I need help please.

[James]

Hi, me and her have being going out for 3 monthes. she is 15 and im 16. i really really think im in love with her. this is the first time ive really had a relationship going. most gilrs dont really give me the time of day, so i am a little insecure i guess. she is so pretty that i dont even know why she likes me. it always seems like she is going to break up with me. we dont go to the same school, so we dont see each other often. when we talk on the phone it is really hard to tell my feelings because she isnt very serious most the time. i told her in a letter that i thought i was falling in love with her, and she hasnt said anything about it or anything. i need advice on how to tell her that i love her or anything that is deep, so we can stop having these conversations on the phone that seem like we are just friends. also, some days she will say that im on her mind or whatever, or that she misses me. shes always on my mind so i say you too. then ill tell her that and she says "k" and giggles. also, today she was telling me about her 4 guy friends who she went to lunch with and they bought her lunch, i guess this is my insecurities kicking in again. she did tell me however that this is her longest relationship too, but i just dont feel like i did before. maybe she is getting sick of me or something. i dont know, but can anyone tell me anything about our relationship or something, thanks.

[Tony T]

Fifteen-year-old girls are notorius for being fickle. And hardly famous for getting serious with a guy. It doesn't sound like she's anywhere near the point you are in the feelings department. This girl wants to have fun while she is young. There are years and years ahead for that getting serious stuff.

 

If you're looking for a lady to fall in love with and settle down, look for a girl 20 to 23. They absolutely LOVE 16 year old guys they can train.

 

I know you really care about this girl but she is destined to break your heart. And the more mushy you get with her, the sooner she's going to split. So if you want her around at all, if you want to have her as a friend and do things with her, cut with the love stuff. She's not there yet.

 

As far as giving you advice on how to tell her you love her, my advice is NOT to tell her at all. Again, her life is wide open now and she wants to experience her teen years by having as much fun as possible with as many people as possible. If you press this I love you thing, she will back away from you in a heartbeat. If you don't believe me, just try it. Take her for a walk and tell her.

 

Enjoy her company as long as you can and don't worry about the getting serious stuff. You can't win with that right now. If you really want this girl, wait four or five years and even then she may not be ready.

[sparkle]

Hi James,

 

I have to agree with what Tony says.

 

Don't tell her you love her. Maybe if you want to express your feelings for her, tell her you like her, or that you enjoy hanging out with her. Something like that.

 

And have fun talking to her on the phone or hanging out with her, but don't get too serious. Don't tie yourself down. Don't feel insecure either. If you think she's so pretty, well....she's with you, so you are as incredibly hot as she is pretty. Trust me! If you don't think so, you're not giving yourself enough credit at all. Look in the mirror again and tell yourself "I am sexyyyy, girls want me "

 

Enjoy dating her. If things start getting boring or going wrong, break up with her and don't feel bad or sad about doing so. Just be confident about yourself By the time you're 18, you'll have so many more pretty girls chasing after you. And by the time you're in college...oh boy...more girls than you can imagine. And when you're there, you don't want to be tied down with a girl anyway.

 

Good luck!

 

One last word of advice regarding your comment "most gilrs dont really give me the time of day, so i am a little insecure i guess": Girls love confident guys. Even if you do feel insecure at times, the more you feel good about yourself most of the time, the better things will be.