved and betrayed me,throughout the whole thing ,I stayed because I loved him and we had children togeather, i have gotten my life togeather now and my kids are older now and i feel it is time to move on i want to end my marriage so I can have happiness for me now.

 

He has done a totally turn around and acts like we will be togeather and has been doing alot of the things I have been asking for all of our marriage, he seems to be trying , but I think that I am way past trying I have no respect for him and no trust , I guess i will always love him in someway but its not the love I want.

 

I think he wants me now simply because he doesn't have me , and if we were to get back togeather (very slim) I think that would be short lived , he seems to want what he doesn't have and when he gets what he thinks he wants he treats it like crap and wants something else. Also I think he knows he will be the one hit the hardest financially.

 

Is he just playing with me and trying to worm his way back into my life because he finally realized he was a fool to let me go ?

 

How do I deal with his denial that our marriage is over ?

[Tony T]

Go with your feelings. See an attorney, file for divorce, get was is rightfully yours in the financial arena and move on.

 

You sound like you pulled away from this guy a long time ago and you are pretty much over him. You are not obligated to deal with him at this point. He has to pay for being a jerk and neglecting his marriage for so many years.

 

This guy treated you like royal crap all this time and now that you are leaving, he wants to be nice. To hell with that!!! I think he's got problems with hair on them.

 

You need to look out for yourself and what you want to do in life at this point.

[fishbulb]

I AM MARRIED FOR OVER TEN YEARS ,he has cheated

, lied, decieved and betrayed me,throughout the whole thing ,I stayed because I loved him and we had children togeather, i have gotten my life togeather now and my kids are older now and i feel it is time to move on i want to end my marriage so I can have happiness for me now. He has done a totally turn around and acts like we will be togeather and has been doing alot of the things I have been asking for all of our marriage, he seems to be trying , but I think that I am way past trying I have no respect for him and no trust , I guess i will always love him in someway but its not the love I want. I think he wants me now simply because he doesn't have me , and if we were to get back togeather (very slim) I think that would be short lived , he seems to want what he doesn't have and when he gets what he thinks he wants he treats it like crap and wants something else. Also I think he knows he will be the one hit the hardest financially.

 

Is he just playing with me and trying to worm his way back into my life because he finally realized he was a fool to let me go ? How do I deal with his denial that our marriage is over ?

JMO, but I think he's become so accustomed to taking you for granted, even through his 'indiscretions', that to not have anyone around to be forgiven by, he would have to CONFRONT HIS OWN WEAKNESSES! And what 'real man' would want to admit his own weakness? He kept you weaker in the marriage by all his ultimately controlling behaviour just to cover up his own fears: by keeping you off-balance he can think of himself as in control. Therefore, when he no longer has you in this position, he, of course, turns into the most wonderful man on the planet...you were married how long, and you actually BUY this? OF COURSE he's trying to cover his ass- without someone to make him feel superior, it's just out there flappin' in the breeze...just as it deserves to be...