friends?

[Java]

Hey, I'm having a really bad day, so please bear with me. I used to be really close to one of my friends. She and I were what you called "best friends." We did everything together, confided in eachother and she was there for me in a low time in my life. So, I've known her now for about three years, at least I thought I knew her.

 

Quite suddenly, she stopped all forms of communication with me. I was pondering the situation, trying to figure out if I had done something to offend her. I could not figure it out. All that I could see as a possible problem was that her cousin had discouraged her to hang out with me. You see, when we would go out clubbing or whatever, her cousin (our age) would also come along. We all got along well, or so I thought. So, it's been about three months since we've actually had a conversation and it really hurts.

 

Today, I found out from a guy friend of ours that she told him I was a "self-centered, attention seeking, idiot." Real nice, eh? The reason she apparently thought this was due to the fact that I woulnd't go out with him. She thought I was leading him on and only doing it for the attention.

 

Never had she expressed these thoughts to me before and I was shocked. I was mad because my relationships with guys has little to nothing to do with OUR relationship. Anyway, I'm lead to beleive that her cousin may have had an influence on her-you know how women are, three's always a crowd. So, I guess you never really know who you're friends are.

 

What makes me the most upset is the fact that I pride myself on being a good friend. I'm there to listen, I don't pass jugdement on them and they know I'd drop anything for them-I even tell them this. Never have I been told before that I am self-centered or that I crave attention, and I can honeslty say that I don't. I'm a quiet person and I'd rather observe than be observed.

 

As far as my relationship with my guy friend, I don't see how this was any of her buisness. I've had many a long conversation with him about us to try and work something out so he wouldn't get hurt. She was not a close friend of his at all! He apparently stood up for me when she was making these accusations, and they ended up arguing over "what kind of person I am." Why not just ask me?

 

So, all in all, I found this a lame excuse to be mad at me. Everything happened so suddenly and she really hurt my feelings. Her cousin and her do everything together now and when I see them at the bar occasionally, her cousin says a casual "hi, how are you...I havn't seen you in SUCH a long time!." Give me a break.

 

I guess I just wanted to vent. Why do girls have to knock eachother down so bad? We become our own woarse ennemies in the long run. You never really know who your friends are, even when they seem to be your best friends.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Tony T]

Yes, I felt your pain a few dozen posts below...and I feel it again here.

 

Some friends are for real and perfectly genuine. Some friends are not really your friends but acquaintances who will turn on you in a heartbeat.

 

The most heartbreaking thing in the world that can happen, worse than any breakup, is to learn that your best friend was never a friend at all.

[sparkle]

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." --Oscar Wilde

 

Your friend is acting pretty immature, and so is her cousin. If you still want to mend your friendship with her, give her a call and be nice to her. Sound concerned and sincere, and ask her if she was upset because of something you did. Maybe she's angry with you for a totally different reason--it's better to just ask her straight up rather than listen to what the guy friend said. As for her cousin, do what the quote says.

 

Good luck!

[Oscar Wilde]

Some people are just annoying all the time, anyway!