Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 u are right. more than that he was confsued about me. I cannot build the rest of my life with confusion as the foundation. If the foundation is weak, it'll all collapse anyway i got to try harder Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Yep EMMU.. Come out of this confusion..just see where you are leading to ..and if it is leading to nothing as we all can see then better stop it... you dont want to be in quagmire always...come out of it... i wish POCKY gives you some of her classic punches..trust me they are highly effective........... Good Luck.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 calling out pocky! thanks.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 Its killing me... him talking to her 2 hours a day its killing me and the NC is killing me.. i wanna call him and tell him he is an ass Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Unfortunately, you're perpetuating your own misery. By tracking his actions you are continuing the cycle of pain you received from this relationship. You're playing a victim instead of taking control of your life and moving on. It's going to hurt. No one can deny you that. It's what you do to retaliate the hurt you're experiencing that's going to make all the difference. So he's an ass. Big deal. Honestly - what does it matter if you tell him? Do you think that he'll really understand? Do you think that he'll care? You're making a mistake if you think you'll suddenly feel justified that you tell him he's an ass. The only way you're ever going to feel justified is by moving on and letting go of something that's abundantly unhealthy and self-destructive. He lied. He promised something, which he should have never promised and which you should have never asked him to promise, and he didn't keep his promise. Why should he? He has no obligation to you. If you continue to approach this problem in the same manner you're approaching it then you're the only one to blame for your increased pain. His actions are irrelevant to your life - you are the one that has continued the cycle of suffering. Isn't it time you stopped letting something that doesn't concern you anymore hurt you further? Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup Its killing me... him talking to her 2 hours a day its killing me and the NC is killing me.. i wanna call him and tell him he is an ass and what will happen after that..will he stop talking to her..comeon dont be childish..just forget him..kick him out of your life and then what he does,whom he talks,where he goes is none of your business and you should not be bothered due to that.. Find some new frnds..go out .spend time on yourself rather than checking his phone records.... if you break NC and then start talking to him how will that help.will he stop talking to her ..will things get any better.. the only good thing you can do right now is to kick him out of your life..just think that you deserve something better than this...and try to move on in life.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 and who knows whom he is talking to. it shudnt be my concern. he doesnt log on anymore..I know its coz he has the urge to messge me. He hasnt called in days.. Part of me wants him to and the other part says no. Its hurting becoz this is the longest time we have had no contact. we have not talked since monday morning and probably wont for the rest of our lives... i want to let go..but his eyes haunt me... i know looks are nothing..but his good looking face haunts me too.. i miss everything..and i miss it badly... i cried it out this morning... and the thing is I DONT WANT TO MISS HIM I DONT WANT TO REMEMBER ANYTHING.... I DONT I DONT i lierally cant breather coz of the no contact.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 by the way if i want to go and see a shrink just to get more positive thoughts in my head.. how do i go about doing that... like do i gfo to licensed phsychologist or a counsellor...? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Do you have health insurance? If so, the best approach would be to contact your primary doctor and explain what services you're looking for and ask for a referral. Some insurance companies require a referral in order to cover the visit and it's good to get some guidance from your primary doctor as to which person may be able to help you the most. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 ok thanks...i'll do that. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Hey EMMU, Yes thats the right approach go to your primary doctor and then get referred to a Shrink.The primary doctor might give you some medications to calm you till you actually meet the pschyiatrist. Some additional things which i wanted to say to you 1.NC is hurting -- Yes it hurts and it hurts to everyone who has been through this process.It hurts cause we all are human not robots that we would erase everything by delete command .Will it stop hurting if you break NC and go and meet him or it would hurt more?? Missing someone or getting dumped by someone is hurting but UNREQUITED love hurts more.You have got yourself into a vicious cycle ,you feel bad --you meet him-- he is not yours now -- it hurts you so you are back at the same place.Please break this cycle Wont it hurt you more to be with a person who is with you but not yours , wont it hurt to be in someone's life like a backup.Rather you should consider yourself to be fortunate to know that he is talking to someone and you know it, Many of us found it so late that our ex's were cheating on us and that hurts more. 2.Everyone feels that his or her cross is the heaviest but everyone has to bear it.The more you think of it the more it will hurt.Why to shower your love and care for someone who doesnt value it ? Why to cry for someone who isnt affected for your tears ? Just imagine are you so inconsequential that you want to be on someone's mercy? 3.The first step to heal is to stop contact and then generate the belief in you that you are not someone to be treated like this.You are an individual with your own dignity and self respect and no one in this world has the right to belittle you.You might be feeling now that it is impossible to live like this and its quite normal to feel that way but with each passing day you would feel better and stronger what is needed is the resolve to slog it out. Recurring pain is worse than one time pain so why to have recurring pains.You make a resolve that you are going to have a better life for you and suddenly you would find numerous avenues many a things which you were neglecting till now and the more you believe in yourself more confident you would be and more beautiful the life would be. When we are old and look back at our life we wont remember what we did but we would remember what we didnt do ? So live your life to fullest.We only get one life and so dont squander it. Hope this helps...keep us posted about the developments. Good Luck.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 thanks greenhorn.. i had gone to the doctor but i didnt wanna take anti-depressants..instead my mom started sending me homeopathy from india... anyway ill go back to him. I am trying to break free. I will ofcourse keep u updated. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 No no not anti-depressants but they can give you something like Diapam which actuallt calms you down when your brain is thinking at break-neck speed. AFAIK homeopathy takes a long time to show its affect..anyway the best thing is to help yourself..talk to your family and talk to your parents ..share with them they would help you ..dont sit alone and keep thinking... Be a Fighter..... Good Luck.. Link to post Share on other sites
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