My New Attitude

[Targetlock]

I thought I might share you my story

 

Recently I've been through an attitude change, a positive new way of thinking about myself and how i should do things. before this i was shy, a bit awkward and my self esteem was terrible and i just let people walk all over and at work I've realised I'm too nice and allow myself to be walked all over by not standing up for myself, and treated like a doormat because people knew they could get away with it. i was getting tired of feeling ignored and under appreciated and recently something just snapped.

I realised that the opinions of people who aren't my friends shouldn't matter to me and that i was too focused on the what people think of me.

I don't know exactly what has caused it (maybe the herbal remedy for stress I'm taking) but all the crap I've put up with has made something snap and I'm trying a new confident way of thinking and acting, various friends have noticed this about me. So far i haven't brought this new attitude to work and hope i don't fall back into new habits, but this new attitude is making things happen, i was successful with an interview for a new job which will hopefully work out and then i have sorted that out i can turn my focus on other parts of my life; my love life for example.

Thanks for reading.

[todreaminblue]

congratulations..........deb

[Erlaad]

I'd call this healthy progress.

Forgive me if I sound a bit "party-mood-breaker", but this was actually the easy part. Hard part is, follow through with your decision: breaking habits and self-imposed mindset can be an ordeal.

 

But by the sound of your words you will make it. Willpower and soldier on untill you make You v2.0 a reality!

 

May the Willpower be with you,

- Erl

[Targetlock]

Thanks, and yes i know its making this new attitude and way of thinking about myself stick and not go back into the same old habits.

[learning_slowly]

Well done anyway. Maybe there should be a group for people that are doing this. Remember, body and mind need to be happy, for you to be happy, so include. exercise to help you achieve your goals.

[Targetlock]

A positive attitude and way of thinking goes a long way, I want to keep this new me, I like new me

[Targetlock]

It was just the realisation that many of problems can link back to worrying too much about what people think of me and that if i don't know them and or that if they don't like me, why does their opinion matter to me?? only the opinions of friends and loved ones should matter and influence me in that way.

I seem to have a found a new sense of self-esteem from somewhere and that my opinion of myself is far more important than that of strangers and non-friends.

[Brenda G. Hansen]

I think that taking positive steps forward is such an important step. I love the new attitude that you described and I am sure that it is going to help you in the immediate future. I think that if you keep trying to be positive every day there is no way that it will not work.

[xxmusical]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I think I'm a bit similar with you. I've always tried changing my attitude but was rarely successful...maybe I never stuck with it. I will try again Good luck to both of us!

[Potz4prez]

I thought I might share you my story

 

Recently I've been through an attitude change, a positive new way of thinking about myself and how i should do things. before this i was shy, a bit awkward and my self esteem was terrible and i just let people walk all over and at work I've realised I'm too nice and allow myself to be walked all over by not standing up for myself, and treated like a doormat because people knew they could get away with it. i was getting tired of feeling ignored and under appreciated and recently something just snapped.

I realised that the opinions of people who aren't my friends shouldn't matter to me and that i was too focused on the what people think of me.

I don't know exactly what has caused it (maybe the herbal remedy for stress I'm taking) but all the crap I've put up with has made something snap and I'm trying a new confident way of thinking and acting, various friends have noticed this about me. So far i haven't brought this new attitude to work and hope i don't fall back into new habits, but this new attitude is making things happen, i was successful with an interview for a new job which will hopefully work out and then i have sorted that out i can turn my focus on other parts of my life; my love life for example.

Thanks for reading.

 

I find that writing down reminders on notecards that you can look at when you feel yourself slipping back into old habits help a lot. Write down something that reinforces your new positive thought patterns. Only you know exactly what to write on them. For me, I had problems with anxiety, so I'd write "Don't worry" on cards I kept in my wallet and at my desk. I wish you the best!

[Targetlock]

yeah that helps, constantly keep reminding and reinforcing my new way of thinking that and not worrying so much about what people think of me and stop comparing my life to other people or not being so hard on myself and all that negative thinking that gets me nowhere.

[littleplanet]

Well OP, congratulations. Looks good on ya!

It's a damned good attitude to have.

You can't please everybody all the time.

 

Reinforcing your self-esteem with friends and loved ones....people who know you and care about you - is always a good idea. Gives you a balanced outlook on yourself.

 

As someone here mentioned....the trick is to maintain the program. Not always easy.

