mercuryshadow Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 My FI and I are getting married in two weeks. After our wedding and honeymoon, we were planning on remodeling our kitchen, and doing some of the work ourselves. We were thinking about starting in mid June. My FI's parents were going to be driving up next Wednesday, before the wedding. They called him last week and insisted that they come a few days early so as to start ripping up the kitchen. FI and I agreed that right before the wedding was not a good time to rip up the kitchen. He told them this, and I thought they understood. However, he did not know if they were planning on staying with us at all, or if they'd just be staying with his brother's family. I sent a nice email to his parents asking if they'd like to stay with us, and when, so that I could make up rooms and beds. We have a spare room that I'd be moving my son into while they stay, so they can have his full size bed. I'd also want to clean his room up; he's a little boy, not the most organized! I never got a response to that email, but they said to FI, "we will be coming up later in the week since we aren't wanted anywhere." Where they got this idea from, I have no idea!! Just because we didn't want our kitchen torn apart before our wedding? I'm speechless now...frustrated, and also stressed. Should I bother sending another email? In no way did I sound unwelcoming to them. I didn't even mention the kitchen in my email, FI had addressed that previously. I just wanted to know if I should start prepping for their arrival, cleaning, making beds up, etc. Thoughts? Needless to say, this is not how I want to be feeling leading up to our wedding day. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 Ignore the fact that they are being drama Queens. Pick up the phone. Call them reiterate your offer to make up the rooms & relocate your son. Talk about how much you are looking forward to having them before the wedding. Act like they never said that they felt unwanted. Just make them feel wanted. If they don't come, leave it be & be happy on your wedding day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mercuryshadow Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 Ignore the fact that they are being drama Queens. Pick up the phone. Call them reiterate your offer to make up the rooms & relocate your son. Talk about how much you are looking forward to having them before the wedding. Act like they never said that they felt unwanted. Just make them feel wanted. If they don't come, leave it be & be happy on your wedding day. Thank you once again, donnivain. I talked with a lady at work about the issue, because she could see that I was feeling shaken about something. She gave me the same advice. I'm going to have to give making a phone call to them a shot... the only reason I've been hesitant about it is because A) I've already got it in my head that they don't like me (i.e. why else all of the drama and difficulty?) B) They monopolize conversations to the point where you can't get a word in. My thinking was that email was direct and I could convey my message without confusion, but I guess it backfired. I'll ignore the dramatics and call them. Thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 They probably do like you but may be feeling insecure about their future place in your FIs life. They probably also express love differently. I'm still getting used to my ILS family traditions not all of which make sense to me. It's not that they don't love me or even that they don't like me, it's just not what I was raised with. Hope the call goes well. As a general proposition, the personal touch rather than a call or text works better when you are communicating a generation or more "up." Link to post Share on other sites
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