But the more you do it, the more solid the foundation you're standing on (much better than the quicksand of worrying about what people who don't really know you happen to think.)

 

We live in a world full of superficial impressions, and shallow values. But hey - the real cream always rises to the top.

Negativity is just that - negative.

As a wise old songwriter once wrote.....don't let them drag you down into the hole they're in.....(whoever 'they' happen to be.)

 

You'll be fine. Just keep on and stick to your guns. A good set of core values will take you far in life....and the journey can be most pleasant!

[Targetlock]

Well OP, congratulations. Looks good on ya!

It's a damned good attitude to have.

You can't please everybody all the time.

 

Reinforcing your self-esteem with friends and loved ones....people who know you and care about you - is always a good idea. Gives you a balanced outlook on yourself.

 

As someone here mentioned....the trick is to maintain the program. Not always easy.

But the more you do it, the more solid the foundation you're standing on (much better than the quicksand of worrying about what people who don't really know you happen to think.)

 

We live in a world full of superficial impressions, and shallow values. But hey - the real cream always rises to the top.

Negativity is just that - negative.

As a wise old songwriter once wrote.....don't let them drag you down into the hole they're in.....(whoever 'they' happen to be.)

 

You'll be fine. Just keep on and stick to your guns. A good set of core values will take you far in life....and the journey can be most pleasant!

 

Thanks and yeah that it is exactly the way of thinking i am trying enforce a little bit of encouragement at a time, seems to be working so far.

[Targetlock]

This seems to be a tricky thing to try and enforce and not slip back into negative thinking and old patterns. my usual loneliness and poor self-esteem is starting to creep back in when I think too much about the state of my love life

But first I need to get my new job sorted and then I can concentrate on fixing that next!

[Johnsmith1003]

I thought I might share you my story

 

Recently I've been through an attitude change, a positive new way of thinking about myself and how i should do things. before this i was shy, a bit awkward and my self esteem was terrible and i just let people walk all over and at work I've realised I'm too nice and allow myself to be walked all over by not standing up for myself, and treated like a doormat because people knew they could get away with it. i was getting tired of feeling ignored and under appreciated and recently something just snapped.

I realised that the opinions of people who aren't my friends shouldn't matter to me and that i was too focused on the what people think of me.

I don't know exactly what has caused it (maybe the herbal remedy for stress I'm taking) but all the crap I've put up with has made something snap and I'm trying a new confident way of thinking and acting, various friends have noticed this about me. So far i haven't brought this new attitude to work and hope i don't fall back into new habits, but this new attitude is making things happen, i was successful with an interview for a new job which will hopefully work out and then i have sorted that out i can turn my focus on other parts of my life; my love life for example.

Thanks for reading.

 

I've recently discovered I was wildly passive towards others too. I would do anything and everything asked just to avoid conflict and that need to be liked. By everyone. Even if it meant doing things I didn't enjoyed, causing me stress or resentment to the person. I just needed needed needed people to like me since I had many of the things you did in childhood too (shy, etc). I gradually got fed up with this but weirdly enough fell into the opposite of the spectrum and became more aggressive instead of passive, likely due to the frustration of being passive in the first place (but I still pandered to everyone, go figure) well the past month someone told me two things that I found relief from; you can't control others' thoughts or feelings regardless of your efforts so why be burdened with unnecessary guilt? And it's your and your responsibility alone that dictates how your mood is. Why CHOOSE to be anything but happy?

[Targetlock]

I've recently discovered I was wildly passive towards others too. I would do anything and everything asked just to avoid conflict and that need to be liked. By everyone. Even if it meant doing things I didn't enjoyed, causing me stress or resentment to the person. I just needed needed needed people to like me since I had many of the things you did in childhood too (shy, etc). I gradually got fed up with this but weirdly enough fell into the opposite of the spectrum and became more aggressive instead of passive, likely due to the frustration of being passive in the first place (but I still pandered to everyone, go figure) well the past month someone told me two things that I found relief from; you can't control others' thoughts or feelings regardless of your efforts so why be burdened with unnecessary guilt? And it's your and your responsibility alone that dictates how your mood is. Why CHOOSE to be anything but happy?

 

Yeah i know the feeling and have the same issue and constantly allow myself to be walked over and used as a doormat sometimes without realising it, too busy trying to be nice to people i guess rather than my needs.